DON'T BE A MUD WALKER !!!

This is Arby.  Twice a year, we usually have him shaved because his hair grows beautifully and then it sheds everywhere.  I've noticed that he is usually a little feisty after his grooming session and takes a day or so to unwind. (Hopefully shaving him is not a traumatic experience.  Perhaps he's a little self conscious of what people think of his new "do". You know how you feel when you try a new hairstyle....you are just waiting to see what everyone's response will be.  Even if you are the most confident person, you still want someone to like it.)

When I brought him home the first day, he went in our backyard and rolled around in the grass for a few seconds.  Maybe he was so used to having lots of hair and wanted to actually feel the small blades of grass tickle his back.  Perhaps the shampoo and conditioner were too much to handle and he just wanted to feel a little dirt again.  I even considered that this was his way of rebelling against the whole idea of getting cleaned up and he was exercising his autonomy. (Okay, let me move on before you think I'm a little crazy trying to figure out what is going through the dog's brain.)

This morning we set out for our early morning walk/run. (I'm glad to say that I can jog halfway and not be totally winded....YAY me!) I had noticed before that there is a particular area that always stays muddy.  I can't tell you the last time that it rained, but this area is ALWAYS wet.  The ground and sidewalk around it slopes, so I think it's like a run-off area that easily collects water.  During our walks, I constantly noticed Arby prancing along the sidewalk, and without fail when he would reach this particular area, step off the sidewalk and into the muddy spot.  Are you serious dude?

We've been walking consistently for months and every time that we reach this spot he does the same thing.  (He's like that child who hasn't met a puddle that he or she didn't like.  Gotta step in and splash!)  Well the other day, I decided to do something differently by retracting his leash as we approached this area. It worked!  Arby didn't pull, he didn't tug....he simply continued prancing on the sidewalk by my side.  The next day, the same thing.  Today, we began our walk along a different path so I'd have a long stretch to jog part of the way, but I use this familiar path as our warm up or cool down.  The 1st lap around, I retracted his leash and he avoided the muddy spot.  The second time around, I noticed that there was a police officer driving by and I decided to wave. (I do this so they will get used to seeing Arby and I, and if I'm ever in trouble they will notice a difference and come check on me.)  So as I was waving, I was not focused on Arby and didn't realize that we were approaching our 'spot'. I waved, but didn't retract the leash.

Can anyone tell me what happened next?  Come on people...you know it!

You got it........Arby stepped in the mud.  Ughhh!  Mud splashed up on his freshly shaven belly, his tan paws were now black and as he pranced back onto the side walk he deflected mud onto his back.  Hello son, I paid good money to have you cleaned up!!! You better believe that as soon as we got back home, I wiped the dirt off and cleaned him up again.

But then I started thinking, Arby isn't that different from us, when we make a decision to step back in the mud and get dirty.

• You said that you want to lose weight, but when everyone goes to bed, you raid the refrigerator...MUD WALKER.
• You said that you were breaking up, because he or she was not right for you; but when you got lonely, you made that infamous "booty" call...MUD WALKER.
• You know that your spouse doesn't like for you to talk to that person, but you continue to troll their facebook page and sometimes send an instant message...MUD WALKER.
• You said that you wanted to change your life and were going back to church, but when Sunday or Wednesday night comes you find an excuse to keep from going...MUD WALKER.
• You committed to going to the gym three times a week, so one day you stayed for 3-hours and haven't been back in a month...MUD WALKER.
• You said that you wanted to start your business, but have not taken the time to educate yourself and develop a strategy...MUD WALKER.
• You said that you wanted to be a more mindful parent, but the last time your child really needed to talk, you were too busy gossiping on the phone with your friends...MUD WALKER.

Does any of this sound familiar?  I'm sure it does, because I have just stepped on my own toes as I was typing!
Okay so now that we know that we've been mud walking, how do we change the behavior?  It all starts with restraint.  But not restraint within our own power, it has to come from a source outside of ourselves until we are strong enough to handle it.

Let's go back to Arby...

He and I will continue to walk that path, but I have to re-train his brain whenever he approaches that area.  Even now, I know that I can just click the leash and he knows that I'm telling him to do something differently.  However, because this is a stronghold for him, I will physically have to restrain him by retracting the leash, which is a sign to him that he needs to stay close to me.  I don't know how long it will take, but I know from past experience that he is easily trainable when I am consistent.  So for the next week or two, I will have to retract the leash and affirm him ("good boy") as we pass this area.  Maybe I'll jog when I approach, so his attention his refocused and he doesn't have time to lollygag and find his way back to the mud.  The point is to help him change his behavior by redirecting his focus.  The hope is after we have done this for a while, he will no longer desire to return to the muddy spot, because I've created a new experience for him.

The same goes for us...

It's time to create a new experience and write a different narrative so we won't go back to our old muddy ways.  You need a power source outside of your own strength.  Perhaps you need to begin your day with prayer.  Perhaps meditation works for you...just sitting quietly for 5-10 minutes to clear your thoughts.  Maybe you can get an accountability partner who will exercise with you.  Buying healthy snacks that you can eat in the evening, might keep you from opening that refrigerator door. Blocking your old friend from your FB page, so you're not tempted to follow up just might do the trick.  Have a plan that you will use for those times when you're weak and want to answer the booty call.  Make a decision to turn your phone off when you're spending quality time with your children.  Volunteer to pick someone up for church, who doesn't have a ride, to guarantee that you'll go.  Maybe you need to hire a coach, someone to encourage you as you write your business plan and move into action.

Don't be too hard on yourself, the retraining of the brain is not easy but it is doable. Consistency is key!  And for those times that you do step back into the mud, just know that God loves and wants the very best for you.  God, your accountability partner, your coach, whomever you've enlisted to help you, won't let you stay dirty.  You can always get cleaned up and start all over again.

Now walk it out..............but please STAY OUT OF THE MUD!

Begin the day with prayer!

I posted this on Facebook this morning:

Began the day anointing my boys with blessed oil. Praying over their minds, bodies and souls. They closed their eyes as I prayed and took it all in. We usually pray in the car, on the way to school, but I felt the urge to stop and lay on hands this morning. We are raising strong, courageous, saved African American young men who will be leaders and world changers! ‪#‎workinprogress‬ ‪#‎bemindful‬ ‪#‎beintentional‬ ‪#‎lovemyboys‬

So many times we run out of this house and forget to connect to the people who bring us joy.  Praying over your family doesn't cost you a dime.   The blessed oil was already in my medicine cabinet from my father's last visit.  (He brought it from my home church in Philadelphia.)  My  husband had already gone to the garage to pull the car out, but I felt a tugging in my spirit to pause for just a moment.  As I anointed their heads and rubbed their shoulders and legs ( they both had been complaining of hurt "something" due to sports and plain old growing pains), they bowed their heads and did not fuss.  I believe that they appreciated what I was saying to God, on their behalf.  

If you have children, stop and let them hear you pray over them.  It encourages them and they will remember the words if they get frustrated during the day.  The blessing is not in the oil, the blessing is in the realization that there is a higher power source than us and that we can go to this source for strength.

Perhaps you don't have children....so what.  You know a neighbor, a niece or nephew, a friend's child, a grandchild, someone in your church or civic organization who needs to hear someone pray over them.  

• Your voice can soothe a troubled mind.
• Your voice can keep someone from giving up. 
• Your voice can give someone confidence in God.
• Your voice can possibly save a life.
• Your voice can liberate a generation.

So, I invite you to use your voice and speak well of and pray over someone today.

Now walk it out.....

Happy Birthday Mommy

HI MOMMY!

How's it going up there in Heaven?  Did someone wake you singing Happy birthday?  If not, please allow me. (Insert birthday song here, Stevie Wonder version.)

I am choosing to celebrate you today. 

• I'm going to remember your silly grin that you would do when it was time to take a picture. ( I realize that I turn my head to the side, purse my lips and act really silly when it's time to take a picture too....I guess I got it honest.)
• I will remember your praying hands when you'd rub my back and assure me that everything would be alright.
• I will remember how you used to prance in those heels and shout across the front of the church, after leading a song or directing the choir. ( I think Daddy used to watch from the Deacon section, thanking the Lord that those legs were going back home with him.  I'm just sayin'...)
• I'm going to remember your applesauce raisin cake.  (That's probably why I could eat raisins and applesauce all day.)
• I will remember your words of wisdom dipped in the Holy Spirit.  Your words were so poignant and piercing to the soul.
• I will remember the times you and Daddy came to our home and poured so much love into your grandchildren. (The boys and I were talking about you on the way to school this morning.)
• I will remember how whenever I was sad, you would say "get a pillow and squeeze really tightly...that's me hugging you Baby".

Today, I will think of all things Nelda!  And if I cry, it will be tears of joy that God thought enough of us to share you with this world.  Anyone who came across your path, were blessed to have been in your presence.

So happy birthday Mommy! I would say RIP, but that would be ridiculous for us girls.  Girl, strut your stuff today and enjoy praising God. ( I know your heavenly shoes are the bomb.)

If you dance for me up there, I will dance for you down here.  Love you Suga Booger!

Now walk it out...

What happens when you've come to the end of your rope?

I'm sure you've heard this saying, "When you come to the end of your rope tie a knot and hold on".

Yeah that sounds good, but what happens when you are beginning to develop rope burn on the palms of your hands?  You were swinging and waiting on God patiently but He didn't answer immediately.  Yet you kept the faith, although you could feel the blisters forming on your hands. The friction of squeezing the rope requires all of your attention.

Do you remember doing pull ups during P.E. class?  The instructor would tell you to stand up on the spotting chair and then pull yourself up on the bar.  This didn't seem that difficult because you realized that you could always go back and feel the spotting chair at the tips of your toes.  Whenever your arms would grow weary of the up-down pull up motion, you could always go back and rest on the spotting chair.  But do you remember how you felt when the chair was taken away and you no longer had the security of feeling it under your feet?  Initial fear and then determination to pull yourself up, once more.

Well I imagine the end of the rope in similar fashion.  It was fine when you had the comfort of something.... heck anything, under your feet.  But what happens when all of your options seem to be slowly dissipating?  The knot has been tied at the end of the rope, but the palms of your hands have blistered, calloused over and are now bleeding. The nerve impulses in your muscles have lost their firing capability, rendering you helpless and unable to pull yourself up again.  Your rotator cuffs are in excruciating pain, due to the weight of your body.  Your back is arched, your feet are dangling and toes are pointed, searching for any sign of the spotting chair.   Your head is hanging backwards into the locks of your shoulder, your face is cold and damp due to the stream of endless tears and it seems like the spotting chair has been taken away forever.  There is no back up plan, no Plan B, no more options...all you can do is literally hang, as your body convulses as a result of the incessant sobbing.

As you hang suspended in the air, all of your other senses are now on high alert.  Although your eyes are closed trying to catch the tears before they fall,  your ears and your spirit become a little more in tune to what is happening around you.   Sshhh, did you just hear that?  I thought I heard the Lord speaking...it sounded like Psalms 46:10, "Be still and KNOW that I am God".
You didn't hear that?  Well try listening with your spirit this time.  Deutreronomy 31:6, "So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic... For the LORD your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you."  

So even as you hang there, suspended in mid air,  God has not forgotten you.  In fact, He is wondering why you insist on acting in your own strength.  I can imagine him scratching his head, just waiting for you to stop those fruitless efforts that are only causing more pain and fatigue.  I hear him saying let go and let me guide you.  Almost like the parachuting expert who takes a beginner along.  The beginner has to open his or her arms in surrender to the expert, as the pull of gravity brings them both down and the skill of the expert helps them to land.  You have no control over where you will land because the expert assumes all responsibility.  All you are required to do is relax and enjoy the ride.  

Allow the wind to blow in your face and open your eyes to see all the things that God wants to give you when you land. (The Earth is the Lords and the fullness therof, Psalm 24:1.)  

So what do you do when you've come to the end of your rope?  Forget the knot, forsake all spotting apparatus and simply surrender to the expert.  He knows exactly where He wants you to land.

Now walk it out.......when you reach the ground, of course. 

From Faithfulness to Favor

I’m reminded of the song, I've Got a Testimony by Rev. Clay Evans:

“As I look back over my life and I think things over

I can truly say, that I’ve been blessed I’ve got a testimony”

And boy do I have a testimony...

We’re flying first-class from Los Angeles after Byron officiated the wedding of Mr. and Mrs. Russell Westbrook.  We were surrounded by a number of NBA players, superstars, multimillionaires, yet they all had to stop and listen to this Pastor/ Preacher from Oklahoma City.  All ears were attuned to the illustrious words of love and wisdom spoken by a little boy, born on the west side of Chicago.  He’s the same cat who went to Morehouse College in Atlanta from Homewood Flossmoor High School in Illinois.  The same dude who worked in a little church in South Philadelphia (while I was in Podiatric Medical school) and was called to pastor a church in Oklahoma City, spoke into the life of a man and his wife.   He’s the same brother who motivates hundreds of students on the campus of the University of Oklahoma, yet still finds time to be there for both of his sons and all of their school and sporting activities.  Byron is the same guy who serves as chaplain for the Oklahoma City Thunder NBA franchise and pours into the lives of these young men.  He is the same guy who is called on, from all around the City, to participate on this panel or speak at that church.  He is the same one who wants to see relationships grow and be strengthened, so he offers counseling and an annual marriage retreat. 

Why am I telling you this?  One, because he’ll never tell you that he does ALL of those things and so much more.

I’m telling you about him because I want you to see firsthand, that God can use your gifts and talents to bless your home.  He has never wanted to be a mega pastor or see his name in lights, but God is doing that thing.  Why?  Because he has been faithful!  From the moment that I met Byron, he has been faithful to using the gifts that God gave him.  He is a dynamic preacher, teacher and orator! Though sometimes appearing argumentative, his style, skill and technique of speaking a word into your life will simply draw you in.  After talking with him, you will begin to believe God for the impossible in your life.  Byron believes God for you and encourages you to see and experience the riches and fullness of God for yourself. 

When you are true to yourself and to what God has called you to be, He alone will begin to make room for you.  There is no room for “copy-cats”, ONLY originals here!  I encourage you to stop and perform a self-evaluation, as you walk into the things that God has for you.

·      Recognize the gifts that God has given you.  Be thankful for the little nuances that he placed inside of you that distinguish you from others! 

·      Never compare your success to the success of others, because none of us actually knows what they had to sacrifice to get there.

·      Be confident that whatever God has placed inside of you can grow and be developed until He is ready to unleash you on the world.

·      Don’t rush God, be patient!

·      Take pleasure in your platform now and be ready to move into the next arena when God opens the door.

·      Did I say…stop comparing yourself to others????? (It’s pointless.)

·      Be faithful to the work that God has placed in your hand.

·      Be careful not to despise small beginnings.

·      Embrace where you are right now.

·      Be true to yourself.

I know that God has something in store for you for your faithfulness, just like I am confident that God will continue to open doors for Byron as he walks in his calling.  It’s amazing to see God begin to open doors that he never even had a desire to go through. 

Let me encourage you to “stir up the gifts” that are inside of you and be faithful to whatever assignment God has given you.   I Corinthian 2:9 says, “Eyes haven’t seen, nor ears heard, neither has it entered into the hearts of men the things that God has prepared for those who love Him”. 

Now embrace your gifting and walk it out…

God is requesting an EARLY morning audience with me!

Good morning God. It's 3:50 am and I have not been able to go back to sleep.  You probably want to talk with me, so here I am.

God I thank you for this EARLY morning session.   God I thank you because you desire an "audience of one" with me.  God I thank you because I'm your child and you KNOW me and my desires. God I thank you because despite all my mistakes and shortcomings, you still love me and want me to prosper and be in good health.  I am simply grateful for this time with you.

Lord, I ask that you would remove every anxiety.
Remove every fear.
Remove any judgment.
Remove any doubt.
Remove any thing that is blocking me from activating my faith.

And even as I pray those words, I am reminded that you are a gentleman and you're not going to take anything away from me that I don't GIVE to you.  So pardon me God and allow me to rephrase.

Lord I GIVE you my anxieties.
I GIVE you my fears.
I GIVE you my judgments.
I GIVE you my doubt.
I GIVE you everything that is blocking me from activating my faith.

As I seek your face and not your hand, I will rest in the assurance that I am the beloved of God.  And because I know that I am your beloved, I will walk a little differently.  I walk with my head up, knowing that my confidence is NOT in me but rather in YOU.  Shoulders back, arms swinging at my sides, toes pointed forward, eyes set on my future, abdominal muscles engaged and mind made up.  I am a child of the King!

Just like my children, when we walk into a store, know that I have money.......they walk with a confidence that they can ask me for anything they want. ( Although they might not always get what they want at that time, for various reasons....they still have the gumption to ask.) Sometimes I have a firm NO, but if it's the correct time, I break down and give them exactly what they ask for.  This morning I walk in that confidence and I make my petitions to you God.  Instead of just asking though, I am going to "call things that I do not see right now, as if I already have them" . (Romans 4:17 paraphrased)

God I thank you for favor for the job.  God I thank you for touching the heart of the interviewer right now.  God I thank you that although others may have applied, when he comes across my name something is going to catch his attention.  Even if I am NOT the most qualified, his heart will be pointed toward me.  I thank you for full benefits.  I thank you that will allow me to use my gifts and talents to bring you glory.  You created me to worship you, so I will worship you in everything that I will do.  I don't have to preach my beliefs, I just have to walk in them.  Thank you for bringing light to every situation that you place me in.

Maybe your prayer goes a little something like this...

God I thank you for healing.  Thank you for touching the hands of the doctors, nurses, technicians, specialists and even janitors that will come before me in the doctors office, the hospital or dialysis center.

God I thank you being a lawyer in the court room.  Thank you for hearing my petition and for pleading my case. Thank you for touching the judge, lawyers, bailiff and jurors that will hear my case.  I walk in the confidence that truth will win.

God I thank you for my children.  Thank you because they are the head and not the tail.  Thank you because they are leaders and not followers (even if their shyness doesn't allow me to see it right now.) Thank you for keeping them safe as they go to school.  Thank you that no evil will come near them.  Thank you for removing any distraction that would keep them from doing and giving their best.  Thank you for the patience that will allow me to watch them grow and develop as they begin to walk into their own knowledge of you.  Thank you this prayer of covering and protection.

God I simply thank you for this morning time with you.  Thank you for giving me the words to pray, even for my brothers and sisters.  Thank you for giving me the language to help them articulate to you what has been weighing on their hearts.  Thank you that you love me (them) enough to use me (them) for your glory!

God I thank you because my anxiety is GONE!
God I thank you because my fears are GONE!
God I thank you because my judgments are GONE!
God I thank you because my doubt is GONE!
God I thank you because the things that were blocking me from activating my faith are now GONE!

It's amazing what prayer can do!!!!

So God as I close, thank you for the peace and reassurance that I can rest in you.  I don't have to try to figure it out.....you have already worked it out!

Now walk it out....... 
(I'm walking it back to the bed right now... I technically have 2 more hours before the alarm clock goes off)

Jesus, be a Nail Tech with Solar Nail Gel

On my birthday, I posted a video and mentioned that I was letting go of solar nails (acrylic....same difference) because I wanted to allow my nails to breathe and be my authentic self.  My authentic self has short brittle nails and it drives me completely crazy sometimes.  For this reason, over the years I would get a nail overlay because my nails would not grow without this help. I decided to go with simple gel nail polish, so at least the color wouldn't chip away immediately.
After soaking off the solar overlay, we filed my original nails down and applied gel nail polish....so cute.  Although my nails are short, they look pretty because the polish is so vibrant.

You know that's not all though, right?

One day later, I picked something up and realized that my right index finger nail was bending a little too much.  Upon further inspection, I noticed that there was a small crack in the polish...NO two cracks!  One at the tip and one on the side....are you kidding me?!  Well I've been looking at those cracks for the last few days and even tried applying nail glue.  Well 30 minutes ago, it finally ripped.  It didn't break, nor did it chip.....it flat our RIPPED!  That's how brittle my nails are.  My 1st instinct???.....GET UP AND CALL THE NAIL SHOP FOR AN EMERGENCY APPOINTMENT!!!  What did I actually do (after a few choice words...."dog bite it")?.... I began to laugh.

What was so funny?  I just realized that I was being totally unrealistic.  I expected my natural nails to withstand all of the pressure that an acrylic overlay could withstand.  When in fact, my nails were never strong in the first place......I was simply covering them up.  Week after week, month after month, year after year I had been covering up my natural nails and pushing it off as if it were the "real thing".  In order for my natural nails to get stronger, I will have to regulate my diet, perhaps take a vitamin E pill and be certain that I wear gloves when I'm cleaning or washing dishes.
I have to take care of my nails and protect them if I want to see any growth!

But isn't that the same with everything??!!

So many times in our lives we send our "representative" when we are dealing with people and then after some time the "real you" comes out and scares everyone because we can no longer cover up our true identity.  We play "church pretty", yet will cuss someone out in a heartbeat if they cross us.  We put on fake smiles when we know that we are really crying and hurting inside.  We play the victim, because we enjoy the attention that it gives us without taking time to realize that there is actually a victor inside.

So my questions to you are...

What are you covering up?
Why are you covering it up?
What would actually happen if you decided to uncover it?

I will not insult you and say that it is going to be easy to uncover some things.  In fact, it will probably get worse before it gets better.  My nails are so brittle right now that they will probably continue to rip & tear until the nail root produces more nail cells and I allow the keratin (the protein which makes the nail hard) to do its job without any interference from the acrylic.  It might be a slooooowwwww process, but it will happen IF I nurture it.

It's the time and nurturing that will cause your dead situation to come alive again.  It's the nurturing of your mind with positive thoughts that will help you to see the "brighter side" of every circumstance.  Its the nurturing of your soul that will allow you to realize that you are connected to a God who wants to see you flourish. It's the nurturing of your body, through proper diet and exercise, which will allow you to lose those extra pounds.

At the end of the day, you must nourish your authentic self.  It's time to live from your core and not merely skim from the surface.  The core is where you find your connection with God.  If the core is healthy, chances are the outer expression of the core will be healthy...producing healthy relationships with yourself and others.

I invite you to check out the YouTube clip http://youtu.be/VYODJxKlOmY  of my birthday message and begin living your authentic self from the core.

Now walk it out......

(And quietly walk right past me, if in 2 weeks you see that I have acrylic nails again....don't judge me...it's a process!)