Clean out the fridge....it's time to purge 2016

     This morning I woke up early, mulling over in my head when and where I was going to get my nails done today.  What better way to end the year than to make sure my hands and feet were cleared of the dirt and grime and prepared to walk into the new year.  I laid there mentally mapping the day, deciding what I would do with the boys, how I'd help Byron prepare for the 2 services and when I was going to begin cooking the black-eyed peas.  (Because of course it's a MUST to begin the new year with a pot of black-eyed peas. As a little girl, I was told that this would bring good luck into the new year.)  Whether I believe it or not, it's still a family tradition.  So those smoked turkey legs are just waiting to jump in the crock-pot with the peas....they have a great relationship.

     I finally walked into the kitchen to eat a bowl of cereal, read a magazine and just kill time before heading to the nail salon.  When I opened the refrigerator to get the rice milk, I stopped long enough to realize that the refrigerator was full of STUFF.  Leftover food in containers, new groceries from yesterdays trip to the market, bottles of condiments, jars of pickles, yogurt and fruit cups and plenty of plastic storage bags, that I use to save space, were just staring back at me screaming HELP.

     Chandler had mentioned the other day, upon opening the refrigerator, that something smelled funny.  I ignored him and kept moving about the kitchen.  I was probably preparing for the next meal and didn't have to time to investigate. I continued doing what I had been doing and didn't give it a second thought.  For some reason this morning, as I pulled out the milk, I paused a little longer than normal.  I didn't smell anything, but I did notice the chaos.  Yesterdays new groceries couldn't rest properly on the shelves because there were so many other things preventing it.  It was at that moment, that I decided to purge.  I moved the trashcan directly in front of the refrigerator and began to open and dump the containers and toss all of those food storage bags.  I could feel the cold air circulating more freely in the fridge.  The deeper I got into the refrigerator,  my sense of smell became a bit more keen. (Oh Lord, where did this come from?  How long has that been in here?  Oh crap....this must have been what that boy was smelling.)  Don't judge me...you know you could probably find a piece of foil or container, in the back of your fridge, that's been there for weeks.

     But the tossing of items was not good enough for me.  As I purged items, I rearranged the remaining items on the shelves, only to realize that I should probably take out each shelf and wipe it down.  Slowly but surely,  I began to see progress.  I combined similar condiment items, threw out salad dressings that apparently no one likes, wiped down each jar and rearranged them in a manner that you could find things easily upon opening the doors.  I removed every shelf and washed them off in the sink.  I pulled out fruit and vegetable trays and checked to make sure they were still in good condition.  (Lawd Jesus, as I'm typing this I just realized that I didn't even look inside the freezer, which sits on the bottom.  Doggone it...I still have work to do.  I'm on it, as soon as I finish this.)

     I didn't share this with you to tell you that I'm a slob, because I'm not!  As I was cleaning, something began to resonate in my spirit.  You need to purge, before you can prepare!  Before you even step into 2017, there are some things that you must toss from 2016.  There are some unhealthy relationships, some 'stinking thinking', some annoying habits, some seemingly never ending cycles and some lies that have become self- fulfilling prophesies that you have got to leave behind.  Before I could even begin preparing the black-eyed peas, I needed to be sure that I had all of the necessary ingredients.  However since the refrigerator was overflowing with stuff, I couldn't clearly see what I needed.

That's what this 'life thing' is all about......learning when to let go.  Now you better believe, when the original meals were cooked, they smelled and tasted delicious.  They were so good that we decided to keep the leftovers in those containers and storage bags.  But think about it, everyday we don't eat leftovers, I cook again and then place those goodies in the fridge too.  After awhile the fridge overflows with leftover food.  Hmmm?

    What have you been holding on to and refusing to let go?  It's not that it was bad initially, but after not nurturing it, it became stale, moldy and ridden with bacteria.  It had a purpose, but now it's time to let it go.  Toss it and sterilize everything around it!  On this last day of 2016, make up your mind to purge those negative thoughts and negative people.  Decide that you will not respond in 2017, the way you did in 2016.  Forgive yourself for holding on to some things far too long, so you can make room for the new groceries and/or blessings that are headed your way.

     Even as I bring this to a close, I'm reminded that this is a daily process.  Cleaning out the refrigerator was a GOOD thing, but as I mentioned earlier, I forgot about the freezer and must now go and rearrange that.  Perhaps there are some things in the freezer that might need to be tossed OR there are some good things that can be moved back into the refrigerator  and thawed for future consumption.  The bottom line is, I have to check.  I can't ignore it!  I can't act like it's not a part of the kitchen refrigeration unit.  It might me take me a little more time, but it will be time well spent.

Before you plow into 2017 with all of your new ideas, plans and resolutions, take this last day of 2016 to reflect and rearrange a few things.  Purge, then prepare!

Now walk it out....... (Pray for your girl as I walk back to the kitchen to clean the freezer, start my black-eyed peas and then go get my nails done.)

Enjoy a safe and happy New Year's Eve!

Wake up........Get in Position!

"Stop waiting on the approval of others to be who you are.........Get in position!"

I was just about to post this message on my Facebook page, when I heard my dog get off of the couch.  Oftentimes when he knows that I'm sitting at the dining room table, he will come in the room, sit right by me, nudging me with his nose until I begin to rub him under his chin.  This time Arby did something differently.   He tiptoed past me, slowed his pace as he approached the door, stepped down one-step into the man-cave and stopped.  When he realized that I understood his actions, he looked back at me with approval, and stood there waiting for me to react. Interpreting his code, I got up from the computer, stepped into the man cave, said "good boy"  and we walked side by side towards the back door.
This dog has me trained!  He needed to go into the backyard to relieve himself. The funny thing is......it's 4 am and had I not woken up he would have held it until I would have awakened much later.  I suppose if it had gotten too bad for him, he would have walked into the bedroom and let out a tiny cry until I'd stir out of my sleep to open the back door. (Yes, he does that too.)

His actions quickly made me think about this past weekend and the "Mother's Night Out" event.  The weekend was phenomenal.  The selected mothers were so grateful and appreciative of the kindness and generosity of strangers.  We listened to one testimonial after another about how timely this event was.  Most of them just needed a reprieve from their everyday lives to recognize that they, like Mary Magdalene at the tomb (John 20:11-18), were crying without realizing that Jesus has been standing there the entire time.  Mary was looking at the "situation inside of the tomb" not recognizing that the Savior was already outside of the tomb waiting for her so she could run and tell the others that he was risen. 

On September 28th I did a Facebook Live post to tell the world about my assignment to bless 10 mothers.  I needed to  have the accountability partners to actually make me follow through with the task at hand.  Six weeks later, the event took place and it was done in such style, elegance and class thanks to an AMAZING group of volunteers.  No one could have expected an event of this magnitude to take place in such a short amount of time.

I was talking with a sister friend yesterday and I mentioned that oftentimes the doors that we are able to walk through or the tables where we are privileged to sit are NOT for us, but rather to be a blessing to others.  I didn't have the funds to do this event myself, but God told me to open my mouth to let others know about the assignment.
When I opened my mouth, God opened his hand and the Mother's Night Out event took place.  (With only a $10 difference in the total budget and the amount donated.)    #wonthedoit

Arby's simple gesture reminded me that there is always someone waiting for us to get into position.  There was no way possible that Arby could have gotten into the backyard without my assistance. (He's too big for a doggy door.)  However when he heard that I was fully awake and in the proper place, he was smart enough to get off the couch and give me a sign.  There are signs that are going up all around you that people are in need.  But many won't receive that help because you're too busy playing around, not recognizing your God-given assignment.  My simple words to you....WAKE UP and GET IN POSITION!

You know in your heart what God has told you to do; yet you sit in silence waiting for the perfect time.  Hello ma'am...hello sir......there is no perfect time.  The time is NOW and God's waiting on you.  He's sitting outside of the tomb, just chillin', while you are looking inside of the tomb crying. Dry your eyes and hear his voice.  He's talking to you!

When you get in position......lives will be touched.
When you get in position......generational curses will be lifted.
When you get in position......others will be encouraged to want better for themselves.
When you get in position......some child will want to achieve due to your steadfastness.

Ludacris released a song in 2003, Stand Up....."When I move you move (just like that)" 
When YOU get in position......people will develop the boldness to step into THEIR position just like that.

Thank you Arby for this morning's illustration and thank you God for your assignment.

If you're ready to get into position, wake up and tell the Lord Yes!

 Now walk it out........................

Mother's Night Out November 11-12, 2016

God's assignment has been blessed by God and is totally paid for.  Thank you for trusting me with God's vision and your resources.
These women, mothers and daughters of the most high God will never be the same.

If God told you to work your assignment....you better WALK IT OUT......

God's assignment for me

I want to share a video that I shared last week about God's newest assignment for my life to bless around 10 mothers, grandmothers, foster or adoptive mothers.

Please join in prayer with me as I step into what God is going to do for these women through my obedience and your sacrifice.

Just go to Facebook and type in Sharri Coleman.  It was a public post from September 28th, so you should be able to see it.

This is the point that I really............walk it out!

SECURE THE HOME...1st

All day I've been wrestling with these three words, "Secure the Home".

 This morning I was cleaning up the bedroom and trying to get dressed for the day, after folding clothes and making sure the people in the house were fed. (A normal busy Saturday morning.) I realized that I was totally at peace.  Something that would normally have rattled me, didn't affect me at all. In fact, I'd made a conscious decision not to sweat it.  I can recall so many times in the past, when faced with too many things at once, I would become internally frantic. Now I was usually cool on the outside, but internally I had an attitude,  was short-tempered and in a state of worry about the "what-ifs".  Today was different and I sensed it!

After that realization, I could hear these three words in my spirit, "secure the home".  It wasn't an audible voice, but I responded with a "what did you say?" inquisitive look on my face.  Just as gently and peacefully, as the first time, I heard those three words resonating again, "secure the home".  Those words were like the vibrations of low notes resonating from a cello or bass well after the bow has been lifted off the string.  It was a sound that rang in my ears and shook me to the core.  It wasn't scary, but I knew that it hadn't come from me.  It was the Lord sweetly saying for me to "secure the home".

Although I'd heard it and felt it in my spirit, I hadn't truly digested what it actually meant.  It would take an entire day of conversations, text messages, phone calls, face-to-face dialogue and social media scrolling to fully appreciate what those three words meant for me.  We live in a society where everyone wants to be recognized and considered important for getting the most 'likes'  or for having the largest number of followers on all the social media platforms. They share with you the most important details of their lives.  You usually see their highs in print, but very rarely their honest lows.  Sometimes, if you're not careful, you will begin to judge your life based on the "false" life of others.

Fast forward 2 weeks....

Well it has obviously taken more than one day to digest the true message.  I am now sitting in the middle of my bed on a Sunday evening, two weeks later after writing the opening of this blog.  It has taken a few more experiences within the last two weeks for me to completely understand the weight and significance of that voice still resonating inside.

This message is a message of settling into the seat which God has prepared for you.  As our women's ministry is preparing for our Empowerment Conference entitled, "Preparing for Uncharted Territory: Mind, Body and Soul" it became so clear to me that God won't send you out to do the 'next best thing' until you can honor your current position or situation.  By this I do not mean to settle for where you are in life, because I believe that you should always live with some type of expectation; however, you have the opportunity to see where you are as a blessing.  When my husband and I were dating in college and began to get serious, we talked and dreamed about how we would spend the rest of our lives together.  We said that we never wanted to raise latch-key kids.  His church and my medical practice would somehow be in close proximity, so that our children would either go to the church with him or with me to the medical practice after school, then we'd all go home together as a family in the evening.They would never have to let themselves in the house as young children because one of us would be there.

Well he got the church, but I never opened the medical practice.  But you know what, to this day, our kids are not latch-key kids.  When I taught HS Chemistry and then began teaching at the University, I always had time to cook a full breakfast, send them off to school, do pick-ups, cook dinner and spend time with them.  They never had to wait for me to get home from work and let themselves in the house. (So many of you have to do that and I commend you for your hard work, intense scheduling and sacrifice.)  I didn't realize that I was getting exactly what I had dreamed about with Byron well over 20 years ago.  Though I have been frustrated so many times within this past year, I realized that my frustration was because I was so busy trying to "keep up" and secure myself, my future and my career that I had lost sight of the gifts that God has given me. God has given me an absolutely amazing family, who need me in the role that I play at the moment.  It's not that God is not willing to do wonderful things to secure my career, but He simply wants to know that he can trust me to make sure my home is anchored first, before I move into what He has planned for me.

What have you been frustrating your will over?  You keep asking the same questions, " God why not me?,  Why not now? When will I get mine? Do you see me God?". God will continue to sit in silence until you begin to learn the lesson of appreciating your current location.  There are some things that you need to experience and learn from today that will prepare you for the tremendous blessings that God has planned for you next month or 5 years from now.

So today, I am content in knowing that this season will not last forever; but while I'm here, I am to make sure that my home is secure. Be sure that my husband knows that I have his back; that my kids know that they can talk to me about anything; that they are all well fed and cared for and that the boys know how to pray.  I need to be sure that they see me cry and rejoice....and know how to show compassion.  We are preparing our boys to "grow and go" each day.  THIS is indeed a full time job and a blessing!  For none of this do I receive a paycheck, but my rewards are priceless as I watch them develop into strong, young, gifted and compassionate black men.

No longer will I wrestle with the thoughts that "I'm not doing what I went to school for" (and paid good money for, if I may add); but rather I will continue to embrace where God has planted me and the assignment that He's given me.  I WILL SECURE MY HOME FIRST!  For those of you who work outside of the home, the same applies to you.  Securing the home is about making sure you appreciate where you are at the moment, instead of pining away for where you think you ought to be.  Securing the home is living in the moment and appreciating the journey.  Where you are right now is only a part of the greater journey, so make a decision to embrace it and then grow from it.

Now walk it out!

Generational Blessings

My heart is so full!  I am so blessed.

My very 1st blog post was a testimony and tribute to my parents, James and Nelda Mattison.  Three months later,  Mommy had transitioned.  It has been 3 1/2 years that she has been gone and I miss her dearly.  However, I must say that I have gotten to know my father at a much deeper level.  He was always a praying man, a loving husband and great father, but I have learned through recent years that he is so much more than that.  This dude is quick witted and full of life.  He is a walking ball of encouragement and smiles.

This past week he's been visiting and I've just found even more reason to love him.  I loved watching him pull both of our boys to the side and speak life over them.  His favorite line, "it's going to be alright; you'll make it".  I remember when Byron and I got married, we were ready to get away from our parents so we could finally grow up.   Once we began to have children, we quickly realized the longing to have grandparents close by.  This trip with Daddy has been heartwarming.  I've watched him walk around the neighborhood for exercise, love on Arby (dog), encourage the boys, talk about Mommy and their life together and discuss his future travel plans.  He said I work to travel...and I love it.

As he prepares to head back home in the morning, I am sitting here just thanking God for the lesson in his visit.   He and Mommy were married for 54 years and 14 days and they were good to each other.  You would think that after being with someone for so long that you would eventually just sit down and wait for your time to come.  Daddy has shown me that this scenario does not have to be the reality.  Although his life partner is gone, the Lord spared his life and he has chosen to live and do it well.

This is my encouragement to you, that no matter what the situation looks like, you can still choose to live.  It might be painful to suffer any type of loss, but God has a way of breathing new life into you.  It's totally up to you whether or not you choose to accept the gift.  As I watch Daddy continue to expand his horizons, I am encouraged to do the same!  I will not allow a NO to deter me.  I will not allow a loss or disappointment to cripple me.  I will not allow a distraction to overtake me. I will not allow death to overtake me.  I choose to live.  I choose to try new things.  I choose to experience all the joys that life has to offer.  Thanks Daddy for reminding me that life is exactly what you make of it.  Thank you for praying over your grandsons and speaking life into them...they are the next generation.

Now choose to live and love as you "walk it out"....

From one generation to the next...God-fearing men.

Daddy & the boys

SHIFT with Sharri

Check out this video!
https://youtu.be/ENCqzcZ4XGQ

#SHIFTwithSharri and change at the cellular level.
#weekofgratitude
Let's focus and set our minds on that which is positive.
What are you thankful for today?
Write below..................

God's gravy to my mashed potatoes

     As a little girl I remember visiting my grandparents home, George and Clara Beckett, at least once a week. Before we were allowed to touch our food, Pop-Pop would offer the prayer and each of us had to quote a Bible scripture.  The thick aroma of whatever dish Grandmommy had whipped up, was in the air, but you dare not raise a fork until you said your scripture.  I'm sure many of us at times tried to get away with "Jesus wept", but they weren't having it. I honestly can't remember the verse of anyone else except Pop-Pop, which was Psalms 8:1 " Oh Lord, our Lord how excellent is your name above all of the earth".  It's been high school since I've heard his natural voice, as he's in glory now; but I can surely hear him in my spirit.  Even now at 44, when I hear or say that particular scripture I sense a quickening in my spirit.  I remember how he'd smile after reciting the word, which many times led him directly into telling you how good God had been to him.  My God! What an awesome memory!

     A few weeks ago, as I was opening up our Women's Ministry meeting, the Lord laid on my heart to have the women give their favorite Bible verse and to exlain why it was their favorite.  This was an ice breaker exercise, but it quickly became a testimony service of sorts.  The women had to reflect on the Word, locate the exact place in the Bible and write it down on an index card.  I gave them one minute to introduce themselves to one person and give their explanation. After that minute, we introduced ourselves to another sister and so on until we had met everyone in the room. It was interesting to hear and watch the women become bolder in their declarations as they traveled from sister to sister.  Oftentimes we quote scripture because we've heard a preacher say it before and we've just taken bits and pieces of it to fit our lives.  But what happens when we actually hide the scripture in our heart?

     This question takes me back to my grandparent's kitchen table and my own Bible verse.  As a young girl, my scripture before the meal was Psalms 34:1, "I will bless the Lord at all times, His praise shall continually be in my mouth".  It wasn't until that women's ice breaker that I realized that I had actually become that very scripture.  As I relayed the story to Stephanie (the 1st sister to whom I recited my scripture) about my grandfather, my heart became full because I had actualized the scripture in my life.  What began at the kitchen table, carried me throughout high school; traveled to college and medical school with me; walked down the aisle alongside of me; was in the delivery room with both of my sons; kept me from the brink of divorce; sat on my shoulders as I cried over bills that I couldn't pay; rejoiced with me as I experienced great triumphs in my life; comforted me as I stood by my mother's bedside; guided me as I walked off the job; sat in the waiting room when Courtland underwent surgery at 4 1/2 weeks old and again when Chandler had ACL surgical repair this past December.  This scripture rises early with me as I do morning devotion and many times dries my tears at the end of the night.  "I WILL BLESS THE LORD AT ALL TIMES, HIS PRAISE SHALL CONTINUALLY BE IN MY MOUTH".  That is my scripture and it is me!!!

    As I recounted the brief story to the sister, I realized how God gives me grace daily to see His glory in most situations.  Although many of the things aforementioned, have brought great fear and trepidation, God enables me to keep a level head and continue to bless Him in the midst of it.  So even in my tragic stories, I am able to see God's blessing hidden just beneath the surface. I understand and do not take it for granted!  It's definitely a gift and a blessing from God and it all began as a little girl.  I didn't know that I was speaking into and over my life as I teenager at my grandparents dinner table, when all I really wanted was the meatloaf and mashed potatoes.  At a young age, God was giving me the perfect recipe to make my own gravy.  At times the gravy was a little lumpy, so He showed me how to "bless him at all times" by using a wire whisk to break up the clumps.  At times, God has had to put me through a strainer so I could get the lumps out of the gravy as I continued to praise Him.  At other times, God said the only way that I could smooth out this gravy was by shaking things up a little, so He mixed me in the blender.  I'm good gravy now!  I've been tested and tried in the fire and I'm still able to praise Him.

    This past weekend, I witnessed the actualization of scripture yet again.  But this time it was not for me...it was for my elder son.  This past weekend as we celebrated my In-laws 50th wedding anniversary, Chandler was given the opportunity to play a FREE round of golf on a $30,000 membership golf course.  The next day, when he began to thank the individual and express just how much he loved the course and enjoyed playing the previous day, he was given another FREE round.  Are you kidding me?  This 16-year old boy was afforded two opportunities to do what he loves to do for FREE that so many adults would just die trying to achieve this.  It isn't luck!  It isn't the fact that he has such a gleaming smile and booming personality, although he is cute (just like his Momma........I'm just sayin').  It isn't the fact that his grandfather is such a great man and makes friends wherever he goes, although this too is true.  Chandler was given this amazing opportunity, because of a scripture that I began praying over both of my sons this past year.  Luke 2:52 talks about the growth of Jesus after his parents lost him and then found him again in the temple.   Jesus was with the elders listening and asking questions as a young boy.  He was curious and people were astonished that this young man understood so much at his young age.  Rather than just take that scripture and say 'good for Jesus', that's a nice story,  I began inserting the names of my boys in that same scripture.

     So it reads like this, "And (Chandler and Courtland) increased in wisdom and stature, and in FAVOR with God and Men".  The Holy Spirit brought this scripture to the forefront of my mind, as I laid in bed early this morning.  God revealed to me that He was blessing Chandler because I chose to stand on the Word and pray it over the boys.  This scripture has become the gravy to Chandler's mashed potatoes.  I am eternally grateful! Courtland better hold on, because he's walking in favor too.

    Why do I tell this story?  Because now it's time for me to instruct my sons, so they will make their own gravy.  Our home will now adopt quoting a scripture before every meal.  I will go through scripture with them individually to help find one that they'd like to share at family meals.  It may change over the years as they get older and experience God differently, but for now I just want to lay a solid foundation.

So here's my interpretation of Proverbs 22:6.................feel free to use it accordingly.

"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old; he will make his own gravy".

                                                                                           Now walk it out.....

It's summertime and school is out....what are YOU teaching your children?

Everyone knows that during that last week of school, all parties in the house are eagerly awaiting the school bell to ring for the final time.  The kids can hardly sleep at night, in anticipation of the last day and parents are equally excited that the routine gets to switch up just a little.  For one or maybe even two weeks, the entire home moves around in this state of euphoria.  But right about the end of week 4, the eye twinkles begin to fade, it becomes more difficult to wake everyone up and the parents are saying under their breath,  "I can't wait until school starts".

Now for those of you who had planned ahead and had each week filled with day camps, overnight camps, family visits or summer jobs then you already have this thing figured it.  Woohoo! Good for you!  However there are so many of us who had activities planned, but left a few weeks up to chance.  If that's you, just nod your head!  So what have you down with the 'down time'?

During the school year, admittedly so, many parents have it easy.  While we are working, the kids are at school.  Many of them have after-school activities that keep them preoccupied, until we can get home to make dinner.  Then the rest of the night is usually spent doing homework and preparing for the next day.  This cycle continues until Friday night, when everyone in the house is thankful for the weekend and the routine changes slightly. We have grown so accustomed to someone else teaching our children, that all we really do during the school year is monitor behavior and check grades.  Rather than be proactive in our homes, we are reacting to the system.   Just think about it... during the peak hours of the day, someone else is speaking into your child's life.

.............Wait for it................Wait for it..............OUCH ..............That hurt didn't it?!..............

So the summer time exposes the fact that as parents we have to constantly be engaged with what our children are doing.  We have the opportunity to really pour into them by taking them to the library or bookstore in the evening. (Unless you're an educator, you still have to work.  You don't get summers off... I totally get that.)  Do you require that your children read books and then do age appropriate activities like: draw a picture, talk about the book or write a short report?  Do you try to find educational activities throughout the city?  Even if you're on a family vacation, do you still go to  a monument or museum in the visiting city to expose your children to culture?  If you have not done any of this, I encourage you to get started.  THE SUMMER IS NOT YET OVER!

There is still time to really engage with your children!!!  I totally understand that you need a break periodically, so why not barter  daycare services with a friend?  Say something like,  "I'll take your kids for 2 days, while you have mine for the following 2 days".  (That's only one overnight stay.) It's during those times that you and your children have the best of both worlds.  When your children are away, you have a moment to refresh and breathe.  Upon their return, you are fully engaged and ready to teach, love, and spend quality time with them.  The children win on all days.  Remember that they still need a schedule. Be careful not to have too many days when they stay up past their normal bedtime.  Allow them to play video games, but you better make sure that they have equal time going outside, reading, playing an educational computer game or just playing with toys. (Side note: do you remember the days that kids just loved to play with actual toys? Geesh!)  

The point of this message is that we, as parents,  must remember to PARENT.  Parenting is not about spanking or spoiling, but rather about engaging and equipping.  You are your child's first teacher.  They are watching you!

• When you're kind to someone else....your children learn compassion.
• When the cashier gives you too much change and you return it,  your children learn lessons of honesty and character.
• When you apologize, your children learn humility.
• When you make a mistake, your children realize that life is not over even after they mess up.
• When you insure that your kids are still learning throughout the summer, your children recognize that you're invested in them and have expectations.
• When you turn your laptop and cell phone off and talk to them, your children sense that they are a priority.

Notice that none of what I mentioned cost any money, but it does take precious time and intention.  Summertime is not just time off, but rather "all hands on deck", always in a state of preparation. 
Let me encourage each of you to look at your child, grandchild, nieces and nephews, cousins or neighbors as worthy subjects to invest in.  They will become what we show them and expect of them.  If we expect nothing, that's exactly what we will get.

I like the Message Bible version of Proverbs 22:6.--> Point your kids in the right direction—when they’re old they won’t be lost.

Now spend quality time with your little people and walk it out........

If you are interested in weekly engagement and parenting conversations, I am personally inviting you to join my Facebook group, "Parenting on Purpose University".  

Why?  Because there is still so much more that we can learn.   Parenting is not a job, it's a journey!

 

Just a few of our little girls reading at church. 

#girlpower (although I have 2 boys)

She preached from the pulpit on Sunday, but today her casket lies before the church

     What in the World?!!!

     My heart is heavy as I type this.  This morning I will attend the funeral services for a Powerhouse of a woman today in Oklahoma City.  They said that she preached on Sunday and danced all around the pulpit and on Monday morning she had gone to be with the Lord.  I am aware of the divine providence of God, but I am in shock.  There were no reports of her being sick.  She was here one day doing God's work and gone to glory the very next day.

     She and I did not have monthly coffee dates, we didn't talk on the phone, we never emailed back and forth, but I still sense a major loss.  Although she is not in my phone contact list, whenever we saw each other throughout the City, we'd embrace, exchange pleasantries and encourage one another to keep going.  Not only did she preach at our church once or twice, but I frequented many local women's conferences where she gave the keynote address.  I'm telling you this woman could "say it & slay it" and she did it with such conviction, poise and grace.  She was simply beautiful, both inside and out.
   
     Although we weren't close, I respected who she was, the work that she did and what she represented.  She was married and co-pastored with her husband.  She had children and grandchildren.  She was an administrator at a local school.  So when you looked at her life, it appeared that she was a healthy vibrant woman in her early 50's just doing her thing.  Learning of her death really caught me off guard and has gotten me to take a look at my life more closely.

     As women, we wear so many different hats these days.  Wife, Mother/Grandmother, Business woman/ Entrepreneur, Pastor/Minister, Preacher/ Worship leader, Counselor/Coach, Encourager/Exhorter, Caregiver/ Nurturer and so much more. Oftentimes people look in amazement as we navigate these spaces, but they don't really know the story.  The feelings of heartache,  loss, fatigue, stress, under-appreciation, dismay, trepidation and anxiety never surfaces because we're so busy doing that we have forgotten how to just BE.  We've accepted the sense of tiredness as normal, when in actuality there is nothing normal about it.  ( You can say AMEN or OUCH right here!)  It's true...many times we put the needs of others before our own and never recognize our needs, desires or longings.

     I really want to do God's work and fulfill the purpose that He has for me.  Because of this declaration, I must get in tune with my mind, body and soul once again.  I've noticed that my weight has fluctuated since my husband was sick the first time.  I was so intentional about taking care of him that I forgot to really take care of myself. ( That's only partially true....walking my dog has been my exercise and stress reliever over the last 6 months. Thanks Arby!)  Next week I will make an appointment with my general practitioner just to have blood-work done....checking cholesterol, blood pressure and thyroid activity.   I've had a gift card for a massage since February and I've yet to use it.  I'm scheduling an appointment this week.  Two weeks ago, a dear friend invited me to lunch, she just poured into me and talked about maintaining a healthy life balance. She even pointed out the fact that you should be intentional when choosing restaurants.   Finding places that are peaceful and calming, increases your mindfulness during eating, which can aid in proper digestion.

     As busy women, we should not only be good to others, but it's so important to be good to ourselves.  I encourage you today to take time for yourself and share the love, but also recognize when you need to keep some things for yourself.  My mother-in-law always says, " you can't give from an empty cup".  Make sure that you are full and not depleted.  In case you realize that you are about to run on empty, reach out to a friend for prayer and conversation, so you can be refilled.  Powerhouse Women....let's be that "safe place to land" for each other.

     As I prepare to get dressed to go celebrate the life of one of God's jewels,  I am mindful that I must protect my mind, body and soul as I do the work that God has called me to do.  I encourage you to do the same.  Pleasing God should never mean that you sacrifice YOU, so remember to be good to yourself today.  You deserve it!

Now walk it out...

Too many lines in the water

In an earlier post, I mentioned that my husband and I had taken up fishing.  After his bouts of illness, we needed to find a way to de-stress.  The first time that he and I went out, we caught four catfish and it blew us away.  There was a pause the next time because he didn't go with me...no fish on the line.  The next time I accompanied him, we caught 22 crappie or perch. (I still don't know what they were.) They were so small that we probably should have just done catch & release.  However, we were so proud, took pictures and went back to the house to try and clean and cook them.

On any given day, my husband will stop by the fishing & hunting stores and sporting good stores in our area to find the latest "stink bait" or the jig with the most shiny colors.  It's pretty hilarious to watch him get so excited. We've even taken our younger son fishing with us and as soon as he would throw out the line, he'd want to retrieve it almost immediately. ( For him, it was about casting the perfect line.  That was funny to watch also, because I see how much these 2 fellas are really alike.)

Yesterday was a beautiful day and we ventured out to find another "honey hole" as anglers call it; we'd heard of a few good places to catch fish.  When we arrived, it was so serene and beautiful.  We listened to the calls and cries of the different birds, the buzzing sounds of bees and flies and Lord-knows-what-else flying around our heads and the gentle swishes of the water as fish leaped out of the water periodically.  Well I'm sad to report that none of these leaping fish leaped into our fishing net or got caught on the hook.  We were there for hours and caught NOTHING.  We were still happy and peaceful, ate lunch, drove back home, took showers, rested, got the family situated for the evening and decided to go back outdoors for yet another fishing excursion.  This time there was a little more activity.  We visited a local lake where there are biking and walking trails and people for days.  There was so much activity here, but it was still great to be outdoors to experience the beauty of nature.  (I was a little salty however because the area where we set up shop didn't have 2 trees close enough to hang my hammock.  I can't believe that I'm really becoming a country 'outdoorsy' girl.)  Anyway, we had 3-4 lines in the water, with different types of bait to catch different fish.  The catfish combo line had stink bait to attract the deeper catfish, so we added heavier weights to sink closer to the bottom. Two of the other lines had worms that I'd threaded on the hook to catch different types of fish and he had one line with a jig attached.  This jig moves all the time and makes noises under water to attract other types of fish.  I'm clueless, I just like to throw the line in, feel the pull of the line and then reel in the fish.  Last night, we were outsmarted by the fish because they found ways to eat the worms off of the hook without getting stuck. (I was just outdone!)

This morning as I laid in bed, reflecting on yesterday's outdoor adventures, I began to wonder how it was that we caught 4 nice-sized fish on our first trip and now that we had all the accoutrements of fishing caught NOTHING.  (Oh I apologize, my husband did catch a small one last night, but we decided to catch & release.  No fish-fry!) 

I began to compare the two excursions and this is what was brought to my attention...

On our first time out fishing, we had no idea what we were doing and God was just kind to us.  I think we actually rolled up on a school of fish and were able to catch them.  Due to our lack of knowledge, and not knowing at the time what a "school of fish" was, we could have caught more but I stopped to go to the bathroom and to get something to eat.   At that time both of us had only one fishing rod in the water.  He had a line and I had my own line, so it was easy to keep track of when the bobber moved or disappeared under water.  Yesterday we had 4-5 lines in the water and were utterly confused because we kept crossing each others lines.  He would cast in my area and when I would reel my line back in it would disturb his line.  Several times our lines got tangled and we wasted time untangling.  Other times, my bobber would move but by the time I ran back to the 1st line, the fish had already maneuvered the worm off of the hook.  Had I been watching my one line, I would have known the exact time to pull up and hook the fish in the mouth.

But isn't this our lives at times?

When we are laser-focused on one or two things, we can usually make things happen.  We have time to notice the tiny nuances and details, so when something changes we can quickly make the necessary adjustments.  However when we try to do everything and please everyone; we usually go home empty-handed and spirits low because all of our efforts didn't work.  Personally, I am finding this to be true in my career and in the education of my children.  Some of you may see it in your health, your family or in your life in general.  It seems that I have a thousand lines in the water (or as the old folk would say, too many irons in the fire) and I keep wondering why nothing is biting the line.  And God just showed me that perhaps I need to go back to the basics: pray more for guidance, focus on one or two things (not 10) and just wait patiently for God to deliver.  When the timing is just right and I'm expectant, yet 'still and surrendered'.... the right fish will jump the line.  (And it will be a significant enough blessing that I don't have to "catch & release".)  When God provides it, it's mine to keep.

So let me encourage you today, if you keep tripping over the same things and making the same silly mistakes and just obviously missing the blessings or peace of mind; sit back and take a real look at the situation.  Do you have too many lines in the water that are continually getting tangled?  Is your attention on line number 5 when you could actually be focused on your line, which is line number 1?  The blessing is right there and you can see the bobber going under water; but your timing is off and you keep missing the blessing.

Perhaps it's time to just focus on YOUR line (maybe one or two, but definitely not five).

Be blessed, cast the number of lines that you can handle and walk it out...

I don't get it God!

It may sound funny,  but it is true.  Sometimes I really don't get what God is trying to show me.

Have you ever felt this way?

Just when you think you are doing the "right" thing, it seems that the rug gets pulled back out from under your feet.  You notice your feet are above your head and you're looking up at your shoes, because once again you've ended up flat on your backside.  I suppose it shouldn't be unfamiliar, because surely we've all been in this position before.  However, it is annoying to find yourself on the floor.... yet again.

There are several ways to look at this...

1. Is God punishing me?  Do I need to repent for something that I've done and recognize these are just consequences of my actions?
2. Is God stretching me?  Am I supposed to get to the end of myself, so I can learn to totally depend on him?
3. Is God waiting on me?  Have I been putting everything on God and not using the gifts, talents and resources that He has given me to "do the work"?  Maybe I just need to get frustrated enough that I actually start performing the tasks that are well within my capability level.

I don't know which one applies to you.  Maybe it's one, perhaps it's all three....but what I'm learning through all of this is that it's all a part of the process.  Even if I messed up and need to ask for forgiveness, that's a step.  If God is indeed stretching me so that I develop tougher skin to deal with the issues on the next level, then that's another step.  And if God is just waiting on me to stop making excuses, then I must take the bigger step and take the leap of FAITH.  I don't get it God; but I trust YOU while I'm in the process!

The bottom line is, I'm tired of playing the waiting game. So as I wait; I must WORK (stop playing) and worship.  There has to be some resolve that kicks in for all of us that says I'm not going to be in this same position for too much longer.  So although we may not "get" what God is doing, we must trust that it's all working together for the good (Romans 8:28).  It may not 'feel' good, but it's working for my good!  Recognize that there are tiny steps that we could be taking right now to advance, if we'd just stop making excuses.

So although I may not "get" what God is doing, I totally "get" who God IS!

We must trust the process, do the work, work the plan and............Walk it out!

Learning to hear the whispers of God___________#menstruationmatters

This past Saturday, our church women's ministry partnered with another group to host a "Pad Party" at our church.  May 28th is International Menstrual Hygiene Day; a day set aside to bring awareness to menstrual health and the wellness of women all across this land.  We decided to host the party to bring attention to the women and girls in many African countries who lose a week of work and/or school during their time of menstruation.  Locally, we decided to help a battered women's shelter in the City, by supplying their facility with feminine hygiene products. 

Never before have I seen women buzzing around a room celebrating blood, and I'm not talking about the blood of Jesus.  Women were laughing, playing games, setting up the tables covered with feminine products, eating refreshments, talking, listening and sharing all around a cause that has been used against us to bring shame.  What is shameful about having the ability to produce life? What is shameful about the body knowing that when there is no egg fertilization each month, this is a set time to cleanse itself?  That's biology. That's science. That's a miracle! AND it is beautiful, not to be looked at with disdain or disregard; but rather to be celebrated and honored. 

Though I don't have daughters, (I've been blessed with 2 charming sons), I want little girls to know that you don't have to run and hide.  Menstruation can be a time to really listen to your body and get in tune with Creation.  Get in tune by eating right, drinking water, doing light exercises and learning to rest when needed.  Maybe menstruation is God's way of saying "listen to my voice as I speak through your body".  Learn what truly makes you tick and don't be ashamed! (For my Sisters who suffer with migraines and severe cramping, often due to fibroids, I am sensitive to your plight and I still believe that this is a time of stillness.)

But why am I really writing this message?

I am typing this at the church right now, after preparing the boxes (on top of boxes) to be picked up tomorrow morning by the shelter staff.  I just took down the #menstruationmatters signs that donned our red walls and I realized the room was still.  No more chatter, no more eating, no more sniggling and laughing and no more picture taking.  Just silence! Just me, God and boxes of pads.  I began to reflect on the boldness of our women, who for weeks brought their sanitary items to church and placed them in the "treasure chest" in the church vestibule.  I was grateful for my special Sisters in Atlanta, who heard the call and sprang into action, by having their own pad party of sorts to add to our party.  I thought about the mother, at my boys school, who saw my video and immediately ordered products online to be shipped to the church.  I was in awe of the person from New York, whom I've never met, who sent 2 shipments of products to the church in my name.  I reflected and I saw God's hands! I saw God's hands at work through all the people who participated in the project.

I could hear God whispering, " Do you hear me now?"
You thought I gave you the ability to speak so you could travel the world and talk about your book and what you've done for yourself.  NOT!
You thought I allowed you to go to Spelman College and then to Podiatric Medical School just so you could make money and live well. NOT!
You thought I allowed you to preach and teach my Word, so people could be mesmerized by your knowledge and insight and impressed with your abilities. NOT!
You thought your gifts and talents were just for you. ABSOLUTELY NOT!

He said, I've given you the stage to be the mouthpiece for someone who has not yet found their own voice.
I've given you the platform upon which you will stand and show someone else the way.

I AM TOTALLY HUMBLED!!!

I love what God told Moses in Deuteronomy 11:22-25, (from the Message Bible)

That’s right. If you diligently keep all this commandment that I command you to obey—love God, your God, do what he tells you, stick close to him—God on his part will drive out all these nations that stand in your way. Yes, he’ll drive out nations much bigger and stronger than you. Every square inch on which you place your foot will be yours. Your borders will stretch from the wilderness to the mountains of Lebanon, from the Euphrates River to the Mediterranean Sea. No one will be able to stand in your way. Everywhere you go, God-sent fear and trembling will precede you, just as he promised.

WHAT?! 
You mean if I keep listening to the whispers of God, keep His commandments and move by faith into action, then nothing and no one can stand in my way.  My God today!

The whispers of God might be a crying child.
The whispers of God might be a woman running from a domestic violence situation.
The whispers of God might be women in foreign countries who need your attention.
The whispers of God might be a loved one trying to get on their feet.
The whispers of God might be children whom the world has given up on.
The whispers of God might be a tough time in your marriage, after you've been hurt.
The whispers of God might be the beggar on the side of the road (especially if they are standing in front of a fast food place).
The whispers of God might be an annoying neighbor or coworker.

What has God been whispering in your ear that you KNOW He is waiting for you to act upon?
Will you spring into action or will you sit back in the recliner of life and relax?
Will you be the mouthpiece or will you recoil in silence?
Will you take them in or will you put them out?
Will you keep driving past them or will you bring them a happy meal while they're on the corner?
Will you fight for someone or will you just give up and wash your hands with the situation?

Learn to recognize the whispers of God. No really, stop and listen! That very thing that you are struggling with, just might be his whisper.
If you sit still long enough, you will hear him speaking.  The decision on how you'll respond is totally up to you!

Now walk it out...........

Sometimes "stink bait" is necessary to get the victory

This past Friday was an extremely interesting day!

Friday is usually the day that my husband likes to golf.  Since we noticed that the last two times he walked the golf course he became dehydrated and ill, he decided to leave it alone this week.  He walked into the kitchen on Thursday announcing that he had a GREAT idea and we would be going fishing the next day.  I laughed all the way to Walmart as we purchased the fishing license and permit, along with the folding lawn chairs, live worms, tackle box and stink bait.

On Friday morning as the boys were getting dressed for school, he was preparing our lunch and snacks for this day.  I tell you that this was so funny to me.  Are we really about to go fishing?  Mind you, neither of us knows how to fish!!!!

So after we dropped the boys off at school, we proceeded to the fishing hole not too far from the house.  We drove around trying to find the right location, so we wouldn't disturb anyone else but that was an equally appealing area.  After 10 minutes or so, we settled on a spot and began to unload the car.  Both he and I were extremely giddy and excited to be able to sit quietly for a couple of hours without any interruptions.

I loaded the fishing rod carefully with the live worm as he situated the weights and the red & white bobber on the line.  We were all set, so we cast the line and waited. He felt the tugging of the line and the adrenaline started pumping.  Soon thereafter the bobber resurfaced, but when he reeled the line in there was no fish and the worm was gone.  We simply laughed and threw the line out again.  This was repeated 3 times without any success, so we decided to switch it up.

It was time to pull out the stink bait, which consisted of shrimp and chicken blood.  Boy did it really STINK! We lost a couple of pieces, due to the bait falling off as we cast out the line.  We simply reapplied the stink bait, cast the line and waited. Within 5 minutes, we had caught our first catfish.  We were so surprised and exhilarated and repeated the same process.  Two more catfish on the line!
We placed all the catfish in the ice chest and set out to do it again.

Up to this point Byron had been catching the fish, but this time I decided I wanted to hold the line.  I loaded the stink bait, cast the line in the water,  sat down in my lawn chair and waited.  He and I sat there talking and watching the water move gently, until I felt tugging at the line and no longer saw the red and white bobber. My heart started racing and I stood up ready to reel in the line.  I couldn't just yank the line though, I had to finesse it to make sure the fish actually had the bait and wasn't just playing around with me.  Once I was confident that the fish was on the line, I began to reel it in. But as I reeled, the catfish fought back; I tugged and it tugged. I tugged some more and it pulled back. Eventually I won the exchange and had another catfish to add to the cooling chest. 

Four catfish is definitely not bad for two individuals who DO NOT fish! ( I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried!)  We paused long enough for me to get more ice and use the facilities. Upon my return, we repeated the process but nothing ever bit the line again. So for another hour we baited, we cast, we waited and nothing else happened.  During that time we talked about what was different now and why the fish weren't biting.  Then we reflected back to the moment that we caught the first fish and what we had done during that time.

God begin to show me something. Initially we used the worms because we were confident that the live bait would draw the fish. We repeated the process only to find out the method that we were using was not the best method. Although we were hesitant in using the stink bait, it would take the horrific aroma to draw the fish (blessings) toward us. It got me thinking about how God works in our lives sometimes through stinky situations.

So many times we follow the same patterns and are stuck in our way of doing things because we think it's the best method.  Oftentimes the blessings do not come until we rest in the fact that God uses stinky situations to bless us.  Maybe your stinky situation is the death of a loved one, the loss of a job or the end of a relationship. If we were to be honest with ourselves, we would realize that the blessing can't come until after the mess.  It's in the messiness and the stinkiness that you realize you are no longer in control. It takes the horrific aroma to heighten your sense of awareness that God is right there in the midst of the situation.

So allow me to encourage you to keep fighting, keep praying, keep throwing the line but realize that you might have to change the bait.  God can use the stink bait to attract your blessing.  God can use the death of a loved one for you to realize the gifting that already lies within you.  God can use the end of a relationship to catapult you into your destiny as you learn to hear and love the power of your own voice.  God can even use the loss of a job for you to recognize that He is truly the source of your supply.  What you're going through right now might not be pleasant, but rest assured that God can use your stink bait to attract the blessing and give you the victory in the end.

So don't run from the stinky situations, just ask God to show you what He wants you to learn as you sit and wait patiently on Him.  Just as the catfish were in the water before we even arrived,  so too is your blessing right there for you.  Perhaps God is just waiting on you to switch it up and appreciate the stink bait.

Now walk it out....

If this blessed you, feel free to leave a message below.

I'm back....I've been preparing for Uncharted Territory

This morning, I'm writing to you from a retreat center close to Atlanta Georgia.  I am here facilitating a Women's Retreat and the Lord truly blessed last night. Shortly, I will get up and join the ladies for session #2 and I'm so excited.

When I rose this morning the words, Uncharted Territory came running around in my mind.  This will be the theme for our Women's Empowerment Conference in September.  As I began writing the thesis, God just kept speaking and I thought I'd share it with you.

1 Corinthians 2:9

⁹ But as it is written: “Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him.

God wants to do some amazing things in and through you.  He wants to take you to a place in Him where you’ve never gone before.  God wants to reveal Himself to you so that you can begin to see things clearly and walk in purpose. God desires that you prosper and be in good health just as your soul prospers (III John 2). God has no limitations and He desires for you to see yourself with limitless possibilities.

God wants ALL of this for you and is now asking, “Do you want these things for yourself?  Are you prepared to go where I am sending you? Are you ready to acquire the correct tools for the journey? Will you trust the process?” 

Often we hinder our own blessings and success because we live out of past mistakes and failures.  We tried once before and it failed, so we have thrown up our hands and given up.  During the Women’s Empowerment Conference, you will learn and put into practice how to prepare for uncharted territory.

Would you take a fishing rod on a hunting trip? Would you carry scuba diving gear on a hiking expedition?  The exact direction in which you will travel may be foreign to you, but there are some necessary tools you will need to sustain you throughout the journey.  One of our goals is to make sure that you are packed properly for the trip.

 _______________

As I am preparing for this journey and acquiring the proper tools for myself, I'll be sure to check with you periodically.  I'm ready to go where God sends me!  I must admit that this a scary confession; but I told the Lord I am available to be used by Him.  My prayer for you is that you would be open and ready for the move of God in and over your life, as well.

Now walk it out....................... (equipped with the proper tools)

Push Past the Pain

     I woke up around 6:15 am and couldn't go back to sleep.  I laid in the bed contemplating what I was going to do. Should I get up and put a load of clothes in? Should I get up and start breakfast?  Should I wake my husband up for a few stolen moments?  I couldn't make up my mind, so I just laid there quietly, deciding not to move.  Before even placing my feet on the ground, I could tell that I was sore from doing zumba last night.  Actually, my back was tight before the class even began, but I was determined that I was going to shake my hips like I'd lost my mind.

     Anyway, I couldn't lie there any longer and started contemplating taking Arby for a morning walk.  I began envisioning which outfit I was going to wear, which shoes had the orthotics in them, tried to figure out if I would wear a hat, tried to remember where my fanny pack was so I could jog without worrying whether my phone would fall out, and the list goes in.  I hadn't yet stood up, but I had already figured all of these things out in my head.  Nothing was going to stop me now.....I had a plan.  That was until I finally stood up and I couldn't straighten my back immediately, my left knee had a little tweak in it and my right foot hurt  was hurting due to a fallen arch.  I pushed past the pain, because I was determined to execute the plan.  It took me about 7 minutes to get my workout gear on, drink some water and get Arby on his leash.

     Once outside, I turned on my music station filled with nature sounds.  But before I could get the earbuds in, I heard birds chirping and singing and the sound of the wind rushing past my ears.  At that moment I decided that I would let my sounds become one with the sounds of nature, so I put my phone away.  What a beautiful clamoring in the sky!

     As Arby and I took our first few steps, my body ached.  My hips and hamstrings were tight and had not properly warmed up. But as I continued slowly, I could quickly feel my joints loosening. The synovial fluid was lubricating my joints making the pain go away.  We walked 1/2 a mile and then turned around and jogged back.  When we returned to our starting point, I realized that I actually felt great so we decided to keep going.  What a glorious decision!  I prayed for my entire household as I jogged and when I later heard a siren, I began praying help for someone in need. (Mommy used to do that whenever an ambulance passed us on the highway..."touch Jesus, somebody needs your help".) It was at that moment that I considered maybe God woke me up just to cry out for that individual who will never know my name.

      Maybe God was using my early morning prayers to the cover my family for the day.  This walk wasn't even about me!  The enemy was trying to discourage me from my assignment by pointing out all of my aches and pain.  Had I just put my earbuds in, I might have missed God talking to me.  God wanted me to be fully present, to live in the moment and to accomplish the assignment that was meant for me today.  The focus was taken off of me because there was a mighty work to do.

   I encourage you today to push past the pain that you feel...whether it's physical, mental or emotional.  God wants you to be fully aware of His presence in your life.  Recognize that the trials may come so that you have a testimony to share with others.  While you may feel tired by the cares of life, there is someone out there who is on the verge of suicide who needs to hear YOUR story.  Man this thing ain't even about you!  (yes, I said ain't)  Push past it and PRAY that God would reveal HIS plan for your day and your life.


Now walk it out............... (the synovial fluid in your joints will help you, I promise)

Is it better to be selfish or selfless? Continue reading before you answer...

If you had the opportunity to choose whether or not you were selfish or selfless, most people would pick SELFLESS right??? (It just sounds better.)

Somehow to say that you are selfless seems noble and just.  To say that one is selfless is to say that they have little or no concern for oneself, especially with regard to fame, position, money, etc.  You think of people like Mother Teresa and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.  Always there for others; putting the concerns of others before your own.    Some might even go as far to say that being selfless is synonymous with being close to God.  Hmm?  So what happens when in your selflessness, you begin to lose sight of who you are.  

You're good at diagnosing the problems for others, but fail to see that you are struggling yourself.  You focus on helping your children, your family, your friends, your co-workers, your church, your civic organizations, any and everyone; yet, you are slowly becoming unrecognizable to yourself.  In all of your doing, you have forgotten to breathe and live. So you run from one person to the next, one job to the next, one meeting to the next only to realize that you are empty at the end of the day.  You have poured so much of yourself out to others that there is nothing less for yourself.  You go to bed exhausted and frustrated, only to wake up the next morning and do the very same thing.  Ugh!

Wait!  Did I just strike a nerve?  Your stomach just became unsettled, didn't it?   You just realized that I have painted the canvas of your life.  Go ahead, take a deep breath!!!  The first step is awareness.  You now know that what you have been doing is a 'hot mess'! 

Selflessness has you with bags under your eyes, looking 5-7 years older than you really are.  
Selflessness has you suffering with anxiety with your bowels either locked up or flowing constantly.  
Selflessness has you developing a balding pattern due to the stress.  
Selflessness has you crying yourself to sleep at night because you are trying to figure out what's wrong, but can't quite put your finger on it.  
Selflessness has you mad at the very people that you are helping because you're waiting for them to participate in their own liberation. 
Selflessness has you putting your dreams on hold so as not to make others around you feel inadequate.
Selflessness has you digging yourself into an early grave.  

Is that too deep for you?  Some of you are probably questioning, "does this girl even know Jesus?...you're supposed to give your life for others".   (Don't deny it,  I felt you.)

Yes, God wants you to be there for others, but as my mother-in-law used to always tell me, "You can't give from an empty cup".    And many of you are EMPTY as you read this.  The question is, "Now that I am aware, how do I turn this thing around?" 

I simply say that it's time to be just a little selfish. Selfish is defined as devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare,etc.   Now I'm not saying that you should live your life ONLY caring about yourself, but maybe it's time to focus on yourself temporarily.

Temporary selfishness may look like meditating in the morning and taking cleansing breaths to start the day.
Temporary selfishness may look like having a a morning cup of coffee or smoothie on the back porch...just 15 minutes of quiet time.
Temporary selfishness may be taking the dog for a walk in the park or around the neighborhood.  (That's at least a 20-minute stroll of solitude).
Temporary selfishness may be joining an exercise class, once a week, and sticking to it. (Making everyone honor that this is YOUR time.)
Temporary selfishness might be taking the kids to the library and, once they're situated, sitting at your own table to write out your dreams and goals.
Temporary selfishness may look like eating by yourself during lunch rather than catching up on the latest gossip with co-workers.  
Temporary selfishness may look like taking a nap when the baby is napping, instead of cleaning the house. 
Temporary selfishness might be taking yourself to dinner during 'happy hour', not to meet anyone, but to get the same food for half-price at the bar.  (You won't feel guilty because you've saved a lot of money.)
Temporary selfishness might be going to bed early, while curling up with a good book. 

For some of you this might be hard to do, but it is necessary and it's worth it.  We all must learn to be good to ourselves before we can serve others.  When you are fulfilled, you won't struggle with helping to fill others. Temporary selfishness is nothing more than learning to live in the moment and with intention.  Intentionally carving out time for yourself before you dig yourself into a grave by giving selflessly to others. (Honey, they will cry at your funeral and will quickly move on when you're gone...so get a grip.)

It's a practice that you must adopt soon.  Your sanity depends on it!
So to answer the original question, "is it better to be selfish or selfless?".  I think it's absolutely necessary to be a little bit of both.  

Now walk it out...

Take your hands off the world

Today, I want to share a video message with you.  I didn't have to type and fully explain how God spoke to me regarding trusting Him and letting go.

Travel the journey with me on this Youtube clip, "Take your hands off the world".

I pray that you will be encouraged and simply STOP worrying about everything.

Now walk it out........

BIND it and RELEASE it!

Lord, there are sisters out there crying because they don't see how they are going to make it. I ask you, on their behalf, that you would give them peace right now in the name of Jesus.

Help them to see that there is a purpose in their pain. You desire to get the glory out of every situation and you have not left them. Let them see that you are right beside them, holding them up so that they will not fall. You did not forsake them, but you are building them up to be a blessing to someone down the road.

I BIND the spirit of depression that would come to weigh them down.
I BIND the spirit of anxiety that keeps them on spook at all times.
I BIND the evil spirit that would come to silence them and not seek out help.

I RELEASE the spirit of joy that would let them know that the "joy of the Lord is their strength"... and the strength of the Lord can be their joy.
I RELEASE the spirit of peace to envelop them and calm their minds.
I RELEASE the spirit of forgiveness so they can forgive themselves and learn to love themselves again.

For every tear that falls I ask that you would bottle it and then release it over their heads, as if you were pouring out blessings upon them. Rain on them as you reign over the Earth.

I believe that you can and will do it God and so I trust you and thank you as I close this prayer.

Allow each woman to adopt the song that they "I don't look like what I've been through". They may feel like they're currently in a fiery furnace, but help them to recognize that they can come out and not even smell like smoke.

We love you, we praise you and we honor you God!

And we walk it out with you…..