To Thine Own Spiritual Self Be True

On Saturday, I had an amazing opportunity to share light and love with young women of color at the University of Oklahoma.  The conference was called S.O.U.L. conference.  It stands for Sisters of OU Living, Loving, Learning and Leading.

      My topic was about recognizing the spiritual side of you.  How can young women take care of their spiritual side as they pursue their education?  Do you even need to recognize spirituality as you're matriculating through school?  Well of course.  Here are a few highlights that I shared with those beautiful young sisters, that I believe will be helpful to you as you walk in your purpose.

 We are all spiritual beings. 
 

     I like the scene in the movie Avatar where they are all around the tree seemingly praying and connected to one another.  You hear weeping and wailing…the cries and prayers of the people.  When my husband and I saw this we almost started to shout....we said "that’s just like church".  

In the movie Avatar there are many scenes that communicate the idea of the plant and animal life of Pandora being in a unified relationship. Each animal is equipped with an antenna, or a queue, that allows the animals to communicate with each other and that the whole planet.  They are able to communicate because they are connected.  I get goose bumps when I see that scene.  It’s almost like an awakening that I feel with the realization that we are all connected in some way.

     Now wouldn’t that be lovely to be able to see through the mess of people and see their soul.  Sometimes we’re so engrossed with the external shell that we forget that somewhere behind all of the toughness, meanness, bitterness and façade that there is an innocence or openness.  The problem is that oftentimes we’re unwilling to see it in others because we’re unable to see it in ourselves.  

I can’t see the goodness in my sister, because somewhere along the way I  was told that females were shifty.

I can’t see the innocence in my sister, because I was molested and my innocence was taken away and now I'm suspicious of everyone.

I can’t see the confidence in my sister, because I am sensing my own low self-esteem and fear.

So rather than trying to make a connection and being authentic, I put up a wall and keep people out. But then I go further to find people or a circle of friends who don’t challenge me but help me to feel comfortable in my own mess and shadiness.
     As women of color, we have a long history of connection with each other.  Africans, in their veneration or worship of the ancestors, believe that they are connected to those who’ve gone before.  Not only am I connected but also I’m grateful for the connection and remember and honor them.  Without them, I wouldn’t be here.

     I have been on this wellness kick with a group of accountability partners and in the FB group that I started, called “Parenting on Purpose University”.  The idea of wellness is paramount.  We realize that as my mother-in-law used to always tell me when she saw me running around like a crazy woman….”Baby you can’t give from an empty cup”.  Which translates, Girl slow down and pace yourself. 

You can’t give energy that you don’t have.

You can’t show love that is not there.

You can’t offer compassion to others, if you don’t have any for yourself.

If you’re depleted, you have nothing to offer anyone else.

We use the hashtag #selfcare.

·       #selfcare means taking the time to celebrate you

·       #selfcare means investing in your own growth & development

·       #selfcare means to make sure you take care of your body, because it has to carry you and all of your issues around

·      #selfcare means to revel in the quiet time and stolen moments away from the noise and drama

     #Soulcare is slightly different from selfcare.  Selfcare is about taking care of yourself, while soulcare is about nurturing the innermost part of YOU.  Soulcare is about finding the connection to yourself, by finding a connection with God so that you can work at  the top of your potential.  Soulcare is saying to God, " without you I am nothing", so I acknowledge you in everything that I do and accomplish.

1. Clear the Clutter!

      Let people go that no longer suit you.  Sometimes we think that we have to hang on to people just because they were our 'ride-or-die' 2 years ago.    I challenged every young woman in the room to pull out her phone and delete one phone number of a person who is adding nothing to her life.  That's the practical side, but there is a mental, emotional and spiritual side as well.  Delete those thoughts in your mind that no longer suit you.  Don't hang on to the lies that you may have been telling yourself for years.  Lies like: I'm not good enough; I'm not pretty enough; I'm a woman and can't achieve.  Lies, lies, lies......please let them go.

2. Align yourself with positive thoughts and positive people. 

     Now that you are clearing those thoughts, replace them with positive thoughts.  "I am the head and not the tail.  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  Greater is the God within me than he that's in the world."  Now your job is to find a positive circle of friends who can LOVE you just the way you are, while they are yet pushing you to be the best version of yourself.

3. Renew the Commitment to be true to yourself and to God.

     Those promises that you made to yourself that you were going to work hard and love even harder; go back and fulfill them.   You promised to always be authentic....start today. You promised to give God thanks for all that's been bestowed upon you.....so begin living a life of gratitude.

4. Embrace and Express the new soulful you!

     Embrace the fact that you are growing into your greatness and walking into your purpose.  Don't be ashamed about it.....walk in it  and be glad.  You've worked hard to get here, now share it with someone else along the way.  Your story matters! (as one of the other speakers mentioned)

Finally, be true to yourself and true to the God that's within you. Take care of your soul!

Now walk it out....