Monday, March 10, 2014

Day #6: This Journey is Really About Me - Oh Great!

Good Lawd!  It's only day #6 and I'm already stressed.

 I've been trying to figure out what I'm going to write about today.  What jewel will I pick up by the end of the day to share with you?  Will I have a good story to share?  Will there be some type of funny anecdote that I can impart to you so that you will be lighthearted when you approach your family?  Uh... I don't think that's going to happen today.

This morning I woke up with a game-plan of how the day would go.  I have to finish buying items and pack a suitcase for my 13-year-old to take on his spring break trip.  I have to buy a mustache for my 9-year-old son who will be dressed as Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. tomorrow in school.  I have to make sure that we purchase more dog food.  Oh yeah, I started washing clothes last night and would like to finish today.  I have to finish planning a major event that will occur in just 2 more days.  All of this was swarming through my head this morning, as I was getting ready to leave for work and while my husband prepared to take the boys to school.  Oops, I forgot to mention my husband, didn't I? (Let me pause right now and send him a cute little text message to start his day off............Okay, I'm back.) 
All of this on my plate and I still have to come up with something to share with you.  As I drove to work in silence (Oftimes, the radio is a distraction and I like to hear my own thoughts), the still small voice began to speak to me and remind me of a few things.  Yesterday, I put this message on Facebook  as my husband was preaching... You can shout about the product, but can you shout about the process? It sounded really good, until I realized this morning that it was actually a message for me.
I honestly believe that the Lord gave me this assignment to "Focus on my family", but all I saw was the product.  


I imagined asking my children, at the end of the 40 days how I made them feel and they would say, "Mommy, you're the best Mom ever because you made me feel special".....................................................................PRODUCT.
I didn't realize though that I would have to sacrifice my time, energy and will to make an impact on them........................PROCESS.
I could see the entire family walking hand in hand, singing 'Kumbaya my Lord,Kumbaya'...............................................................................PRODUCT.
I didn't realize that there would be times that my children wouldn't even want me to invade their space............................PROCESS. (By the way, your space is my space Buddy, as long as I'm paying the bills.)
I envisioned my husband and I being this power couple, loving and kissing on each other all the time, truly enjoying each others company.....PRODUCT.
I didn't realize that I would have to be deliberate in my daily communication and affirm him, so that he feels totally safe and secure with me...             ............................................................PROCESS.  (By the way, he just returned my text and said that he loved me AND he fed the dog. Woohoo! I'm on the right track!)

What I heard this morning was... in order to focus on my family, I need to do my own introspection and focus on God.  As I approach this time of reconnection with my family, I have to commit to talking to God each day about my family.  If I say that I truly love them, then I must make sure that I'm equipping myself daily.  
Equipping myself by simply going to God first and thanking Him for my family.
Equipping myself by finding scriptures on love and applying them.
Equipping myself by learning what makes me tick, so that I am at my best when I approach my family.
Equipping myself enough to know that even when I'm at my weakest point that God will give me grace, so that I can show a little grace to them.
Equipping myself with daily affirmations, both for myself and to share with my family.
Equipping myself enough to know that this is a part of my PROCESS and my journey.  It's about living and loving with intention and purpose.  

So let's play the rewind button....let's start over.

As I focus on my family for the remainder of this 40-day journey, I will begin each day with a prayer.  Feel free to pray along with me and return to it, whenever you need a reminder.

Dear Lord, I thank you that You love me and it is Your desire that I live at my best level.  That level can only be achieved once I'm honest with myself and open to You.  Lord help me not to live out of my past experiences, but rather let me start afresh with a new mind and a stronger determination to honor you and to love my family.  Use my ears, so I can hear from You and then be keen enough to pick up on what they really mean when they are speaking.  Use my voice so that I can speak gentle words of wisdom.  Use my legs so that I may walk according to Your path.  And if I stray off the road, please lead me to a detour quickly so I can get back on track.  Use my eyes, so I may see the beauty of every situation, even the difficult ones.  Finally God, give me Your heart so I can love beyond my own capacity.


There you have it my friends, I'm using this day as my launching pad to recommit and refocus my intention for this 40-day journey.

Now walk it out...

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