Have you ever felt like you were living your life on cruise control? You set a certain speed a while ago and now you are moving aimlessly throughout life, trying to keep up. Cruise control, in a car, works best when you're on the highway traveling, if it's a pretty simple terrain and not too many other cars around. It works best when everyone is traveling at a similar pace. As long as you keep steering and the car is under control, you are moving along just fine. Let's say that you set the cruise control to 70mph, the car takes over. and operates at that speed. If the terrain shifts and you now hit an upward hill, the car senses it and begins to accelerate temporarily in order to maintain an average speed of 70. In like manner, if you are now traversing a downward hill, the car will decelerate accordingly. Again, this works on the highway when you are alert and able to flow with traffic. But cruise control is not your friend if you're tired or if there's too much traffic on the highway.
Each year there are so many automobile accidents because the driver set the cruise control, but fell asleep at the wheel, rendering them unable to give the car a different command. So the car simply continued cruising and the lulled driver never realized that the traffic had slowed, there was a sharp turn was ahead or that the terrain had changed. Before you know it, the car and the driver have gone off the road. The reality is most of these accidents end tragically and take out more than just the driver of this car. This type of tragedy occurs not because the driver was intoxicated or was a distracted driver, but simply because the driver was comfortable and allowed the car to operate on cruise control.
But how many of us have set our lives up like this? We've been following the same patterns day in and day out and not much has changed over the years. The kids are fine, the marriage is fine, the job is fine so we keep doing the same things over and over again. We 've grown accustomed to operating out of habit, rather than moving with a set goal or purpose. We missed the exit or the opportunity to get off and travel on a more scenic route a long time ago. We opt to stay in the center lane and keep up with the moving traffic, even though we know that there is an exit ahead that will allow us to slow down and enjoy the sites. We know that we need to pause for a moment and refuel, but now we're moving at such a pace that we're afraid to brake and signal that we'd like to get off the highway to take a different path. I must admit that in my own experience with driving long distances, one of the passengers will say that they need to use the restroom and the driver will drive past a few exits, in an effort to make good time. It's usually not until the passenger has stated several times that they REALLY need to use the restroom that the driver will finally slow down and pull off the highway. Now everyone inside of the car is stressed and it usually ends with the passenger jumping out of the car trying to make it to the restroom without embarrassing him/herself. (Yikes...I've been both passenger and driver in this situation. Now that I stop and think about it....that's not cool at all.)
We've gotten so used to doing things a certain way that now it's hard to admit that you really would like to change things up a bit and move at a different pace or pull off the highway temporarily. So the family keeps moving in the same direction, the marriage is maintained, the job is adequate but not meaningful, the finances never change (operating in lack) and relationships don't evolve. Don't misunderstand me, life is good and manageable, you're still relatively happy, but you've also hit a place of stagnation. The people (traffic) around you is dependent upon you not braking nor breaking the cycle. Everyone has gotten so accustomed to you moving, acting, existing at a certain pace that it might be uncomfortable for both you and them to slow down. You're so fearful to "keep up" that you missed the exit because you were moving too quickly. You feel the cars behind you bearing down on you and the cars on either side, keeping you boxed in. You are traveling in the middle of the highway, many times feeling helpless because you feel like you are 'stuck' with no where else to go.
Well I've got good news for you....
It takes one decision, one signal, one action to end this trajectory and for you to regain control of your situation. One pause, one idea, one act of bravery to keep from traveling at a speed that could potentially harm you and those around you. It's time to brake! I didn't say stop, just tap on the brakes. In your car, if the car is on cruise control, a gentle tap of the brake pedal signals to the car computer that YOU have now regained control of the vehicle. This gentle tap forces the car to yield to the decisions and directions of the driver once again. You can now safely move through traffic at a speed determined only by the driver.
I believe that's what most of us need....a gentle tap on the brakes to break the cycle. It's okay for you to want more out of life. It's alright for you to want to slow down and take in the scenery. It's time for you to regain control of your life and operate accordingly. You think that by braking, you might miss something and will mess up the flow of traffic. But the truth is, you're probably headed for a crash or burn out because you've been lulled to sleep by operating on cruise control. You're only doing it because you are afraid to drive purposely again. In fact, you've been operating like this for so long that you are now fearful of braking and breaking the cycle. It's time to make a change.
When you signal that you are changing lanes and moving, it also serves as a wake up call to the people around you to be more alert. Don't be lulled by the status quo, the normalcy or the expectation of reaching your destination at a certain time. Take charge and tap the brakes! Slow down, be deliberate, be contemplative, be mindful and operate with intention, purpose and passion. You don't want to miss this particular rest stop exit because the next one might not come for several miles. Don't cheat yourself by going with the flow. You're destiny is waiting for you! Your intended purpose is coming up ahead. Your life's work is calling your name just around the bend, so prepare to exit the busy highway and regain control of your life. In this instance, cruise control is NOT your friend. Grab the steering wheel, tap the brakes and regain complete control of your car and signal for the next exit. Your life depends on it! The future of your family is wrapped up in it! Your peace of mind is inextricably bound to it!
Now tap it out...
Monday, October 22, 2018
Wednesday, October 10, 2018
Fearless is more than my "one word"; it's a journey.
I may have mentioned previously that FEARLESS is my word for 2018. And Baby when I say that God has been giving me so many opportunities to practice using this word. I'm being stretched, but not to the point that it hurts though. I'm being stretched, muscles lengthened and I'm learning how to breathe in all situations, just like yoga. It's a slow steady stretching in my mind and in my heart. I am learning to hear my own voice and not the voices of others who have good intentions, but don't know what God said to me.
I am excited because I'm beginning to trust ME! How can I solely rely on others who have never done what I'm thinking about, but have an opinion as to how I might execute? In all honesty, it's not really about what others have said, it's more about the little voice that plays in my head that projects my own insecurities onto the situation. They NEVER said that I couldn't do it or won't achieve it, but that voice of #littlemissinsecure has a funny way of showing up, which makes me talk myself out of the situation, based on the idea of what someone else might say. Isn't that the dumbest thing you've ever heard? Just foolishness! (Afraid of a might....HA!)
You're shaking your head because you know what I'm talking about!!! You've been afraid to move because you're waiting for "all the stars to line up" or waiting to "get all your ducks in a row". Well SugarPlum....it's time to let that mess go. I'm about to share an excerpt of my sermon that I preached 3 weeks ago. Here it goes...
I am excited because I'm beginning to trust ME! How can I solely rely on others who have never done what I'm thinking about, but have an opinion as to how I might execute? In all honesty, it's not really about what others have said, it's more about the little voice that plays in my head that projects my own insecurities onto the situation. They NEVER said that I couldn't do it or won't achieve it, but that voice of #littlemissinsecure has a funny way of showing up, which makes me talk myself out of the situation, based on the idea of what someone else might say. Isn't that the dumbest thing you've ever heard? Just foolishness! (Afraid of a might....HA!)
You're shaking your head because you know what I'm talking about!!! You've been afraid to move because you're waiting for "all the stars to line up" or waiting to "get all your ducks in a row". Well SugarPlum....it's time to let that mess go. I'm about to share an excerpt of my sermon that I preached 3 weeks ago. Here it goes...
~We’ve
been stuck in a precarious situation because we expected someone else to get
something accomplished for us.
~We
have been caught waiting on a person to act, when we carry the responsibility
to do it ourselves.
~We
have been left on the side of the road, watching others pass us by because we
weren’t prepared to go any further.
Not prepared to write the book…waiting
on someone else
Not prepared to start that
business…waiting on someone else
Not enjoying your single life… waiting
on someone else
Not experiencing joy in your marriage…
waiting on someone else
Not applying for a new position, when
you know you hate the job… waiting on someone else
Not going back to school to finish your
degree… waiting on someone else
Sitting on the side lines complaining, & not jumping in the arena….waiting on someone else
Not ready to market your own ideas…
waiting on someone else
Someone
else to make us happy
Someone
else to bring us joy
Someone
else to help us out of our financial
situation
Someone
else to raise how kids
Someone
else to motivate us
Someone
else to cheer us to greatness
Someone
else to drop everything to tend to our
needs
Honey,
there is no “someone else”…GOD IS WAITING ON YOU!
(GOD IS WAITING ON ME)
(GOD IS WAITING ON ME)
God is so funny, because I really thought I was given that word to bless the people, but I was really preaching to myself the entire time. When I went back and listened to the sermon on Youtube, I realized that I was preaching myself into a frenzy, speaking my way into my NEXT and preparing myself to walk through the many doors that God has with MY name on it. God be praised!
I am really learning to trust God with whatever is to come next. I'm not rushing anything or trying to please anyone. I simply want to move and watch God unfold the path direction with every step that I take, without even knowing where the step is. (I'm envisioning Micheal Jackson in The Wiz, when he is traversing the yellow brick road and the cobblestone blocks light up as he steps on them.) Yeah, just like that!
The path won't light up unless YOU MOVE. The path won't light up unless I MOVE! Let me just sprinkle a little word on it.....Joshua 1:3 says "EVERY place that the sole of your foot will tread upon I have given you, as I said to Moses". Or like Martin would say, while stomping his feet around in a circular pattern, "GET TO STEPPIN' ". (Y'all sometimes I crack myself up. Ha!)
Anyway, let's go through this season of shifting and just be FEARLESS. Your knees might be knocking as you move, but do it anyway afraid and watch God translate that into Fearlessness. Let's stay committed to the process as we advance for the Kingdom. God will get the glory and he'll just give us the opportunity to tell the story. I'm excited, aren't you?!
So get to stepping and "Walk it Out"..........God's been waiting on you!
Thursday, August 23, 2018
Right where He wants me
Have you ever been somewhere and had no idea why you were there, other than the fact that you believe God intended for you to be there?
That's where I am right now. I'm here, in a place where I am currently anonymous, yet God knows my story and has set me apart. I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.
Strange.
I didn't fully prepare to be in this space, but I feel like I'm sitting at the precipice of a breakthrough, in spite of me.
My job is simply to be open. Open to the idea that God wants to blow my mind. I will not allow my fears to block what God has in store for me.
Ready.
Willing.
Open.
Now I must...walk it out....
That's where I am right now. I'm here, in a place where I am currently anonymous, yet God knows my story and has set me apart. I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.
Strange.
I didn't fully prepare to be in this space, but I feel like I'm sitting at the precipice of a breakthrough, in spite of me.
My job is simply to be open. Open to the idea that God wants to blow my mind. I will not allow my fears to block what God has in store for me.
Ready.
Willing.
Open.
Now I must...walk it out....
Tuesday, July 10, 2018
We should be there, but WE'RE NOT!
They said that you should never post vacation pictures when you're out of town. Well this doesn't count, because WE'RE NOT THERE!
I woke up Monday morning at 5 am to cook macaroni & cheese, fettuccine alfredo, steamed jasmine rice, sautéed sausage & onions and steaks for the boys to keep in the fridge as Byron and I would prepare to go on our wedding anniversary trip to Cancun Mexico.
Back story:
Byron and I will be married 21 years on Thursday, July 12th. We decided to go out of the country this year, so when we found an all inclusive adults only resort we were so ready to begin vacation. We found a deal through a 3rd party, but it wasn't the room that we wanted. We had fallen in love with a 2-floor casita with it's own plunge pool overlooking the beach. The 3rd party website only offered a junior suite at the time, so after reading all of the reviews online, we decided to ask for an upgrade once we arrived.
We did our final running around Monday morning and then headed out to the airport. The flight was supposed to be about an 1.5 hours to Houston, a short layover, then another 1.5 hours to Cancun. Although the flight was full, we had an empty seat between us and slept and watched movies while onboard. The pilot mentioned weather issues in Houston, so told us to remain seated and buckle up. "Ladies and gentlemen, it's going to be a bumpy descent into Houston". No big thing... we've been here before...we could feel the deceleration of the plane, then all of a sudden I noticed we were pulling back up into the sky. The pilot didn't say anything right away, so I just assumed he was going to circle the airport and try again. After 10 minutes, the pilot came back on the air and informed us that we were headed to Austin. The weather was too much for him to make the landing in Houston. Okay, no worries...we'll be back in no time. Besides we had at least a 1.5 hour layover anyway so we had a little time to spare before we could make our connecting flight.
So we land in Austin, in a remote part of the airport, to sit on the tarmac for at least an hour. People were allowed to get up to use the restroom, so the aisles were FULL of people standing in line. The food service had been cut mid-flight due to the bumpy ride, so now people were hungry. They flight attendants gave it to the 1st row and the passengers began passing bags of peanuts & pretzels row by row. It was hilarious! We were able to bear it because we believed at any given moment, we'd be heading back to Houston. I wasn't too worried, because we learned that our connecting flight was also delayed. Cancun, here we come!
Austin was the final destination for 1/8 of the plane. The pilot came on again and said that if a gate opened, he had been given permission to let those individuals off. (Their bags would come later.) So we moved to an open gate, let the Austin passengers off and sat another hour at the gate. They had to do another head count and then told us to get off the plane to stretch and get something to eat. WAIT...WHAT?! I'm ready to get back to Houston, so we can be on our way to CANCUN. After almost 2 hours in the terminal, they were finally ready for us to get back to Houston. GREAT, only that the flight to Cancun just landed at a little after 6 pm... WITHOUT US. My heart aches! We missed our connecting flight.
55 minutes later we pull up to Houston and get off to find out that the airline had already booked us for the a 3pm flight the next day. (Hmmm let's see...our 5 day, 4 night resort stay would now end up being a 2 1/2 day stay.) Because it was weather related, the airline couldn't pay for our hotel; however, they did call around for us to receive the "distress rate". Byron is sick at this point and I am barely holding on but we had to make some calls and decisions.
1st praise report:
The 3rd party called the resort for us and they decided to allow us to re-book the trip for another week without losing anything. In fact, future dates would be cheaper and we would be able to get the 2-floor casita with it's own plunge pool overlooking the beach. WON'T HE DO IT?!
Byron and I decided to stay in Houston for another night just to get some rest and recoup the day. I called the airline and was on the phone for 56 minutes before we were disconnected. Nooooo.... I thought I was going to lose my mind. The agent called me back in 15 minutes and I just broke down in tears.
Praise report #2:
They refunded our entire flight and will send two $100 vouchers for a future trip; we just had to purchase last minute tickets to get back to OKC. It worked itself out. (No pardon me....the Lord worked it out!)
Once all of that was done, we went for a swim ( I now have a small tan...it doesn't take much.) and now we're resting until we fly back home tomorrow. It's not Cancun, but we learned a whole lot about patience and trusting God in the process. The last 2 days have been a lot, but God is faithful!
So even when the situation looks HOPELESS keep your head about you and trust God. We sang this song on Sunday:
"I'm expecting great things, I'm expecting great things, I'm epecting great things....great things.
In my life, you do great things
In my home, you do great things
All around, you do great things
Eyes have not seen, but I choose to believe in great things."
I sang it and declared it before I knew we would have this crazy experience...and great things came to pass. I encourage you to get a song in your heart, sing it to the heavens, believe God...
...now walk it out.
Back story:
Byron and I will be married 21 years on Thursday, July 12th. We decided to go out of the country this year, so when we found an all inclusive adults only resort we were so ready to begin vacation. We found a deal through a 3rd party, but it wasn't the room that we wanted. We had fallen in love with a 2-floor casita with it's own plunge pool overlooking the beach. The 3rd party website only offered a junior suite at the time, so after reading all of the reviews online, we decided to ask for an upgrade once we arrived.
We did our final running around Monday morning and then headed out to the airport. The flight was supposed to be about an 1.5 hours to Houston, a short layover, then another 1.5 hours to Cancun. Although the flight was full, we had an empty seat between us and slept and watched movies while onboard. The pilot mentioned weather issues in Houston, so told us to remain seated and buckle up. "Ladies and gentlemen, it's going to be a bumpy descent into Houston". No big thing... we've been here before...we could feel the deceleration of the plane, then all of a sudden I noticed we were pulling back up into the sky. The pilot didn't say anything right away, so I just assumed he was going to circle the airport and try again. After 10 minutes, the pilot came back on the air and informed us that we were headed to Austin. The weather was too much for him to make the landing in Houston. Okay, no worries...we'll be back in no time. Besides we had at least a 1.5 hour layover anyway so we had a little time to spare before we could make our connecting flight.
So we land in Austin, in a remote part of the airport, to sit on the tarmac for at least an hour. People were allowed to get up to use the restroom, so the aisles were FULL of people standing in line. The food service had been cut mid-flight due to the bumpy ride, so now people were hungry. They flight attendants gave it to the 1st row and the passengers began passing bags of peanuts & pretzels row by row. It was hilarious! We were able to bear it because we believed at any given moment, we'd be heading back to Houston. I wasn't too worried, because we learned that our connecting flight was also delayed. Cancun, here we come!
Austin was the final destination for 1/8 of the plane. The pilot came on again and said that if a gate opened, he had been given permission to let those individuals off. (Their bags would come later.) So we moved to an open gate, let the Austin passengers off and sat another hour at the gate. They had to do another head count and then told us to get off the plane to stretch and get something to eat. WAIT...WHAT?! I'm ready to get back to Houston, so we can be on our way to CANCUN. After almost 2 hours in the terminal, they were finally ready for us to get back to Houston. GREAT, only that the flight to Cancun just landed at a little after 6 pm... WITHOUT US. My heart aches! We missed our connecting flight.
55 minutes later we pull up to Houston and get off to find out that the airline had already booked us for the a 3pm flight the next day. (Hmmm let's see...our 5 day, 4 night resort stay would now end up being a 2 1/2 day stay.) Because it was weather related, the airline couldn't pay for our hotel; however, they did call around for us to receive the "distress rate". Byron is sick at this point and I am barely holding on but we had to make some calls and decisions.
1st praise report:
The 3rd party called the resort for us and they decided to allow us to re-book the trip for another week without losing anything. In fact, future dates would be cheaper and we would be able to get the 2-floor casita with it's own plunge pool overlooking the beach. WON'T HE DO IT?!
Byron and I decided to stay in Houston for another night just to get some rest and recoup the day. I called the airline and was on the phone for 56 minutes before we were disconnected. Nooooo.... I thought I was going to lose my mind. The agent called me back in 15 minutes and I just broke down in tears.
Praise report #2:
They refunded our entire flight and will send two $100 vouchers for a future trip; we just had to purchase last minute tickets to get back to OKC. It worked itself out. (No pardon me....the Lord worked it out!)
Once all of that was done, we went for a swim ( I now have a small tan...it doesn't take much.) and now we're resting until we fly back home tomorrow. It's not Cancun, but we learned a whole lot about patience and trusting God in the process. The last 2 days have been a lot, but God is faithful!
So even when the situation looks HOPELESS keep your head about you and trust God. We sang this song on Sunday:
"I'm expecting great things, I'm expecting great things, I'm epecting great things....great things.
In my life, you do great things
In my home, you do great things
All around, you do great things
Eyes have not seen, but I choose to believe in great things."
I sang it and declared it before I knew we would have this crazy experience...and great things came to pass. I encourage you to get a song in your heart, sing it to the heavens, believe God...
...now walk it out.
Friday, June 22, 2018
The 11th Day
This has been an amazing 10-day journey. At times, I wanted to cuss some folks out and
at other times I wanted to be coddled. I
didn’t have many cravings, but at times I just wanted to sleep and be alone
because I couldn’t explain what was going on internally. Not only could I sense my body making
changes, but I felt the aching in my
brain as I warred with myself. Remember,
I said from the very beginning that I wasn’t doing the cleanse to just lose
weight, but rather I was doing it to jumpstart some things in my life. The cleanse promised a jump-start of 10- 15
pounds if you followed the complete version and then the goal is to modify it
and lose 1- 2 lbs per week.
On Day 1, I weighed in at 216. 4 lbs. This morning, Day 11, after much prayer and determination, I weighed in at ......drumroll please.....201 lbs. That's a total of 15. 4 lbs lost. I'm grateful! I needed to see the drastic change to encourage myself to reach higher and farther.
So let me turn and encourage you....you are stronger than you can even imagine right now. Don't allow your past mistakes and failures keep you from reaching forward. (Remember I tried this a few years ago and quit on day 5.)
Allow yourself to feel the hurt, the frustration, the weariness and move past it! You can do this!
So be encouraged and walk it out.....
Here are a few things I learned:
- I am stronger than I actually thought.
- Carrots are actually sweeter than a candy bar and they have a great crunch (great, if you need texture).
- When you make up your mind to do something, stick to it. Don’t allow outside forces to deter you from your goal. Heck, don’t allow internal forces to deter you either. About the 8th day when I was ready to give it up, I had to quiet the voices in my head that said, “Girl, you’re good… you lasted this long…it will be okay if you just stop…you already feel better anyway”.
- I realized that I am the sole person responsible for my happiness. So many times we place unfair expectations on others to love us, encourage us, make us feel important or special. But that is just wrong! You’ve got to love yourself first, be your own personal cheerleader and do things for you that make YOU happy. When you are joyful, the law of attraction will bring joy to you. It’s not about loving yourself because someone else is not doing it, but rather it’s loving yourself because you are worthy of self-love.
- Fasting puts you in tune with your body and your spirit, if you allow it. There is something that happens when you have to pray and ask for God’s help. HELP ME LORD… I WANT TO EAT THAT MAC & CHEESE THAT I JUST COOKED FOR MY FAMILY! (that was day 6, Father's day)
- It doesn't take a crowd! I mentioned, in the beginning, that I didn't tell a bunch of girlfriends to join me because I wanted to learn to cheer for myself. Don't get me wrong, sometimes you definitely need accountability partners to keep you motivated but there comes a time when it's just you and God and y'all need to be in conversation together. ( I am grateful for my morning gym buddy to help keep my body moving, but I wasn't going to ask her to join me on the cleanse.)
- Now that I've seen results, I want to continue making healthy choices. It won't be as extreme as the 10-day cleanse but it will still involve at least one green smoothie a day. (Well the next 3-4 days I'll have to be Jesus Junior anyway, so as not to feel sick and bloated. That would kinda defeat the purpose.)
- This cleanse was a testament to myself that now I can begin accomplishing some of those other goals that I have: beginning that next book, clearing up my credit, etc... There ae so many other things that I must leave unstated, because I don't know what God has in store for me next. As I continue to be available to Him, I know that He is going to have me doing some amazing things. (Actually He's probably been waiting for me to get myself together anyway. Ha!)
On Day 1, I weighed in at 216. 4 lbs. This morning, Day 11, after much prayer and determination, I weighed in at ......drumroll please.....201 lbs. That's a total of 15. 4 lbs lost. I'm grateful! I needed to see the drastic change to encourage myself to reach higher and farther.
So let me turn and encourage you....you are stronger than you can even imagine right now. Don't allow your past mistakes and failures keep you from reaching forward. (Remember I tried this a few years ago and quit on day 5.)
Allow yourself to feel the hurt, the frustration, the weariness and move past it! You can do this!
So be encouraged and walk it out.....
Thursday, June 21, 2018
NOW WHAT?!- Day 9 of 10
Today, I found myself in a weird space.
It's the end of day 9 and I have done extremely well. ( I tried to write earlier in the day as I was working through some feeling and emotions.) I really am proud of myself for sticking it out. But when I tell you that I thought about just forgetting the whole thing today. The cravings that I didn't have in the beginning, I had them on Day 9. Like, who does that?
I found myself talking myself off of the ledge saying, "come on Sharri, just get through today and tomorrow". I wasn't sad or happy, but it seemed as if my mind was playing tricks on me. I was congratulating myself privately, while this question simultaneously occupied my brain..."NOW WHAT?". I know there are ways to gradually return to solid foods, so as not to eat too much of the wrong thing that would defeat this entire 10-day journey. But I recognize that there are other emotions that I will gradually need to work through, which may take a little more time.
My body feels different. No I haven't stepped on a scale yet, but the touch of my skin has changed and my stomach appears flatter (bloating gone). But something else feels different too. This cleanse has conjured some thoughts and emotions that I suppose have been hidden. Some beliefs that I have concerning myself and others have taken center stage. I guess I hadn't been "still" long enough to tap into these emotions; but now they're here and I'm saying 'now what?'.
For me this cleanse was less about losing weight, but more about me gaining control over my eating habits, being mindful about what I was putting into my body and allowing to enter my spirit. These last 9 days have not only affected my physicality, but my spirit is more open. Not open to others, but open and vulnerable to my own truth. Oftentimes, I think we spend so much time doing, doing, doing that we lose sight of what it means to authentically BE.
Being happy in your skin.
Being happy with your thoughts.
Being truthful with how you feel.
Being open to the possibility that life has so much more to offer.
Being cognizant of the fact that there is more inside that still needs to be nurtured.
Being aware of who and what you allow to share the same space.
Being okay, with not being okay. Simply asking yourself the question "what comes next?" And feeling confident even when you can't answer the question right away.
Hopefully, day 10 will afford me the time to really tap into this question and find the answer(s) that will soothe my soul.
This is a total makeover: mind, body and soul and I'm interested in learning more about what it will take to feed every aspect of my appetite.
Don't be afraid to ask yourself the hard questions and be kind as you search and uncover the answers.
Now walk it out...
It's the end of day 9 and I have done extremely well. ( I tried to write earlier in the day as I was working through some feeling and emotions.) I really am proud of myself for sticking it out. But when I tell you that I thought about just forgetting the whole thing today. The cravings that I didn't have in the beginning, I had them on Day 9. Like, who does that?
I found myself talking myself off of the ledge saying, "come on Sharri, just get through today and tomorrow". I wasn't sad or happy, but it seemed as if my mind was playing tricks on me. I was congratulating myself privately, while this question simultaneously occupied my brain..."NOW WHAT?". I know there are ways to gradually return to solid foods, so as not to eat too much of the wrong thing that would defeat this entire 10-day journey. But I recognize that there are other emotions that I will gradually need to work through, which may take a little more time.
My body feels different. No I haven't stepped on a scale yet, but the touch of my skin has changed and my stomach appears flatter (bloating gone). But something else feels different too. This cleanse has conjured some thoughts and emotions that I suppose have been hidden. Some beliefs that I have concerning myself and others have taken center stage. I guess I hadn't been "still" long enough to tap into these emotions; but now they're here and I'm saying 'now what?'.
For me this cleanse was less about losing weight, but more about me gaining control over my eating habits, being mindful about what I was putting into my body and allowing to enter my spirit. These last 9 days have not only affected my physicality, but my spirit is more open. Not open to others, but open and vulnerable to my own truth. Oftentimes, I think we spend so much time doing, doing, doing that we lose sight of what it means to authentically BE.
Being happy in your skin.
Being happy with your thoughts.
Being truthful with how you feel.
Being open to the possibility that life has so much more to offer.
Being cognizant of the fact that there is more inside that still needs to be nurtured.
Being aware of who and what you allow to share the same space.
Being okay, with not being okay. Simply asking yourself the question "what comes next?" And feeling confident even when you can't answer the question right away.
Hopefully, day 10 will afford me the time to really tap into this question and find the answer(s) that will soothe my soul.
This is a total makeover: mind, body and soul and I'm interested in learning more about what it will take to feed every aspect of my appetite.
Don't be afraid to ask yourself the hard questions and be kind as you search and uncover the answers.
Now walk it out...
Sunday, June 17, 2018
From Pissed to Praying to Pooping
Well hello there....I'm sure that title just grabbed your attention. Ha! ( I love what I do.)
As a physician, I consider many of the regular bodily functions that people seem to be so sensitive about as a beautiful part of the human experience. Anatomy and physiology at work. It's just wonderful. Soooooo today we're going to talk about bowel movements. What in the world?! Sit tight....there's redemption at the end.
As you know I began my 10-day green smoothie cleanse this week....today I am on Day 6. One of the things that the cleanse is supposed to do is help you detox your body via the urine or the feces. (calm down people....it's normal...you do it everyday...hopefully) Anyway, before the cleanse I detoxed regularly/daily. I'd never really had a problem with getting rid of the days intestinal byproducts; however, when I began the cleanse...it stopped. That was strange to me! I figured if I was getting all of the nutrients that my body needed, then I should be able to expel without any issues. In the book it mentions "normal" while on the cleanse could be from 1 to 3 times a day. Well Day 3 showed some promise, but not like my usual. By day 4, I was typing my concerns in the '10-day Green Smoothie cleanse FB group' asking for help. Well the book, by JJ Smith, already mentions natural laxatives. So I decided to try the sea salt drink (basically Epsom salt) the morning of Day 5, but nothing happened except me burping a little. Then someone responded that I should be sure that I'm drinking half my body weight in water. ( I wan't doing that.) So I decided definitely to increase my water intake for the day.
Okay, so put a pin there....let me go all the way back to the beginning!
On the 1st day of the cleanse, my husband said that he was going to join me. From the outset, I knew this was a bad idea! This time around I'd decided that I was showing up for ME. I couldn't be his cheerleader when I was struggling myself. We went to a salad bar for lunch and I actually only had my shake and ate boiled eggs and raw carrots off the bar.
I must admit though that I was immediately pissed! I was mad at myself for wanting him to join me to my level of expectation. I got mad at him for not trying hard enough, although I should have understood that he was actually trying to encourage me by joining me on the journey.
On day 3 while I was cooking and smelling my delicious caribbean jerk rice and beans, I drank my smoothie and didn't sample the food at all. (I used Chandler as my food taster and it was good to go.) I was so afraid that if I had allowed the slightest food to get acquainted with my taste buds, I'd be quickly swept into the modified version. I was so proud of myself, but I didn't realize that I was beginning to resent my husband. I wanted him to be strong enough for both of us when it was my time to be strong for myself. No excuses!
Y'all I was going in on him (in my head...never verbalized) But as many of you know, the conversations in your head are the WORST and they are extremely TOXIC! When you thnk negatively towards someone else, you are actually poisoning your body.
Day 5, yesterday, as I rose early to do laundry, I took the saltwater laxative and only burped. But during the day the Lord reminded me that I said that I was doing this cleanse for MYSELF. So God was like, why are you tripping over your husband? Why not pray for him? Free that man from your unproductive thoughts. So he and I visited a member in the hospital; I shopped for Father's day with the boys; and decided that I was going to make a happy Sunday meal with ox tails, mac & cheese and sauteed broccoli and onions. As the day progressed my emotions changed and the tone of my voice was getting better. ( When I tell you I was being short and tight-lipped previously....I'm serious. Ugh! I'm almost embarrassed to admit it.) That afternoon we attended a healthy luncheon and I carried my green smoothie with me. I was shocked at my discipline, although the little dessert cup had me thinking really hard. Ha! I continued in prayer and began cooking last night. My heart was melting towards my husband because I was shifting my focus. This was never about him, this was about my growth.
Instead of berating him for not doing what i was doing (Remember this wasn't his idea anyway.) I began to pray "Lord thank you because he's an amazing man and I want him to be here for our children. Help me to get myself together so I can be his cheerleader later".
As he worked on his sermon last night, I tried to be helpful and ask if he needed anything. When I finally went to bed, I had a clear conscience. No more mean thoughts, just utterances of prayer and thanksgiving.
Well this morning, Day 6, after checking the oxtails in the crock pot, I felt a rumbling in my tummy. I was so excited to leave the kitchen and sojourn into the bathroom. Deliverance had come!
And about 20 minutes later, God had a double portion blessing and I was back in the bathroom. Ha! Come on and tell the Lord THANKYA!
As I stood in the shower, the revelation came.
'Not only were your bowels locked up, but your spirit was clogged because you were holding Byron hostage. Instead of focusing on what you were doing right, you were being sucked into finding everything that he was doing wrong ( in your eyes anyway). Just as constipation can poison your body, you were poisoning your spirit by not letting him go and releasing him from your negative thoughts. Though you never mumbled a word, your spirit was clashing with his and you were being drawn away from him.'
Okay God so you are saying that I couldn't get a natural breakthrough until I increased my water intake and allowed your Holy Spirit to flow through me for a spiritual breakthrough.
Many of us are sick in our bodies, NOT because of disease but because of our unwillingness to forgive and let people go. When we hold people hostage with un-forgiveness and bitterness, we are actually creating toxins that are building up in our bodies, which will only harm us. That pain that keeps creeping up in your body, might be the result of holding a grudge. That sore that won't heal might be the result of you bringing up hurtful things over and over again to tear another individual down. Simply put....you can't start pooping until you're willing to start praying! Even if the situation hasn't changed, begin to believe God that it will change. Begin speaking life and stop throwing darts. Ask God to give you a heart of compassion and turn in your handbag of rocks that you've been hurling at folks. Check your bowels and check your spirit. Are they free and clear? Clear of toxins? Clear of strife? Clear of negativity? When you increase your fluid intake and begin to pray, you will rid yourself of the buildup of toxins. Your body will respond accordingly and begin to heal itself.
So go ahead...if you need to be free... take a mild laxative...increase your water (Holy spirit) and begin to pray and .......you, too, can go from being pissed to praying and eventually pooping.
Now head towards the bathroom and walk it out...
As a physician, I consider many of the regular bodily functions that people seem to be so sensitive about as a beautiful part of the human experience. Anatomy and physiology at work. It's just wonderful. Soooooo today we're going to talk about bowel movements. What in the world?! Sit tight....there's redemption at the end.
As you know I began my 10-day green smoothie cleanse this week....today I am on Day 6. One of the things that the cleanse is supposed to do is help you detox your body via the urine or the feces. (calm down people....it's normal...you do it everyday...hopefully) Anyway, before the cleanse I detoxed regularly/daily. I'd never really had a problem with getting rid of the days intestinal byproducts; however, when I began the cleanse...it stopped. That was strange to me! I figured if I was getting all of the nutrients that my body needed, then I should be able to expel without any issues. In the book it mentions "normal" while on the cleanse could be from 1 to 3 times a day. Well Day 3 showed some promise, but not like my usual. By day 4, I was typing my concerns in the '10-day Green Smoothie cleanse FB group' asking for help. Well the book, by JJ Smith, already mentions natural laxatives. So I decided to try the sea salt drink (basically Epsom salt) the morning of Day 5, but nothing happened except me burping a little. Then someone responded that I should be sure that I'm drinking half my body weight in water. ( I wan't doing that.) So I decided definitely to increase my water intake for the day.
Okay, so put a pin there....let me go all the way back to the beginning!
On the 1st day of the cleanse, my husband said that he was going to join me. From the outset, I knew this was a bad idea! This time around I'd decided that I was showing up for ME. I couldn't be his cheerleader when I was struggling myself. We went to a salad bar for lunch and I actually only had my shake and ate boiled eggs and raw carrots off the bar.
I must admit though that I was immediately pissed! I was mad at myself for wanting him to join me to my level of expectation. I got mad at him for not trying hard enough, although I should have understood that he was actually trying to encourage me by joining me on the journey.
On day 3 while I was cooking and smelling my delicious caribbean jerk rice and beans, I drank my smoothie and didn't sample the food at all. (I used Chandler as my food taster and it was good to go.) I was so afraid that if I had allowed the slightest food to get acquainted with my taste buds, I'd be quickly swept into the modified version. I was so proud of myself, but I didn't realize that I was beginning to resent my husband. I wanted him to be strong enough for both of us when it was my time to be strong for myself. No excuses!
Y'all I was going in on him (in my head...never verbalized) But as many of you know, the conversations in your head are the WORST and they are extremely TOXIC! When you thnk negatively towards someone else, you are actually poisoning your body.
Day 5, yesterday, as I rose early to do laundry, I took the saltwater laxative and only burped. But during the day the Lord reminded me that I said that I was doing this cleanse for MYSELF. So God was like, why are you tripping over your husband? Why not pray for him? Free that man from your unproductive thoughts. So he and I visited a member in the hospital; I shopped for Father's day with the boys; and decided that I was going to make a happy Sunday meal with ox tails, mac & cheese and sauteed broccoli and onions. As the day progressed my emotions changed and the tone of my voice was getting better. ( When I tell you I was being short and tight-lipped previously....I'm serious. Ugh! I'm almost embarrassed to admit it.) That afternoon we attended a healthy luncheon and I carried my green smoothie with me. I was shocked at my discipline, although the little dessert cup had me thinking really hard. Ha! I continued in prayer and began cooking last night. My heart was melting towards my husband because I was shifting my focus. This was never about him, this was about my growth.
Instead of berating him for not doing what i was doing (Remember this wasn't his idea anyway.) I began to pray "Lord thank you because he's an amazing man and I want him to be here for our children. Help me to get myself together so I can be his cheerleader later".
As he worked on his sermon last night, I tried to be helpful and ask if he needed anything. When I finally went to bed, I had a clear conscience. No more mean thoughts, just utterances of prayer and thanksgiving.
Well this morning, Day 6, after checking the oxtails in the crock pot, I felt a rumbling in my tummy. I was so excited to leave the kitchen and sojourn into the bathroom. Deliverance had come!
And about 20 minutes later, God had a double portion blessing and I was back in the bathroom. Ha! Come on and tell the Lord THANKYA!
As I stood in the shower, the revelation came.
'Not only were your bowels locked up, but your spirit was clogged because you were holding Byron hostage. Instead of focusing on what you were doing right, you were being sucked into finding everything that he was doing wrong ( in your eyes anyway). Just as constipation can poison your body, you were poisoning your spirit by not letting him go and releasing him from your negative thoughts. Though you never mumbled a word, your spirit was clashing with his and you were being drawn away from him.'
Okay God so you are saying that I couldn't get a natural breakthrough until I increased my water intake and allowed your Holy Spirit to flow through me for a spiritual breakthrough.
Many of us are sick in our bodies, NOT because of disease but because of our unwillingness to forgive and let people go. When we hold people hostage with un-forgiveness and bitterness, we are actually creating toxins that are building up in our bodies, which will only harm us. That pain that keeps creeping up in your body, might be the result of holding a grudge. That sore that won't heal might be the result of you bringing up hurtful things over and over again to tear another individual down. Simply put....you can't start pooping until you're willing to start praying! Even if the situation hasn't changed, begin to believe God that it will change. Begin speaking life and stop throwing darts. Ask God to give you a heart of compassion and turn in your handbag of rocks that you've been hurling at folks. Check your bowels and check your spirit. Are they free and clear? Clear of toxins? Clear of strife? Clear of negativity? When you increase your fluid intake and begin to pray, you will rid yourself of the buildup of toxins. Your body will respond accordingly and begin to heal itself.
So go ahead...if you need to be free... take a mild laxative...increase your water (Holy spirit) and begin to pray and .......you, too, can go from being pissed to praying and eventually pooping.
Now head towards the bathroom and walk it out...
Thursday, June 14, 2018
Day 3 of 10- CHECK YOUR INPUT
Did I mention that I do EVERYTHING for EVERYONE?
I must confess that I am a busy body. I like to see things done and I want them to be done well. Sometimes I can teach you and coach you through it; but then there are other times when no one else is available and I have to do it myself. Because I've done it once, the next time when that situation rolls around, I just handle it without looking for a relief person. I've got to get better at delegating responsibilities. Ha!
I'm on Day 3 of the Cleanse and I have been reflective and open to hearing God's voice for the past 2 days. I'm reading a book by Austin Channing Brown, "I'm Still Here Black Dignity in a World made for Whiteness". When I say it is FIYAH....I mean it will set you ablaze when she talks about how black women have to navigate white spaces. It is so good..... that I talked to both Chandler and Courtland this morning and told them that I will download it on their Nook. It speaks to both their private and public educational experiences. As they are growing up in a world that oftentimes demonizes black men, I want them to have the language to express and the capability to navigate the many all- white spaces in which they will find themselves. Did I say it is FIYAH? But something else spoke to me while reading this book.
I have a preacher friend in Memphis who messages me periodically about answering "the call". She and I had the opportunity to minister at a women's conference in Canada a few years ago. I was the only one out of the facilitators who was not a licensed preacher. Oh she messed with me something terrible! I told her that I KNOW that I've been called by God, but maybe just not to preach. (insert her pursed lips and rolling of the eyes) And just 2 years ago, another preacher friend, this one from New York, told me to stop saying what God hasn't done and just be open to what God wants to do through me. Okay, okay.....I'm still not thinking that I will go the traditional route, but I am very aware of God's power and His ability to use me in whatever arena I may find myself. Whether I am standing behind a church podium, a college lecture hall, a coffee shop or out working in the community, I am answering " the call" to be God's mouthpiece and the extension of his loving arms at the moment. Wherever God sends me, I can weave my blackness and my spirituality into one and speak truth to power to liberate others.
All of that was good, but it was not the revelation that God gave me to share. So here it goes...
The Lord showed me this about 3 am. Last night during Bible Study, after opening with a worship song, I had to run to the balcony and run the sound board and start the broadcast for the YouTube Livestream so we could capture Byron's teaching. Last week I had done the same thing, with Chandler's help, but he was working last night so I was on my own. I called one of our audio ministry workers (CM) for help because last week we didn't have sound and I wanted to make sure that I had it right this week. Everything was plugged in, the camera was set, the OBS (btw, I have no idea what that stands for) and YouTube windows were open and when I hit the "start streaming" I received an error message. Something about the server! CM took me through several options, by closing the program and reopening it and going directly to advanced settings; checking the IP address and hitting "start streaming". NOTHING but the same error message. Ugh! Meanwhile I'm missing the beginning of Byron's teaching and getting frustrated. I told CM nevermind...we'lll figure it out for next week. He hung up, but I couldn't let it go...
I shut down the program again and restarted it. This time I went to advanced settings and instead of keeping the named IP address, there was a drop down window with other options, one that said 'default'. Default for computers means 'a selection automatically used by a program in the absence of a choice made by the user'. As soon as I chose the default option and hit the "start streaming" button, it actually STARTED STREAMING. You don't say! I called CM back, he laughed and then said "I see it, but I still don't hear sound on my end". You have got to be kidding me!!!
Then he and I began going through audio options. He directed me to the sound board to go to the lapel mic channel AUX 6 and turn the knob. NOTHING! Then we tried AUX 6, 7, and 8...still NOTHING. We tried the handlheld mic channel to mirror the lapel mic channel...AUX 6,7 and 8. STILL NOTHING! Then he asked me a simple question...
A question that would change my life forever. A question that God revealed to me at 3am was what was holding me back and keeping me hostage. CM asked, "do you have it plugged into the correct input?" I replied, "I'm not sure, it's plugged into Input 1". To which he corrected and told me that Input 2 is where my cable needed to be plugged.
Well can you tell me what happened next? Come on people...I know you're pretty smart.
When I changed the input, the audio was immediately restored to the live YouTube feed. Someone who was trying to watch online, had left a message in the news feed. Once it was up and running, I replied " Sorry for the delay. the sound has been restored" and Bible study continued without a hitch.
But what was the word that God had for me?
God showed me that there are people waiting for you and I to be plugged in to the correct source.
They can't receive the message that God has for them, if we are not plugged in correctly which would allow the message to flow through. So many of us have been living life by default. We were raised in church, know the church lingo, love God, have examples of God-fearing workers, sing in the choir, usher in the usher ministry, part of the outreach team, work in the community and the list goes on. By default, we have picked up and been in environments that show us to be "good" people. But GOD says there needs to be more. We've been getting by with the default programming, but the message is still not being heard because we are not plugged into the correct input. The form of godliness is there, but it isn't until you look closer that you realize the input is wrong. MY GOD! God is saying to me that I can't just rest on my laurels and my history with God (my default system) and expect God to be heard through me. I've got to look a little closer to him to make certain that I'm connected in HIM and not in what appears to be the correct channel. (Insert singing..."Yes Lord") It's more than just appearance, it's the right relationship.
When you're plugged into the correct input, people will finally be able to hear the message which was intended for them from the beginning.
You are the mouthpiece that God needs, but He needs you to be totally plugged into the correct source.
Now take a moment to digest that word for your life, check your input and walk it out...
I must confess that I am a busy body. I like to see things done and I want them to be done well. Sometimes I can teach you and coach you through it; but then there are other times when no one else is available and I have to do it myself. Because I've done it once, the next time when that situation rolls around, I just handle it without looking for a relief person. I've got to get better at delegating responsibilities. Ha!
I'm on Day 3 of the Cleanse and I have been reflective and open to hearing God's voice for the past 2 days. I'm reading a book by Austin Channing Brown, "I'm Still Here Black Dignity in a World made for Whiteness". When I say it is FIYAH....I mean it will set you ablaze when she talks about how black women have to navigate white spaces. It is so good..... that I talked to both Chandler and Courtland this morning and told them that I will download it on their Nook. It speaks to both their private and public educational experiences. As they are growing up in a world that oftentimes demonizes black men, I want them to have the language to express and the capability to navigate the many all- white spaces in which they will find themselves. Did I say it is FIYAH? But something else spoke to me while reading this book.
I have a preacher friend in Memphis who messages me periodically about answering "the call". She and I had the opportunity to minister at a women's conference in Canada a few years ago. I was the only one out of the facilitators who was not a licensed preacher. Oh she messed with me something terrible! I told her that I KNOW that I've been called by God, but maybe just not to preach. (insert her pursed lips and rolling of the eyes) And just 2 years ago, another preacher friend, this one from New York, told me to stop saying what God hasn't done and just be open to what God wants to do through me. Okay, okay.....I'm still not thinking that I will go the traditional route, but I am very aware of God's power and His ability to use me in whatever arena I may find myself. Whether I am standing behind a church podium, a college lecture hall, a coffee shop or out working in the community, I am answering " the call" to be God's mouthpiece and the extension of his loving arms at the moment. Wherever God sends me, I can weave my blackness and my spirituality into one and speak truth to power to liberate others.
All of that was good, but it was not the revelation that God gave me to share. So here it goes...
The Lord showed me this about 3 am. Last night during Bible Study, after opening with a worship song, I had to run to the balcony and run the sound board and start the broadcast for the YouTube Livestream so we could capture Byron's teaching. Last week I had done the same thing, with Chandler's help, but he was working last night so I was on my own. I called one of our audio ministry workers (CM) for help because last week we didn't have sound and I wanted to make sure that I had it right this week. Everything was plugged in, the camera was set, the OBS (btw, I have no idea what that stands for) and YouTube windows were open and when I hit the "start streaming" I received an error message. Something about the server! CM took me through several options, by closing the program and reopening it and going directly to advanced settings; checking the IP address and hitting "start streaming". NOTHING but the same error message. Ugh! Meanwhile I'm missing the beginning of Byron's teaching and getting frustrated. I told CM nevermind...we'lll figure it out for next week. He hung up, but I couldn't let it go...
I shut down the program again and restarted it. This time I went to advanced settings and instead of keeping the named IP address, there was a drop down window with other options, one that said 'default'. Default for computers means 'a selection automatically used by a program in the absence of a choice made by the user'. As soon as I chose the default option and hit the "start streaming" button, it actually STARTED STREAMING. You don't say! I called CM back, he laughed and then said "I see it, but I still don't hear sound on my end". You have got to be kidding me!!!
Then he and I began going through audio options. He directed me to the sound board to go to the lapel mic channel AUX 6 and turn the knob. NOTHING! Then we tried AUX 6, 7, and 8...still NOTHING. We tried the handlheld mic channel to mirror the lapel mic channel...AUX 6,7 and 8. STILL NOTHING! Then he asked me a simple question...
A question that would change my life forever. A question that God revealed to me at 3am was what was holding me back and keeping me hostage. CM asked, "do you have it plugged into the correct input?" I replied, "I'm not sure, it's plugged into Input 1". To which he corrected and told me that Input 2 is where my cable needed to be plugged.
Well can you tell me what happened next? Come on people...I know you're pretty smart.
When I changed the input, the audio was immediately restored to the live YouTube feed. Someone who was trying to watch online, had left a message in the news feed. Once it was up and running, I replied " Sorry for the delay. the sound has been restored" and Bible study continued without a hitch.
But what was the word that God had for me?
God showed me that there are people waiting for you and I to be plugged in to the correct source.
They can't receive the message that God has for them, if we are not plugged in correctly which would allow the message to flow through. So many of us have been living life by default. We were raised in church, know the church lingo, love God, have examples of God-fearing workers, sing in the choir, usher in the usher ministry, part of the outreach team, work in the community and the list goes on. By default, we have picked up and been in environments that show us to be "good" people. But GOD says there needs to be more. We've been getting by with the default programming, but the message is still not being heard because we are not plugged into the correct input. The form of godliness is there, but it isn't until you look closer that you realize the input is wrong. MY GOD! God is saying to me that I can't just rest on my laurels and my history with God (my default system) and expect God to be heard through me. I've got to look a little closer to him to make certain that I'm connected in HIM and not in what appears to be the correct channel. (Insert singing..."Yes Lord") It's more than just appearance, it's the right relationship.
When you're plugged into the correct input, people will finally be able to hear the message which was intended for them from the beginning.
You are the mouthpiece that God needs, but He needs you to be totally plugged into the correct source.
Now take a moment to digest that word for your life, check your input and walk it out...
Tuesday, June 12, 2018
Day 1 of 10- Silence the Voices
Singing..."Today, was a good day!" Or at least an interesting one.
I woke up this morning and prepared my snack bags (carrots, celery, boiled eggs, unsalted sunflower seeds and apple) for the first 5 days of the detox. They are in storage bags inside the fridge, so I can grab one as I head out of the door. After drinking the detox tea, I wasn't starving for the smoothie...I was able to wait about an hour.
Pretty uneventful....until I hit the gym around 12 noon. As I was walking on the treadmill, I began to doubt myself. Crazy! I honestly felt REALLY REALLY good, but I started questioning how long I'd be able to last. I began to feel sick & uneasy immediately because nervousness was setting in. "This is too good to be true"; "I wonder when I'm gonna start feeling cranky and irritable"; "What would happen if I cheated"; "I would be a failure".
WAIT, WHAT? Why are you trippin' Girl? YOU FEEL GOOD, so don't allow fear to creep in and steal your joy! When I began to talk back to the chatter in my head, the sick feeling dissipated and the voices had to shut it down. In that moment, I realized that we are the masters at controlling our narrative. I will have to remind myself the next few days that I am powerful. I can either talk myself into a miracle OR talk myself out of a blessing. The choice is mine and that was my midday revelation. If I can control the negative thoughts and show gratitude in the present moment, I can handle anything.
So allow me to show gratitude...
Thank you Lord for allowing me to wake up this morning with a determination to begin anew.
Thank you because you allowed everyone in the house to sleep while I prepped and prepared for the day.
Thank you for that quiet time with you.
Thank you for allowing me hit the gym today.
Thank you for showing me how to quiet the chatter in my head.
Thank you for boiled eggs, sunflower seeds, carrots, celery and apples.
Thank you that the smoothie actually tasted good.
Thank you that when I was offered a bite of a red velvet cookie, I declined.
Thank you for helping me not to give in today, even though my family has a million to-go containers on the kitchen table. ( side note: I told them I wasn't cooking, so they better figure it out quickly. I'm just sayin')
Thank you for the detox tea that I am currently drinking.
Thank you for the agility of my fingers to type this message.
Thank you Lord that my bed is less than 2 feet away from me and I'm about to have a great night's rest.
God if I had 10,000 tongues, I still would be unable to thank you enough. I am truly grateful!
So keep praying for your girl, as I walk this thing out. Just know that whatever you're facing, you can handle it. We're walking on our way to FEARLESS...
I woke up this morning and prepared my snack bags (carrots, celery, boiled eggs, unsalted sunflower seeds and apple) for the first 5 days of the detox. They are in storage bags inside the fridge, so I can grab one as I head out of the door. After drinking the detox tea, I wasn't starving for the smoothie...I was able to wait about an hour.
Pretty uneventful....until I hit the gym around 12 noon. As I was walking on the treadmill, I began to doubt myself. Crazy! I honestly felt REALLY REALLY good, but I started questioning how long I'd be able to last. I began to feel sick & uneasy immediately because nervousness was setting in. "This is too good to be true"; "I wonder when I'm gonna start feeling cranky and irritable"; "What would happen if I cheated"; "I would be a failure".
WAIT, WHAT? Why are you trippin' Girl? YOU FEEL GOOD, so don't allow fear to creep in and steal your joy! When I began to talk back to the chatter in my head, the sick feeling dissipated and the voices had to shut it down. In that moment, I realized that we are the masters at controlling our narrative. I will have to remind myself the next few days that I am powerful. I can either talk myself into a miracle OR talk myself out of a blessing. The choice is mine and that was my midday revelation. If I can control the negative thoughts and show gratitude in the present moment, I can handle anything.
So allow me to show gratitude...
Thank you Lord for allowing me to wake up this morning with a determination to begin anew.
Thank you because you allowed everyone in the house to sleep while I prepped and prepared for the day.
Thank you for that quiet time with you.
Thank you for allowing me hit the gym today.
Thank you for showing me how to quiet the chatter in my head.
Thank you for boiled eggs, sunflower seeds, carrots, celery and apples.
Thank you that the smoothie actually tasted good.
Thank you that when I was offered a bite of a red velvet cookie, I declined.
Thank you for helping me not to give in today, even though my family has a million to-go containers on the kitchen table. ( side note: I told them I wasn't cooking, so they better figure it out quickly. I'm just sayin')
Thank you for the detox tea that I am currently drinking.
Thank you for the agility of my fingers to type this message.
Thank you Lord that my bed is less than 2 feet away from me and I'm about to have a great night's rest.
God if I had 10,000 tongues, I still would be unable to thank you enough. I am truly grateful!
So keep praying for your girl, as I walk this thing out. Just know that whatever you're facing, you can handle it. We're walking on our way to FEARLESS...
Monday, June 11, 2018
The next 10-days are just for ME....my journey to becoming FEARLESS
At the beginning of 2018, I chose my "one word" for the year which is FEARLESS. Or shall I say, it's the word that chose me. I initially thought being FEARLESS was about getting my business back on track, writing that next book and obtaining more speaking engagements this year. But after some self-reflection, I realized that I needed to be FEARLESS in my personal life, not just in the outward persona. This needs to be the time that I finally show up for myself.
One move I made...
A couple of months ago, I accessed my credit report from the 3 major credit reporting agencies. There are some things that I need to clear up and I have been afraid to look at the truth. You see ignorance is sublime....if you don't know, then there is nothing to resolve or be afraid of. However this is no way to live a productive and fulfilling life! Once you find out the truth, you are forced to make some adjustments. If my credit is jacked up, then it's time to fix it. If I'm not living at optimal health, then I need to watch what I put in my mouth and get my body up and moving. The bottom line is once you know the truth, you now have a choice. Do I just accept the situation or do I maneuver myself and start making adjustments?
I woke up early, about 2 days ago, with the book by JJ Smith, The 10-day Green Smoothie. I knew it was on one of the bookshelves, so I searched a while until I located it and curled back up in the bed to reread it. Although I had tried it before, a few years ago, and only made it to day 5; this time feels much different. I think it's different because I not only want to change my outward appearance (shed some weight) but I want to use this as a spiritual journey to recenter my mind, emotions and spirit.
I am a caregiver by nature (blame it on my mother), but oftentimes I care for others and ignore what I need. I say yes often, when I really want to say 'no thank you, not at this time' or ' hell no' (depending on the day). I don't get overly emotional about things, so I'll just keep it moving to keep peace and not cause a fuss. But these 10 days, I want to be so in tuned to God and my inner voice that I don't seek to please anyone but myself. I had to tell my husband and the boys that I will not be available to cook their meals...they are old enough (47, 18 and 14) to handle it and will rise to the challenge. I have NEVER done anything like this for myself and I'm so excited to accept the challenge. When I mentioned it initially, Courtland and Byron wanted to join me. I declined graciously. If I have to make smoothies for others, then once again I'm losing this time to focus on myself.
During these 10 days I will delete a few apps off of my phone....facebook and messenger, maybe instagram too. Why? Because I have found myself recently wasting 20-30 minutes at a time just scrolling. I somehow lose track in the minutia of other peoples lives, so I need to stop and regroup for a moment. I did decide that I will set aside some time every evening on my laptop, perusing through the apps that I just mentioned. Why would I do this? I still want to be in touch with the outside world, but I want to control it and not allow constant notifications to control me.
I didn't tell my girlfriends so they would join me and it become another challenge with accountability. Although accountability is great, I need to revisit what showing up for Sharri looks and feels like. I need to know how to pray my way through, if and when it becomes challenging. I need to see the pom-poms in my head cheering Sharri Lor forward to victory.
I will be doing a lot of reading during these 10 days (I honestly don't watch TV that much anyway). Get lost in a book and not rely on a show to entertain me. I am looking for a complete overhaul for the next 10 days. Each evening I will check in by blogging about my day. I promise to be honest about the good times and the challenging times.
This is my road to FEARLESS. I will decrease so that God might increase in my life.
I am not afraid...
If I can do it, then you can walk it out too....
One move I made...
A couple of months ago, I accessed my credit report from the 3 major credit reporting agencies. There are some things that I need to clear up and I have been afraid to look at the truth. You see ignorance is sublime....if you don't know, then there is nothing to resolve or be afraid of. However this is no way to live a productive and fulfilling life! Once you find out the truth, you are forced to make some adjustments. If my credit is jacked up, then it's time to fix it. If I'm not living at optimal health, then I need to watch what I put in my mouth and get my body up and moving. The bottom line is once you know the truth, you now have a choice. Do I just accept the situation or do I maneuver myself and start making adjustments?
I woke up early, about 2 days ago, with the book by JJ Smith, The 10-day Green Smoothie. I knew it was on one of the bookshelves, so I searched a while until I located it and curled back up in the bed to reread it. Although I had tried it before, a few years ago, and only made it to day 5; this time feels much different. I think it's different because I not only want to change my outward appearance (shed some weight) but I want to use this as a spiritual journey to recenter my mind, emotions and spirit.
I am a caregiver by nature (blame it on my mother), but oftentimes I care for others and ignore what I need. I say yes often, when I really want to say 'no thank you, not at this time' or ' hell no' (depending on the day). I don't get overly emotional about things, so I'll just keep it moving to keep peace and not cause a fuss. But these 10 days, I want to be so in tuned to God and my inner voice that I don't seek to please anyone but myself. I had to tell my husband and the boys that I will not be available to cook their meals...they are old enough (47, 18 and 14) to handle it and will rise to the challenge. I have NEVER done anything like this for myself and I'm so excited to accept the challenge. When I mentioned it initially, Courtland and Byron wanted to join me. I declined graciously. If I have to make smoothies for others, then once again I'm losing this time to focus on myself.
During these 10 days I will delete a few apps off of my phone....facebook and messenger, maybe instagram too. Why? Because I have found myself recently wasting 20-30 minutes at a time just scrolling. I somehow lose track in the minutia of other peoples lives, so I need to stop and regroup for a moment. I did decide that I will set aside some time every evening on my laptop, perusing through the apps that I just mentioned. Why would I do this? I still want to be in touch with the outside world, but I want to control it and not allow constant notifications to control me.
I didn't tell my girlfriends so they would join me and it become another challenge with accountability. Although accountability is great, I need to revisit what showing up for Sharri looks and feels like. I need to know how to pray my way through, if and when it becomes challenging. I need to see the pom-poms in my head cheering Sharri Lor forward to victory.
I will be doing a lot of reading during these 10 days (I honestly don't watch TV that much anyway). Get lost in a book and not rely on a show to entertain me. I am looking for a complete overhaul for the next 10 days. Each evening I will check in by blogging about my day. I promise to be honest about the good times and the challenging times.
This is my road to FEARLESS. I will decrease so that God might increase in my life.
I am not afraid...
If I can do it, then you can walk it out too....
Sunday, February 25, 2018
Grateful for the Gals who Raised and Poured into Me
It's early Sunday morning on a cool day of February, I have the middle bedroom window in Daddy's apartment opened to get some fresh air. It's been raining since late last night and the water has been soothing. I can hear the sound of the rain tap dancing on the pavement and bouncing off the building's vinyl siding. Periodically, I hear the sound of tires in the distance gliding over the wet streets and splashing through the puddles. Lawd, what type of animal was that? It sounded like a duck, but I'm not too familiar with the Philly wildlife. I hear the rain and I am instantly calmed. (If I were 6 years old again, I would find so much pleasure in sneaking outside and jumping in the biggest puddle I could find. Jumping from the curb, leaping into the air, high above the ground only to come crashing down smack dab in the crater of water which would then splash back up into my face. #carefree The thought alone makes me snile!
But I have another reason to smile...
I am in Philly because on Friday, we laid my Sweet Grandmother to rest. She was 95 years old. This is Mommy's mommy. The one who was in the hospital on one side of town, while Mommy was on another side of town. This is the lady who got out of the hospital in time to come minister to her 1st-born daughter, as she was preparing to transition. This is the strong woman who stood alongside her baby-girl's bed stroking her hand and praying as she had done since the first day they met. This sweet Lady made her final transition on Valentine's day, the same day that her daughter would have been married to my Daddy for 59 years. Oh February is more that just Black History month; it holds so many personal memories for me. Surprisingly, they are not sad memories!
I am so grateful to God for the lives of 2 beautiful women, Clara Lurannah Beckeet and Nelda Judiffy Beckett Mattison. (Those are some middle names right there. Ha!) Though there have been many people who've poured into my life over the years, I am so blessed to have had a praying Mother and Grandmother. They were powerhouses who loved the Lord and knew God firsthand. These sisters could get a prayer through on your behalf. They prayed for you, over you and probably against you if they knew that you were going the wrong way. ("Don't let them rest God, until they acknowledge you"......I think that's one of the ones I remember) These sistahs were serious about their relationship with God and they wanted you to experience the saving Grace and feel the loving arms of God. Now how can I be sad about that! In 3 more days, it will be 5 years since Mommy went to be with the Lord. I can't believe it's been that long! I'm not tearful, but reflective. (Also glad that I get to be in Philly with Daddy during this time.)
Maybe that's why I appreciate the magical sounds of the rain this morning. Maybe the rain is representing the tears that aren't falling from my eyes, but is washing over and cleansing my soul as I remember these ladies. So many times we as individuals overlook and fail to appreciate the gems that are in our midst. We take for granted that what we are experiencing now is going to remain like this forever. What I am quickly realizing, at 46 years of age, is that it's my turn to be that gem for someone else. A couple of weeks ago, I was thinking about all of the little girls and boys who look up to me at church. (My little shuga boogas.) I thought about carrying $1 bills in my wallet and when I felt I needed to bless one of my little bee bops to just shake it in their hands and give them a word of wisdom. What is really funny.....during Grandmommy's eulogy, the Bishop mentioned how she used to give him a "holy handshake"and deposit a few dollars into his hands periodically. That was confirmation for me! ( No sorry Bishop, unless your hand is an ATM you will not be receiving anything from me. Ha!) That thought, 2 weeks ago, was confirmed in that message that I am to be a giver and I already have my own little network set up.
I just keep hearing God say..."pour into....pour into. What I instilled in you is for more than just your household. Sharri, you were blessed to be a blessing!" There were so many who recognized gifts and talents in me and now it's time to find that little girl or boy and share that wisdom with them (and a dollar sure won't hurt either). Nelda and Clara nurtured what God had already placed in me and when they didn't understand they just prayed for me. ("Lord have your way!") At forty-six, foxy and fabulous, it's time for me to be more deliberate in how I pour into others. Part of it is instinctual because I had such great examples of woman whose love was limitless; but living with intention is paramount. I am embracing the shifting that is taking place in me!
I am cheering you on to find your own way to live with intention and purpose. I've known for years that I was an encourager....BUT I also know there is so much more to do. My words soaked in love and dripping with intention have the capability to change the entire trajectory of someone's life. I embrace that and move forward with purpose! Many years ago, the Lord gave me the theme for our Women's conference..."I was Created for More".....didn't realize at the time that would be my mantra for years to come. My friend, YOU too were created for more so don't run from it...sprint towards it.
So on this rainy Sunday morning, as I begin to get ready to attend church with Daddy, I am grateful for the gals who poured into me and now I gladly accept the calling to DELIBERATELY pour into others.
If this spoke to your heart, then I advise you to take the challenge, and begin pouring.
Allow your feet to carry you where you've already been ordained to go.
Walk into your destiny and create a legacy.
NOW WALK IT OUT........
But I have another reason to smile...
I am in Philly because on Friday, we laid my Sweet Grandmother to rest. She was 95 years old. This is Mommy's mommy. The one who was in the hospital on one side of town, while Mommy was on another side of town. This is the lady who got out of the hospital in time to come minister to her 1st-born daughter, as she was preparing to transition. This is the strong woman who stood alongside her baby-girl's bed stroking her hand and praying as she had done since the first day they met. This sweet Lady made her final transition on Valentine's day, the same day that her daughter would have been married to my Daddy for 59 years. Oh February is more that just Black History month; it holds so many personal memories for me. Surprisingly, they are not sad memories!
I am so grateful to God for the lives of 2 beautiful women, Clara Lurannah Beckeet and Nelda Judiffy Beckett Mattison. (Those are some middle names right there. Ha!) Though there have been many people who've poured into my life over the years, I am so blessed to have had a praying Mother and Grandmother. They were powerhouses who loved the Lord and knew God firsthand. These sisters could get a prayer through on your behalf. They prayed for you, over you and probably against you if they knew that you were going the wrong way. ("Don't let them rest God, until they acknowledge you"......I think that's one of the ones I remember) These sistahs were serious about their relationship with God and they wanted you to experience the saving Grace and feel the loving arms of God. Now how can I be sad about that! In 3 more days, it will be 5 years since Mommy went to be with the Lord. I can't believe it's been that long! I'm not tearful, but reflective. (Also glad that I get to be in Philly with Daddy during this time.)
Maybe that's why I appreciate the magical sounds of the rain this morning. Maybe the rain is representing the tears that aren't falling from my eyes, but is washing over and cleansing my soul as I remember these ladies. So many times we as individuals overlook and fail to appreciate the gems that are in our midst. We take for granted that what we are experiencing now is going to remain like this forever. What I am quickly realizing, at 46 years of age, is that it's my turn to be that gem for someone else. A couple of weeks ago, I was thinking about all of the little girls and boys who look up to me at church. (My little shuga boogas.) I thought about carrying $1 bills in my wallet and when I felt I needed to bless one of my little bee bops to just shake it in their hands and give them a word of wisdom. What is really funny.....during Grandmommy's eulogy, the Bishop mentioned how she used to give him a "holy handshake"and deposit a few dollars into his hands periodically. That was confirmation for me! ( No sorry Bishop, unless your hand is an ATM you will not be receiving anything from me. Ha!) That thought, 2 weeks ago, was confirmed in that message that I am to be a giver and I already have my own little network set up.
I just keep hearing God say..."pour into....pour into. What I instilled in you is for more than just your household. Sharri, you were blessed to be a blessing!" There were so many who recognized gifts and talents in me and now it's time to find that little girl or boy and share that wisdom with them (and a dollar sure won't hurt either). Nelda and Clara nurtured what God had already placed in me and when they didn't understand they just prayed for me. ("Lord have your way!") At forty-six, foxy and fabulous, it's time for me to be more deliberate in how I pour into others. Part of it is instinctual because I had such great examples of woman whose love was limitless; but living with intention is paramount. I am embracing the shifting that is taking place in me!
I am cheering you on to find your own way to live with intention and purpose. I've known for years that I was an encourager....BUT I also know there is so much more to do. My words soaked in love and dripping with intention have the capability to change the entire trajectory of someone's life. I embrace that and move forward with purpose! Many years ago, the Lord gave me the theme for our Women's conference..."I was Created for More".....didn't realize at the time that would be my mantra for years to come. My friend, YOU too were created for more so don't run from it...sprint towards it.
So on this rainy Sunday morning, as I begin to get ready to attend church with Daddy, I am grateful for the gals who poured into me and now I gladly accept the calling to DELIBERATELY pour into others.
If this spoke to your heart, then I advise you to take the challenge, and begin pouring.
Allow your feet to carry you where you've already been ordained to go.
Walk into your destiny and create a legacy.
Clara Lurannah Hackney Beckett
Nelda Judiffy Beckett Mattison
Sharri Lor Mattison Coleman
...the legacy will continue because I am living on purpose...
Who's next?!
NOW WALK IT OUT........
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