This is Arby. Twice a year, we usually have him shaved because his hair grows beautifully and then it sheds everywhere. I've noticed that he is usually a little feisty after his grooming session and takes a day or so to unwind. (Hopefully shaving him is not a traumatic experience. Perhaps he's a little self conscious of what people think of his new "do". You know how you feel when you try a new hairstyle....you are just waiting to see what everyone's response will be. Even if you are the most confident person, you still want someone to like it.)
When I brought him home the first day, he went in our backyard and rolled around in the grass for a few seconds. Maybe he was so used to having lots of hair and wanted to actually feel the small blades of grass tickle his back. Perhaps the shampoo and conditioner were too much to handle and he just wanted to feel a little dirt again. I even considered that this was his way of rebelling against the whole idea of getting cleaned up and he was exercising his autonomy. (Okay, let me move on before you think I'm a little crazy trying to figure out what is going through the dog's brain.)
This morning we set out for our early morning walk/run. (I'm glad to say that I can jog halfway and not be totally winded....YAY me!) I had noticed before that there is a particular area that always stays muddy. I can't tell you the last time that it rained, but this area is ALWAYS wet. The ground and sidewalk around it slopes, so I think it's like a run-off area that easily collects water. During our walks, I constantly noticed Arby prancing along the sidewalk, and without fail when he would reach this particular area, step off the sidewalk and into the muddy spot. Are you serious dude?
We've been walking consistently for months and every time that we reach this spot he does the same thing. (He's like that child who hasn't met a puddle that he or she didn't like. Gotta step in and splash!) Well the other day, I decided to do something differently by retracting his leash as we approached this area. It worked! Arby didn't pull, he didn't tug....he simply continued prancing on the sidewalk by my side. The next day, the same thing. Today, we began our walk along a different path so I'd have a long stretch to jog part of the way, but I use this familiar path as our warm up or cool down. The 1st lap around, I retracted his leash and he avoided the muddy spot. The second time around, I noticed that there was a police officer driving by and I decided to wave. (I do this so they will get used to seeing Arby and I, and if I'm ever in trouble they will notice a difference and come check on me.) So as I was waving, I was not focused on Arby and didn't realize that we were approaching our 'spot'. I waved, but didn't retract the leash.
Can anyone tell me what happened next? Come on people...you know it!
You got it........Arby stepped in the mud. Ughhh! Mud splashed up on his freshly shaven belly, his tan paws were now black and as he pranced back onto the side walk he deflected mud onto his back. Hello son, I paid good money to have you cleaned up!!! You better believe that as soon as we got back home, I wiped the dirt off and cleaned him up again.
But then I started thinking, Arby isn't that different from us, when we make a decision to step back in the mud and get dirty.
- You said that you want to lose weight, but when everyone goes to bed, you raid the refrigerator...MUD WALKER.
- You said that you were breaking up, because he or she was not right for you; but when you got lonely, you made that infamous "booty" call...MUD WALKER.
- You know that your spouse doesn't like for you to talk to that person, but you continue to troll their facebook page and sometimes send an instant message...MUD WALKER.
- You said that you wanted to change your life and were going back to church, but when Sunday or Wednesday night comes you find an excuse to keep from going...MUD WALKER.
- You committed to going to the gym three times a week, so one day you stayed for 3-hours and haven't been back in a month...MUD WALKER.
- You said that you wanted to start your business, but have not taken the time to educate yourself and develop a strategy...MUD WALKER.
- You said that you wanted to be a more mindful parent, but the last time your child really needed to talk, you were too busy gossiping on the phone with your friends...MUD WALKER.
Okay so now that we know that we've been mud walking, how do we change the behavior? It all starts with restraint. But not restraint within our own power, it has to come from a source outside of ourselves until we are strong enough to handle it.
Let's go back to Arby...
He and I will continue to walk that path, but I have to re-train his brain whenever he approaches that area. Even now, I know that I can just click the leash and he knows that I'm telling him to do something differently. However, because this is a stronghold for him, I will physically have to restrain him by retracting the leash, which is a sign to him that he needs to stay close to me. I don't know how long it will take, but I know from past experience that he is easily trainable when I am consistent. So for the next week or two, I will have to retract the leash and affirm him ("good boy") as we pass this area. Maybe I'll jog when I approach, so his attention his refocused and he doesn't have time to lollygag and find his way back to the mud. The point is to help him change his behavior by redirecting his focus. The hope is after we have done this for a while, he will no longer desire to return to the muddy spot, because I've created a new experience for him.
The same goes for us...
It's time to create a new experience and write a different narrative so we won't go back to our old muddy ways. You need a power source outside of your own strength. Perhaps you need to begin your day with prayer. Perhaps meditation works for you...just sitting quietly for 5-10 minutes to clear your thoughts. Maybe you can get an accountability partner who will exercise with you. Buying healthy snacks that you can eat in the evening, might keep you from opening that refrigerator door. Blocking your old friend from your FB page, so you're not tempted to follow up just might do the trick. Have a plan that you will use for those times when you're weak and want to answer the booty call. Make a decision to turn your phone off when you're spending quality time with your children. Volunteer to pick someone up for church, who doesn't have a ride, to guarantee that you'll go. Maybe you need to hire a coach, someone to encourage you as you write your business plan and move into action.
Don't be too hard on yourself, the retraining of the brain is not easy but it is doable. Consistency is key! And for those times that you do step back into the mud, just know that God loves and wants the very best for you. God, your accountability partner, your coach, whomever you've enlisted to help you, won't let you stay dirty. You can always get cleaned up and start all over again.
Now walk it out..............but please STAY OUT OF THE MUD!
Great message and something I really needed to hear! THANK YOU!
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