I'd like to add to that.
FAMILY...
- cries together
- prays together
- exercises together
- reads together
- eats together
- figures things out together
- gets on each others nerves together
- does silly things together
- can achieve great things together
- tries to figure out life together
Last week, our family was together on spring break and I realized that I needed to be totally present with them, so I turned off the laptop, in order to fully focus on them. Sometimes we get so caught up in our routine that we forget what is really important...our FAMILY. It doesn't matter what your family looks like, if you are in a...2-parent home, single-parent home, grandparent and child, husband and wife, or it's just you and the dog...this is your family. Since you have to live with these individuals, why not make the most of out of your time together. My husband and I realize that we only have about 4-5 more years before our older son leaves for college. Yes, the same fat-cheeked, thick-thighed little baby that I used to put in a onesie and kiss on legs, who is now taller than me will soon be off to college. Then four years after that, his younger brother who had the skinny legs and arms and extraterrestrial fingers, who now rocks a mohawk and is the fastest runner on the field, will be out the door, as well. So how should we spend the time now? Whatever we do, it must be together! Because I have only a few more years before they leave the home, we must continue to raise them as respectable, charismatic, educated, strong, confident, courageous, God-loving African American leaders who will be game changers in the world. (Although at times I might see them as fickle-minded little boys that don't like to take showers, talk way too much and can get on your last nerve....I'm just saying.) It's all about togetherness. We are figuring out life together. They are learning from us and we are learning from them! Sometimes it's challenging. Sometimes it's time-consuming! Sometimes it's uncomfortable! BUT it's all worth it!
Yesterday, we had our older son open the first baseball game of the season as the starting pitcher and just one field over, our younger son was in a learning session for lacrosse. My husband and I could sit in the stands together watch one child in front of us and then turn our head to the left to watch the other child. Although you think that your children don't want you around, just stop and imagine what it does for them to see you in the sports stands or at the math competition or at their school program cheering for them. Your support can build up such confidence in them. Don't wait for your children to "figure it out"...help them navigate their lives and do it TOGETHER. Even when my husband and I can't be their together physically, we just 'tag team' it and our kids still feel loved and supported.
Togetherness is not about sitting together all of the time, holding hands, singing Kumbaya my Lord. Togetherness is a state of mind that says:
- we are on the same page
- we have each other's back
- we are not afraid to show each other love
- we refuse to allow differences to separate us
- we are going to figure this out
- we are a part of each other's journey
- we will work hard to bring out the best in each other.
That's togetherness! Stop, focus and be present in this moment, because all you have is right now. You can't catch the second that just passed, so participate in the second that is right now. Oh there it is... oops another second... it just passed...here comes another... did you jump in or did it pass you by?...here comes another second...Good Lawd, it's gone again.
It's like the game of double dutch. One person is standing on one end holding the ropes (the past) and another individual is standing at the other end holding the ropes (the future). The only way to master the game of double-dutch is to practice jumping in the middle (the present). This moment is all that you have so practice jumping in together with your family. You might mess up from time to time and get caught up between the ropes, but quickly run around to the other end of the rope and jump in the middle again. That's what makes jumping rope so fun, you can mess up and jump right back in.
I encourage you today to jump in with your family today. Don't worry about what how you got tripped up in the ropes, but together figure out how you can start over. It's alright to admit that you messed up and would like another chance to begin again. In fact, when you're honest with your family and let them know that you don't have all of the answers, but you'd like to learn from them as they learn from you...you actually learn to live in the present, focus on doing it together and get pretty good at landing between the ropes with ease.
Well my older son just walked into the kitchen and kissed me on the cheek, so now it's time to get the house rocking. In fact, I think we're all going to get up, get dressed and go out for breakfast TOGETHER! (I'm not cooking this morning. Praise God for good restaurants.)
Now walk it out... or better yet, go ahead, wait for it, wait for it, now JUMP...
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