Last night I cried...

It's funny how God will sometimes use the craziest thing to get our attention.

About a week ago, Daddy and I were talking and he mentioned that his apartment building was changing phone, cable and internet service.  His phone carrier would no longer be needed, because he was being upgraded.  He was excited because he would now have free internet, although he has no computer, nor does he know what WiFi is all about.  (This man doesn't even text, so his interest in technology is quite amusing to me.) 

Last night, we had a great choir rehearsal.  We sang, we laughed and we praised.  I taught two of Mommy's original songs, "So Glad He Came" and "Happy Birthday Jesus".   Choir rehearsal was light-hearted and even comical at times.   Whenever we meet,  we always close out the rehearsal with prayer requests and praise reports.  It's an opportunity for us to hear each others hearts and offer support and encouragement.  Many expressed their loss for loved ones and how difficult it was during this time.

As we move closer to Christmas, we recognize that people feel death even more than they did in the summer or any other time of the year.  The Thanksgiving/Christmas/ New Year season is a time where you think about family and reminisce over childhood memories.  It seems that this time of year brings out the best, while oftentimes causing silent anguish in the life of those missing loved ones.  I know that God has given me a heart for people, so I can commiserate with you while at the same time help you move past that pain.  Kinda like speaking to your pain and causing you to think more positive thoughts.  Well last night, I think the Lord pricked my heart, just a little, so I could really feel what others might be feeling.

When I returned home from choir rehearsal, I decided to call Daddy.  He has a cold, so I've been calling EVERY day to make sure he's drinking enough water and getting proper rest. (The Lord has definitely blessed him at 85 years young.)  I called his house phone and was utterly confused!!!  I sat there in a daze before dialing his cell phone.  It took me a couple of minutes to process the information, then it hit me like a punch in the gut.  Daddy's new phone service changed my life forever. She was gone!  After 4 years, 9 months and 2 days, Mommy's voice was gone in an instant.  What you don't know is....my mother's voice was still on my parent's home answering machine.  I remember when she passed in 2013, some of my family members would never call Daddy on the house phone because it was too painful to hear her voice.  Not me!  That was my tiny little pleasure; my slice of heaven; my connection to Mommy.  Whenever I wanted to talk to her, I'd simply call the house, hear her voice and have a conversation.  We still had that special Mommy-daughter connection that no one else knew about.  It was just me and my Mommy!  I had to quickly pull it together and call Daddy on his cell phone.  We talked and as soon as we hung up, I dialed the house phone again.  Once again, the generic voice of the answering machine continued, "no one is available at (215) blah blah blah - blah blah blah blah"! (Whatever Lady. Ugh!)

I sat on the floor for a minute, just staring into nothingness.  My husband called me into the room for something and as I walked towards him, I began to cry.  All I could do was whisper, "she's gone".  As I began to recount the story, he caught on immediately and nodded " the answering machine".  After taking a shower and getting ready for bed, I was better but extremely quiet.

This morning as I laid in the bed about 3:30 am (this is normal) my mind raced back to all of the conversations in choir rehearsal and on social media about people feeling loss, during especially during this time of year.  God reminded me that I wasn't exempt.  Sometimes it's easy to dismiss someone elses feelings when you don't understand or have not experienced what they've gone through.  Last night was a wake up call to genuinely love people through this time.  Because you feel the loss doesn't mean that you're weak...you're just sad!  So be sad, cry and then thank the Lord for helping you to feel and to remember.  You are not cold-hearted.  The blood is still running warm through your veins and you are still alive because God isn't ready for you yet.  And as Mommy said to me as my family dropped me off at Spelman College, many years ago....."When you get homesick or miss us, don't stay here in a pity part and turn on sad music, you better turn on some gospel music and sing yourself happy". (I've been doing just that for years. Ha! Thanks Mommy.)

God is so neat; because even in your pain, He will give you revelation.  Her voice is gone, but her spirit lives in me.  Her voice is gone, but I can still hear her words of encouragement.  Her voice is gone, but her legacy continues through me. Her voice is gone, but when I lay my hands on someone to pray, I feel her energy (because that's what she did for me).

Well it's time to wake the boys for school, so I must leave you.  I think I'll connect my phone to the living room speaker, turn on my gospel music and DANCE as we prepare for the day.

Last night I cried because I couldn't hear her voice; but today I'll dance because her spirit lives on inside of me.  I am my mother's daughter and I choose to dance!

Now walk it out.......

Birthday blessings

Lord knows that I couldn't celebrate my 46th birthday without celebrating you as well.  God has us on a journey this year!
Please enjoy this video message for you on YouTube.  God gave me a revelation as I was cleaning out my closet on Saturday and I think it's a right now word for all of us.

When you clear the clutter in your closet, you'll be able to walk it out...

Smooches

There's a blessing in your boredom!

I know, I know....it's been a long time!

I guess I'm feeling inspired this morning as I walk on the treadmill at my father's apartment complex.

Honestly, I think it's because I am in Philly visiting Daddy who is 85 years blessed and I don't have all the UNNECESSARY THINGS around me to occupy my time. I'm actually able to sit, think, soul search, Google search because he's still asleep and it's quiet.

I'm not washing clothes, walking the dog, tidying up the living/dining room, cutting the grass, watering plants, etc...  all of which I can usually get done b/w 5-8 am. Ha! #feelsstrangethough

My advice to all of us...

Breathe slowly & deeply whenever you can.
Disconnect yourself from the "norm" periodically.
Enjoy being bored.
Connect with something/someone that makes you smile.
Be still long enough to hear.

Peace out! #morechillingtodo #myheadacheisgone #quiettime

I thought I was just here to visit, love and serve;  but in my stillness I am gaining clarity.

Now walk it out...

When God says to pray.....JUST PRAY

I wanted to talk to you and I needed to do it face to face.

Enjoy the video...

Now walk it out, as we pray!

Just Slow Down Already

For the past two weeks, I have heard God saying to me repeatedly, "SLOW DOWN".

"Slow down??? Lord, don't you know that I've got things to do!" That sounds ridiculous doesn't it?; but don't judge me.  You know you've probably said the same thing at some point.  The world that we live in is moving so quickly.  There are deadlines to be made, community to participate in, phone calls to make, business opportunities to seek after, family to care for, friends to catch up with and soooo much more.  Someone is ALWAYS pulling on us.  You go to the local grocery store just to shop and someone comes down the aisle waxing philospohical. (I was looking for corn, not conversation.)  When you go to one of your child's activities, someone calls on the phone for a deep debate.  You try to take a quick nap, but you can't fall asleep because you didn't silence the FB notifications on your phone.  It's a hot mess!  So much to do, so little time.....but is that really the case?

Who told you couldn't turn your phone off temporarily?  Who said that you shouldn't give a polite wave and save the conversation for another day?

We are so busy trying not to offend others that we have forgotten how to protect ourselves.  You are the greatest commodity, your greatest asset and it's time to protect it.

• You need rest.
• You need time away.
• You need peace and quiet.
• You need an opportunity to sit outside and listen to the birds chirping.
• You need stillness to hear from God.

So if you need it...............it's time to take it!

Slow down and enjoy God's creation. Slow down and love on the people in your home.  Slow down and turn your phone off for a spell.  Slow down and actually follow through at the gym.  Slow down and bask in the afternoon sun.  Slow down and not only talk to God, but be sure to listen to God.

If you're a busy-body, it might be challenging, but it will definitely be worth it.  How do I know?  Because I'M definitely a busy-body, but I'm learning to let go.  (Okay, so I'm up to letting go... I'm a work in progress.)

This is my challenge to you....If you're asked to do something that doesn't edify you and could potentially be draining, just say NO.  Life will not end!  It's time for you to slow down.

Now walk it out...

A fall, a seizure, a laceration and a concussion....BUT GOD!

This is Courtland's testimony.

     Last Monday morning was the 1st day of spring break for the boys.  My husband and I had the trip all planned out.  We would leave OKC @4:30 am heading to Atlanta Ga.   We decided that we'd stop for breakfast at Cracker Barrel in Little Rock; be prepared to eat lunch in Memphis and arrive in Birmingham, AL ready to check into our hotel for the night.  We'd wake up on Tuesday in Birmingham ready to visit the Civil Rights Museum and then drive the final 2 hours to our destination in Atlanta.
     Byron and I graduated from Morehouse and Spelman Colleges, respectively and we were so ready to show the boys our old stomping ground.  They were psyched, we were psyched and the Coleman's were ready to begin a week long driving adventure.  Obviously, the Lord had other plans for us.
     Byron woke up and showered before I woke up.  He was on the other side of the house, in the kitchen, ready for the word to begin loading the car.  It was time to wake the boys up, so we could begin the trip. I went to Courtland's room first and told him to get into the shower.  He jumped up immediately with expectancy and went into the bathroom.  I had gone back into my bathroom, which abuts the bathroom where Courtland has turned on the water in the shower.  I honestly don't know how much time had elapsed before I heard a "thud" and the shower curtain rods falling.  I dropped everything and ran to the bathroom, knowing that something happened but not prepared to see what I saw.
     When I opened the bathroom door, I immediately noticed the missing shower curtain and I expected to see and hear Courtland trying to get up.  However, the scene was quite different.  I saw his legs in the air and his torso was wrapped in the shower curtain, but he was NOT moving.  I screamed his name and reached to pick him up, as I noticed his bloodshot eyes, blazing straight ahead.  I immediately began my blood curdling call for Byron, with instructions to call 911.  As I began unwrapping him from the shower curtain, he went into a tonic-clonic seizure and began convulsing.  By this time, Byron is on the phone with the operator, my other son was an emotional wreck and I was praying.  I was straddled on the side of the tub, attempting to hold his body on the side until the convulsing stopped.  I managed to hear Byron's questions from the 911 operator,  assure Chandler that his little brother would be fine and hear the prayers of my mother coming from my mouth.  Nelda (Mommy) was in that bathroom because I remember hearing her prayers over me since I was a little girl.  I knew to call on the name of Jesus and to begin to proclaim healing and restoration.  The convulsions ended and he laid on the floor unconscious, but breathing.  Shortly afterwards, we heard the firetruck sirens headed to our home.  Medical help was on the way; but the real help was already in that bathroom with us!
     Four strapping firemen walked into our home and I moved out of the way.  They decided to  move my baby out of the bathroom and placed him on his bed, which was directly across the hall. Because he'd fallen on his back, they placed him in a neck brace and put him on the board.  They wanted to make sure that he hadn't injured his spinal column, which could ultimately affect his spinal cord and his ability to move.  After the firemen, then came EMSA and I began relaying the same account of my story.  Of course, this warranted a trip to the hospital, so we headed out to Children's Hospital.  I rode in the front of the ambulance, as Byron and Chandler shut the house down and drove behind us.
Courtland was still in a daze and the EMSA worker said to me, as we were wheeling him in, "I'm concerned that we have not gotten a verbal response from him".  I was baffled that he actually said this out loud to the patient's mother.  Are you serious Sir?  This is something you whisper to another worker, NOT the boys mama.  I rebuked the devil and prayed even louder, as we approached the ER room bay #12.  As the hospital team began to hook him up to their machines, the doctor asked a question and after 25-30 minutes of no verbal response, Courtland said, YES.  He spoke and the EMSA worker looked at me with surprise and joy in his eyes. I simply said, "thank you Lord" and focused again on my child.
    As time progressed, he began to emerge from the fog by talking, while holding my hand.  They rolled him away to get a CT scan.  Results: No sign of tumor or brain bleed.  And he also needed just 3 stitches on his right eyelid.  After about 4 hours, things were back to "normal" and he was being discharged with instructions to follow up with his pediatrician.  We went home and he slept on the couch for the next few hours.  Needless to say, we were at the pediatrician's office by 1 pm that afternoon.  It was there that we talked about possible causes, future tests, neurological follow up and concussion protocol.

WHAT A DAY!

     Needless to say, the Atlanta trip was off but we definitely needed a change of scenery.  We were ALL emotionally and physically drained and the pediatrician thought it would be alright for us to travel; so the next day we drove to Dallas.  For the next few days Courtland was tired, the muscles in his legs pained him when he walked and his mouth hurt; but he was alive and well.  So we popped Aleve, rested, kissed, hugged and prayed a whole lot.  By Thursday,  he was back to himself and not complaining of pain.  His laughter was refreshing!  Thank God for favor....we were able to set all of his doctors appointments for Monday.  EKG, EEG and vision test all scheduled (he mentioned blurry eyes when he got into the shower that Monday morning). 
     So why did I tell you all of this?  I am just amazed at the awesomeness and grace of God.  Our family has learned to trust God completely through this situation.  Although we were disappointed by not being able to travel to Atlanta, we began to think about the dangers that the Lord may have been keeping us from on the highway.  Psalms 91 talks about how God has angels watching over us.  (We definitely had our angels, with eyes laser-focused on us.)  Because I am always concerned about the condition of your soul, I want to encourage to know God for yourself.  My medical knowledge didn't force me into action, because I was looking at MY baby.  It was nothing but the Holy Spirit that allowed me to stay level headed and PRAYERFUL.  That's why I openly pray with the boys daily.  I pray over them, but I also invite them to pray for us from time to time.   In fact, when big brother was frantic I encouraged him to pray.  "You know how to talk to God, so go ahead and pray baby".  Although I never heard him, I know he was pleading with God as he cried for his little brother.  There is power in calling on the name of the Lord, NOT in fear but in Faith.  I believe that this was his first and last seizure, but we're going to do some precautionary things until we get some real answers.  I hope that you never have to experience anything like this, but if you have a relationship with God and converse with Him daily, you will be able to handle it.

Now start praying & praising and walk it out...

The picture of Courtland is from today after church.  Doesn't my baby look great?!  If I hadn't mentioned his ordeal today, no one would have ever noticed any change.  That's just how good God is!  Yes, thumbs up Baby....it's all good!

Remove the Kinks in the Line _Soulful Sunday with Dr. Sharri

Today, I decided to share a vlog (video blog) with you.  I just thought connecting with you via video was important for today's session.  This message is about my trip to the chiropractor and how it changed my life or is changing my life.  It's all apart of this journey!

Once you've completed the video...... Walk it out!

Get out of your Head and Follow your Heart

There isn't much more I can say about this title.

It's time to "Get out of your Head and Follow your Heart".  Sometimes we spend so much time contemplating the next step, rather than just taking the 1st step.  When we step out into what God has for us, we move close and more quickly towards our purpose and destiny. 

You know what God has already assigned to you.
You know the peace you'll experience when you obey the call.
You know how God will ultimately get the glory.

So get out of the way, get out of your head and follow your heart!

Now walk it out...... (drop the mic and exit stage left)

Are you Listening to Your Body?

     This month, I downloaded an app on my phone that is supposed to help you meditate, relax, calm down and be mindful.  It took me over 2 weeks to complete a 7-day meditation schedule.  Hmm?  Obviously there is something already off about the math. (Perhaps I need to slow down.) Yesterday as I was lying in my hammock, I finally completed day 7.  The theme was awareness. The instructor in the app, quietly talked about the importance of being present and aware of what our bodies are telling us.

     Do you eat only when you're hungry or do you eat just because there is food present?  Do you sleep when you're tired or do you busy yourself until you simply fall out in bed?  The exercise was about sitting still and being aware of every sensation you feel as you move certain parts of your body.  What is the sensation you get as you blink your eyes, or move your neck or notice how your chest rises and falls as your breathe?  What do you feel when you wiggle your toes or your fingers?  I started out listening to her then my mind began to wander as I realized how unaware I have become.  (Obviously, I failed the meditation part of clearing the mind. Ha!)

     On most days, I know that my body is tired, because I rarely sleep all night and wake up long before the alarm clock ever goes off.  Yet, my internal motor ( in my head) pushes and pushes until I can't take any more and my temper is short.  Rather than take a 20 minute nap or close my eyes for a little while,  I run through a mental checklist (which manifests itself physically) of things that need to be done: washing & folding clothes, cooking a meal, running a vacuum, helping with homework, preparing to teach my classes the next day or getting ready for the next praise team or choir rehearsal.  So by the end of the night, if asked a question, my answers are usually short because I'm beyond exhausted. 

     I know most of you can attest to the feeling of eating when you're bored.  You didn't experience any real hunger pains, but you went into the kitchen just to scope it out anyway.  For some of us, we've wound up dehydrated when we chose not to listen to our bodies as it screamed for fluids.  Many of us have seen our blood pressure increase, not because we were eating foods high in sodium, but because we are stressed out due to the demands that we have placed on ourselves.  "Gotta be faster, stronger, smarter and work harder than anyone else";  yet our bodies are telling us to take a seat, rest a while and be secure in the fact that we are enough. 

    So why am I writing this?  I have to share this because many of you are like me......you need to slow down.   I have encouraged so many to take care of themselves, rest and get away for a while, but it almost takes an act of God to make me slow down.  I have a friend, who recently retired, and is on a month long sabbatical to become certified in teaching yoga IN ANOTHER COUNTRY.  I am so excited for her that she honored herself enough to unplug and better herself.  Do you think she is stressing right now?  Heck nah.  She is currently in a warm climate, forced to take time for herself and learning the effects of proper stretching and breathing.  She is totally present.  If she were constantly worried about what was going on back in Oklahoma, she would be doing herself a great disservice.  So perhaps you and I can't get away for a month at a time, but there are some things that we can do to live in the moment.

Here's a short list of ways you can honor yourself by listening to your body and becoming more aware of what it's trying to tell you.

• Set your alarm clock 10-15 minutes earlier than usual, so you have time to relax in the morning and gather your thoughts before the rest of the house wakes up.  You begin the day more clearly.
• Use a part of your lunch to go for a walk or get out of the office (Stop eating at your desk.)  Sometimes unplugging from the work environment for 10 minutes helps you to become more productive in the afternoon.
• If you know you've had a rough day and need to go home.  Don't go right away!  Drive the long way home so you can calm your spirit before you walk through the door and are bombarded with the needs of others. (If I weren't trying to watch what I was eating, I'd tell you to get a milkshake for the long drive. Yummy!)
• Once at home and you've engaged with the family, tell them when you need 5-10 minutes to decompress from the day.  Take a book or magazine into the bathroom or sit on the back porch and let everyone know that you need a few uninterrupted minutes. (Give that time a name, so your family knows how to respect it.  They will learn "safe" words too for when they need to take a moment for themselves.)  Most family arguments stem from people responding to each other with a short fuse because they are simply tired / frustrated.
• Set your bedtime 30 minutes earlier.  (Many of our health issues stem from sleep deprivation.)

The bottom line is ......there is only one of YOU and you need to be aware of what your body is trying to tell you.  My body is telling me right now that it's time to cut you loose and focus on me for the  rest of the evening.

Now walk it out...

Do you Need a Face Mask? (Soulful Sunday Series)

This past week, my husband and both of our sons were sick.  I don't believe it was the flu, but it was serious enough that they all missed school and work.  My husband was the first one to go down.  He began feeling sick on Saturday, but after preaching twice on Sunday, was a wreck by the time Monday came around. Coughing, chest congestion and fatigue was his plight.  His illness didn't become real to us in the house, until our oldest started feeling ill and missed school on Tuesday.  On Wednesday, our younger son and I made a pact that we were not going to get sick.  As fate would have it,  he missed school on Thursday.  At this point, I finally realized that we had a MAJOR problem that promised to take us all under in another day or so.  I knew I needed to stop the spread of germs in our home.  Yes, we are family and have grown immune to each others system; however, an outside virus or bacteria had infiltrated our little home.

I ran to the local pharmacy and purchased a box of medical face masks and insisted that everyone use one.  They laughed initially, but quickly realized that they were protecting themselves from spreading and picking up additional germs.  The rule was if you were in your own room, you didn't have to wear the mask; but as soon as you entered the common living areas you had to put one on.  Dad continued to balk at the idea, but the more he coughed and received crazy stares from all of us, he finally gave in.

As I was lying in bed,  I began to think about what this actually meant beyond the cold. I was reminded of the many times that I spoke out of turn or allowed negative words to exit my mouth.  I'm sure this has happened to many of us.  We've carried germs ( like a mean disposition, bitterness, harboring hate and sowing seeds of discord) and every time we opened our mouths to cough we spread little droplets of sputum into the atmosphere.  Many times those around us noticed immediately and tried to cover their mouths or move away.  But many times they entered the room afterwards and unbeknownst to them placed their hands on the table where the sputum landed, subsequently rubbing their eyes, nose or mouth and transferring those germs into their own body.  If their immune system was compromised in any way the germs were given license to breed.

So who actually needs to wear a face mask?  The one inside the room with the cold or the one entering the room?  I say both parties need face masks.  One is looking out for others and one is protecting themself.  One is being mindful of an intruder and careful not to spread it, while the other realizes that they need a barrier to protect themselves from being invaded.

There have been times when I've played both roles.

I must admit that I've had to catch myself from gossiping and speaking negatively about someone else from time to time.  I needed the face mask (the Holy Spirit) to help me bridle my tongue when I really wanted to give someone a harsh tongue-lashing.  I've been the one who realized that if I didn't bring myself under subjection and display self-control that I would inevitably spread more hurt, pain, nastiness and negativity.  At another point in my life, when I became a little more aware, I would enter a room and recognize that I needed to protect myself from the negativity.  There have been times when I've walked into a room and felt the heaviness of the sputum weighing the air down.  Sometimes the barrier or face mask was represented by my walking back out of the room, while at other times the barrier was demonstrated by consciously spreading positivity, light and love to those already inside of the room.

The bottom line is we all need to practice mindfulness.  If we are carrying infection inside of us, we need to put on a face mask until we can get an antibiotic in our system to clear the germs.  And if we know someone is sick, we need to be mindful enough to put on a face mask and remove ourselves from the situation until the air has been cleared and disinfected.

The face mask is designed to block and bless.
The face mask is designed to prevent and preserve.
The face mask is designed to safeguard and screen.
The face mask is designed to forgive and fortify.

Since ALL of us need a face mask for one thing or another, it becomes our job to seek God to see which side of the room we are actually on.  Are we the progenitors or the preventers of the spread of disease?  Only YOU can answer that question.

So if you need to wear a face mask, don't be ashamed; you have taken the first step in realizing the power of choice that lies inside.  What will you choose?

Now grab your face mask and walk it out....

To Thine Own Spiritual Self Be True

On Saturday, I had an amazing opportunity to share light and love with young women of color at the University of Oklahoma.  The conference was called S.O.U.L. conference.  It stands for Sisters of OU Living, Loving, Learning and Leading.

      My topic was about recognizing the spiritual side of you.  How can young women take care of their spiritual side as they pursue their education?  Do you even need to recognize spirituality as you're matriculating through school?  Well of course.  Here are a few highlights that I shared with those beautiful young sisters, that I believe will be helpful to you as you walk in your purpose.

 We are all spiritual beings. 
 

     I like the scene in the movie Avatar where they are all around the tree seemingly praying and connected to one another.  You hear weeping and wailing…the cries and prayers of the people.  When my husband and I saw this we almost started to shout....we said "that’s just like church".  

In the movie Avatar there are many scenes that communicate the idea of the plant and animal life of Pandora being in a unified relationship. Each animal is equipped with an antenna, or a queue, that allows the animals to communicate with each other and that the whole planet.  They are able to communicate because they are connected.  I get goose bumps when I see that scene.  It’s almost like an awakening that I feel with the realization that we are all connected in some way.

     Now wouldn’t that be lovely to be able to see through the mess of people and see their soul.  Sometimes we’re so engrossed with the external shell that we forget that somewhere behind all of the toughness, meanness, bitterness and façade that there is an innocence or openness.  The problem is that oftentimes we’re unwilling to see it in others because we’re unable to see it in ourselves.  

I can’t see the goodness in my sister, because somewhere along the way I  was told that females were shifty.

I can’t see the innocence in my sister, because I was molested and my innocence was taken away and now I'm suspicious of everyone.

I can’t see the confidence in my sister, because I am sensing my own low self-esteem and fear.

So rather than trying to make a connection and being authentic, I put up a wall and keep people out. But then I go further to find people or a circle of friends who don’t challenge me but help me to feel comfortable in my own mess and shadiness.
     As women of color, we have a long history of connection with each other.  Africans, in their veneration or worship of the ancestors, believe that they are connected to those who’ve gone before.  Not only am I connected but also I’m grateful for the connection and remember and honor them.  Without them, I wouldn’t be here.

     I have been on this wellness kick with a group of accountability partners and in the FB group that I started, called “Parenting on Purpose University”.  The idea of wellness is paramount.  We realize that as my mother-in-law used to always tell me when she saw me running around like a crazy woman….”Baby you can’t give from an empty cup”.  Which translates, Girl slow down and pace yourself. 

You can’t give energy that you don’t have.

You can’t show love that is not there.

You can’t offer compassion to others, if you don’t have any for yourself.

If you’re depleted, you have nothing to offer anyone else.

We use the hashtag #selfcare.

·       #selfcare means taking the time to celebrate you

·       #selfcare means investing in your own growth & development

·       #selfcare means to make sure you take care of your body, because it has to carry you and all of your issues around

·      #selfcare means to revel in the quiet time and stolen moments away from the noise and drama

     #Soulcare is slightly different from selfcare.  Selfcare is about taking care of yourself, while soulcare is about nurturing the innermost part of YOU.  Soulcare is about finding the connection to yourself, by finding a connection with God so that you can work at  the top of your potential.  Soulcare is saying to God, " without you I am nothing", so I acknowledge you in everything that I do and accomplish.

1. Clear the Clutter!

      Let people go that no longer suit you.  Sometimes we think that we have to hang on to people just because they were our 'ride-or-die' 2 years ago.    I challenged every young woman in the room to pull out her phone and delete one phone number of a person who is adding nothing to her life.  That's the practical side, but there is a mental, emotional and spiritual side as well.  Delete those thoughts in your mind that no longer suit you.  Don't hang on to the lies that you may have been telling yourself for years.  Lies like: I'm not good enough; I'm not pretty enough; I'm a woman and can't achieve.  Lies, lies, lies......please let them go.

2. Align yourself with positive thoughts and positive people. 

     Now that you are clearing those thoughts, replace them with positive thoughts.  "I am the head and not the tail.  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  Greater is the God within me than he that's in the world."  Now your job is to find a positive circle of friends who can LOVE you just the way you are, while they are yet pushing you to be the best version of yourself.

3. Renew the Commitment to be true to yourself and to God.

     Those promises that you made to yourself that you were going to work hard and love even harder; go back and fulfill them.   You promised to always be authentic....start today. You promised to give God thanks for all that's been bestowed upon you.....so begin living a life of gratitude.

4. Embrace and Express the new soulful you!

     Embrace the fact that you are growing into your greatness and walking into your purpose.  Don't be ashamed about it.....walk in it  and be glad.  You've worked hard to get here, now share it with someone else along the way.  Your story matters! (as one of the other speakers mentioned)

Finally, be true to yourself and true to the God that's within you. Take care of your soul!

Now walk it out.... 

What is your body telling you? Could it actually be stress? _SOULFUL SUNDAY SERIES

Happy Soulful Sunday evening.

I have a phone app to share with you. This morning my husband showed Chandler a breathing app ("Calm") on his phone to help him relax before playing golf.  My 16-year old gets so excited when he is about to play a round of golf.  In fact he mentioned to me earlier this week that he thought he should change his music before he plays.  He said, "Mom I think I need to be a little more focused and relaxed".  Even he realized that what you put into your ears or your allow to  be absorbed into your mind can actually change the way you act.

I downloaded the same app on my phone this afternoon and performed breathing exercises with Courtland, right before he began to study for his test.   We did a meditation exercise about letting your thoughts go and being mindful and intentional.  Afterward we performed a breathing exercise.  We had to focus on an expanding circle while we were instructed to inhale, hold our breath and then exhale on command.  Since I was so relaxed, I decided to take a blood pressure reading. It was 117/80. WHAT?! Last night it was 148/83 and the day before that it was 166/100. As I mentioned in last weeks' post, my BP was surprisingly high.  I went to the doctor on Tuesday and she prescribed 2 medications.  I know the medication is probably beginning to work, BUT I now realize that my body has probably been trying to tell me something.

Perhaps I've been carrying stress that I didn't recognize before. Hmm?!  I know that I have plenty of jobs and responsibilities, but I really thought I was handling it well.  My husband mentioned that once I get up at the crack of dawn, I don't stop until I pass out at night.  I suppose that I didn't consider what this was truly doing to my body.    I sent a message to my "Parenting on Purpose University" FB page, informing them of my newest revelation.  It's time to go take a seat ma'am.  I must say yes when  I want to, and  learn how to say no, without feeling guilty, when I don't.  I'm sure this applies to you as well, in some area of your life. 

Learn to protect your mind and keep the stress levels down.  Take a walk, listen to calming music, pray, meditate and be deliberate about slowing your breaths.  Research at the National Institutes of Health suggests that breathing slowly for a few minutes a day is enough to help lower blood pressure naturally without medication. Scientists believe that how we breathe may hold a key to how the body regulates blood pressure.  Using breathing techniques is one of the most powerful stress relievers to calm the body and mind.   So what have I been doing?!   Both you and me deserve not to have headaches, feel tired or have high blood pressure.  I invite you to join me in this journey of calm and mindful intention.  It's time to focus on your wellness!

 Now walk it out.... (and take deep breaths as you go)

It's Time to See a Doctor

I gave this testimony/ confession today in early morning worship service.

Our church is partnering with the American Heart Association in the Battle of the Heart. It's so important to not only talk about spiritual things in church, but rather add mental and physical components to the discussion.  It's a 4-month challenge to encourage individuals to check their blood pressure weekly. (You can't work to control something that you don't know or acknowledge.)  The church will have specific guidelines when serving food and drinks during functions to promote a healthy lifestyle.

Now I am very active.  I count my daily Fitbit steps, I attend zumba periodically, I have exercise accountability partners, I walk the dog frequently and workout at the gym on a consistent basis.  During the beginning of the year fast, I gave up meat and made it for 3 weeks.  I'm pretty conscience about the food that I put into my body.  However, I was caught off guard on Thursday when, during our Health ministry meeting, we decided to take our own blood pressures readings. (We have to be the 1st partakers before encouraging others to do so.)  It was at this time that I realized that my BP was high.  Just 2 months ago when attending my yearly gynecological exam, my BP was great and within normal limits. No reason for alarm!  So I was kind of thrown off by this newest revelation.

The funny thing is that my left shoulder and back has been hurting.  Sometimes I can move the wrong way and I'll get a sharp pain around my shoulder blade.   There has even been arm numbness from time to time. After the BP was taken, I noticed that my arm throbbed for a few hours....just a funny sensation.  I know all of the signs of a heart attack in women and how oftentimes they don't match those of men.  But I've found myself blaming my pain on a bad mattress (although it really is time to get a new one), muscle strain, possible nerve sheath inflammation.....any and everything except cardiovascular disease or high BP.  Well anyway, I had choir rehearsal later that same evening and decided to mention it to a nurse friend.  I knew which words NOT to say as she listened intensely and shared her thoughts.  She took it a step further and mentioned it to her cardiologist friend later that evening, during a phone call.  Needless to say, the doctor told her to tell me to check my BP daily and then call her office to see if they could squeeze me in on the schedule.   Praise God.............I have an appointment on Tuesday.

Why am telling you this?  Because someone else is out there denying that things just don't feel right.  You've been hesitant in contacting your physician for fear that you'll receive bad news.  This type of thinking is actually what causes many African Americans to die at a higher rate than other individuals because we wait too late before seeking medical attention.  Well not anymore for this sister!!! I have been the caretaker and the burden bearer for so many and it's time to take care of ME!

I'm sure the doctor will put me on some type of water pill for the high BP and I pray that is all.  My goal however is to NOT stay on medication, so that means that I need to be even more diligent in my diet and exercise, so I can lose some weight.  The church challenge lasts for the next 4 months.  It is my goal to have shed 20 pounds by then.  My life depends on it!  The success of my family depends on it, as well.  I will also be mindful in monitoring my stress levels.  I'm not an easily stressed person, but I will pay attention that I am doing things for ME that make me better and not what might appease someone else.  It's about honoring MY mind, body and soul.

So I challenge you to take care of YOU.  Call the physician.  Have your blood pressure checked regularly.  Go for a walk or join a gym (and actually go).  Listen to your body and be good to yourself.

Now walk it out...

 

FYI:

Don't jump prematurely - FIND JOY IN THE JOURNEY

This past week, I dreamed that I was riding an elevated train and jumped off at one of the stops to gather some things that I thought I'd left behind.  However by the time I got to the bench and turned around, the train had already pulled out of the station.  If you're a City girl like me, you'd know that there are usually local and express trains.  If there are 9 stops along a route, the express train would only gather riders at 3 out of the 9 stops, but the local train would stop at every site to pick up and let off riders.  In the dream, I honestly don't recall if I was on a local or express train, all I remember is that I jumped off prematurely.

I made several mistakes.

1. I didn't let anyone know that I was getting off. I just jumped off, thinking that I could make it back to the train before the doors closed.  Had I mentioned to someone that I needed to retrieve something off the bench, they could have held their hand out or used their body to prevent the doors from closing.
2.  Not only did I not inform anyone, I didn't pick up my purse or cell phone....those were left in the chair on the train.  So I was left standing on the station platform with no identification and no way of communicating to anyone that I might need help.
3. In my arrogance I thought that I could handle what I needed to handle by myself.  I didn't need anyone because I had this all figured out in my head.  Well NOT!  I screamed at the train and ran to the end of the platform until it was no longer in  sight.

I awakened with my heart racing, flushed and feeling lost.  I was trying to figure out what the dream meant.  I immediately said that I was going to blog about it, but I still hadn't made sense out of it.  What did the dream mean?  All I knew was that I had jumped off too quickly and was ultimately left behind.

Later in the week, my husband and I received a thank you note and an engraved wooden gift from a former student that said "Find the Joy in the Journey".  My mind drifted back to the dream and the train.  Hmmm....Find the Joy in the Journey?!  Suddenly it all made sense to me.  I have been going around trying to jump off the local train because it seems to be going too slowly.  If I were on the express train or the fast track, I'd have the money that I wanted, the career/ job/ business that satisfies me, no family drama, the dog would greet me and kiss my feet (oh yeah, Arby already does that!)....everything would be wonderful (or so I thought). BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT GOD INTENDS FOR ME OR FOR YOU.   There is a process that all of us need to go through and we MUST be patient.

The point about the two trains is that the destination doesn't change.  The end of the line is the same for both the local and the express trains.  The thing is many of us get so wound up in the notion that we were supposed to have arrived YESTERDAY; when God is saying "slow your roll"  there are some things that I need you to see along the way.  So many of us are so eager to do our own thing and follow our own agenda, that we are willing to jump off at any stop because we think 'out there' is better than what we're experiencing 'in here'.  My standing on the platform crying and being left behind was an indication that when you don't follow the process, you are on your own.  Yes, the local train might take a little longer but maybe God has someone that He needs you to meet and minister to on stop #4.  Perhaps there's a blessing for you on stop #7, that you'll need at the end of the line.  If you are in a rush to be on the express train however, you will miss out on all of these experiences.

Our lives should be about setting our minds on the ultimate goal, but learning how to find joy in the journey no matter how long it takes.  Finding good people along the journey is also a good way to stay on track.  Find a trusted friend whom you can share it with, so when you do need to jump off for a split second, there is someone there looking our for you and can call for backup, if you need help.  Stop isolating yourself thinking that you have all of the answers.  Ma'am, Sir... go take a seat, because you don't.  God created us to rely on him, the conductor, to get us to our final destination; but He has also provided you with some great treasures on the local train.  So sit back,  relax, close your eyes and enjoy the ride...Find Joy in the Journey.  I'd much rather do that than standing on the platform and crying as I'm being left behind.

Now walk it out...

Minutes of Silence; Moments of Praise- Soulful Sunday

I am a part of a fitness accountability group, which I unofficially call the #selfcare sisters.  We have made it our mission to eat well, move daily and live purposefully while holding each other accountable.  Periodically, we exchange motivational text messages, recipes, fitness challenges and selfies taken in the gym.  This week one of the sisters shared a devotional with us.  I honestly don't remember what the scripture was or the daily inspirational message, but something caught my attention at the end of the reading.  When I sent it back to the ladies, I created my hashtags and told them that I felt a blog in my spirit.
#minutesofsilence
momentsofpraise

This week I picked up a book that I'd purchased last year or the year before.  It was a mandala coloring book for adults.  Recently I've felt the need to find a space to focus and relax.  One night as I was sitting in bed, I put on my headphones to listen to meditation music and began coloring a page of the coloring book.  I noticed an immediate shift in my aura.  Once I allowed the coloring and the music to take me to my inner sanctuary, I became one with the page.  It didn't matter what was happening around me, so long as I sat still and focused on the page.  Once the coloring was completed, a sense of peace and tranquility came over me. Shortly thereafter, I began to thank God for the opportunity to sit alone in my own thoughts.  It was then that I recognized that my minutes of silence had turned into moments of praise.

Isn't that what life is all about? God has created us to work, but also to REST.  Even God himself rested on the 7th day at the beginning of creation. It seems that we have taken to the notion that the more we work, the better we are. But what we find is that instead of being productive, we are actually just making ourselves busy.  Busyness does not equal productivity.  I believe that God created us to take some time for ourselves to hear his voice in the stillness.  It is in those minutes of silence, that we recognize just who God is and how much the love of God sustains us.  Once that finally sinks in, our stillness turns into a sanctuary and we have now created moments of praise.

So I challenge you this week to find a few minutes to sit and reflect in silence.  There are 1, 440 minutes in one day; surely you can find 5 of those 1,440 to sit in silence and meditate.  I can almost guarantee that if you take at least 5 minutes of silence, it will turn into 1, 435 minutes of praise. Your entire day will begin to shift when you set aside time for you and God.
Find YOUR thing that allows you to reflect and simply acknowledge how good God has been to you.

Now walk it out...

Soulful Sundays with Dr. Sharri - The 2017 Series

HAPPY NEW YEAR! 

Wow!  It's January 1, 2017.

One Word ........................... Consistent

I just re-read the book One Word by Dan Britton, Jimmy Page and Jon Gordon.  I had been thinking the last month that I needed to be more consistent in my blogging.   Last year was a doozy.  Our family situation changed and the space that I used to consistently go for solitude and reflection was being occupied.  Oftentimes I allowed my lack of private space to impede my flow of creativity.  One thing came out of that situation was that I realized that I cannot allow my location to change my inspiration and dedication. (Everything is a learning process.) Indeed the Lord has been showing me this in the last 3 months, because now He just wakes me early in the AM and we converse for hours while I'm still lying in bed.  (2 AM is not my ideal time, but the Lord and I have been having some great conversations.)

Just this week, before re-reading the book, the Lord impressed upon my heart the word CONSISTENT.  Every time I thought about blogging or writing, that one word came up over and over.  I used to just hang out with God and then start writing.  I could have a message on Monday, two on Wednesday and then not again until 3 weeks later.  There was neither rhyme nor reason to my method; I wrote whenever I felt the urge to share a message.  Those of you who subscribe to the blog, never knew when you'd receive another email.  This bothered me, but I didn't know what to do or how to fix it.  I was so stuck in my own "I can't because....." , that I lost sight of  "I must because this is what God has called me to do".  

So I am back in 2017, because my one word is CONSISTENT.  This word means different things in each area of my life, but for this group it means that I will consistently post on Sundays.  It will be called  "Soulful Sunday with Dr. Sharri", because the messages that I type come from my time alone with God and in reflection. They are straight from my soul.  Get it?  I hope so and I pray that you will tune in every Sunday.   Feel free to leave a comment or question at the end of each blog.  If it blesses your Soul, then I invite you to share it with a friend.

Be blessed and I'll see you next Sunday.

Now walk it out......