Today was my first day back at work and Courtland's first day back to school, after the Christmas break. We got in late last night because he had basketball games yesterday evening. It ended with all of us falling over in the bed last night. So my morning quiet time was cut short because we woke up running and on a mission today.
I worked all day, had to do after school pick-up, grabbed dinner for the family, went to Bible study and had a staff meeting afterwards. Umm, I think home-girl is a little tired. But as soon as I walked through the door, I realized that I had not completed my 21 minutes of exercise today. "Let's go Arby...time to get your leash and go for a moonlit stroll".
And so Arby and I set out at 9:21pm ready to get our exercise on. I turned on my gospel music station, put the phone in my pocket, with a leash in one hand and a golf club in my other hand. This was my "quiet" time with God. For those 21 minutes, I was able to pray and talk with God; such a beautiful time alone, yet together. There were a couple of things that I needed to leave at the feet of Jesus. I prayed "Lord take this anxiety away" and as quickly as I said it, I had to rephrase and say, "Lord, I give you my anxiety". At that moment I realized that the power was in my hands. If I don't want it, it's up to me to LET GO OF IT. (I swear, I'm trying not to pick it back up again. Ha!...pray for a Sista.)
Today was not a perfect prayer time, but it was still meaningful because I had an opportunity to share my heart with God, knowing that I had been heard. Whether you are riding in your car, lying in your bed, walking across the street or sitting at a table, your life can always be a prayer. Your prayer life doesn't have to be hard, just open your mouth (and heart) and begin talking with God.
Now walk it out....
Wednesday, January 8, 2020
Tuesday, January 7, 2020
Work on YOU!
Welcome Back Friends.
Two nights ago, the Golden Globe Awards Show was on the television. I was doing something else, but I remember looking up periodically and the movie 'Marriage Story' had been nominated in several categories. Because my hubby and I host an annual marriage retreat, I was intrigued.
Last night after running around together as a family, we decided to go to our own corners of the house and watch whatever we wanted to watch on television. I'm really not an action flick chic...I am more the romantic comedy or sappy love story, so I chose the movie, " Marriage Story" and no one dared to bother me. Ha!
I hadn't watched the trailer, so I really didn't know what the movie was about. I just turned it on, and sat down with a bowl of cheerios, ready to be entertained. I was surprised after the first scene that this movie was not about a happy, loving marriage building and growing stronger together; but rather it is described as an "incisive and compassionate look at a marriage breaking up and a family staying together".
Break up?! Umm...not quite was I was looking for, as the co-host of a marriage retreat where our goal is to strengthen marriages...BUT IT SPOKE TO ME.
The movie is poetic as it begins from the viewpoint of each spouse writing down and telling why they fell in love with the other individual, then the rest of the movie away from that. I won't give it away if you haven't seen it, but I will share with you the lessons that were learned.
Number one lesson: Be true to who you really are. This can apply to your marriage, friendships, family, workplace interactions, etc... So many times we enter relationships and because we've been together for a long time we think that one must begin compromising oneself away, so as not to ruffle any feathers. Initially, you may have set out building relationship and trusting one another, then you hit a bump in the road and realize that "I don't want to do it like that anymore". Speak up! Not to hurt the other individual, but rather to let them know what s going on inside of you. You are cheating the other individual out of getting to know and love the real you.
Number two lesson: Give grace to allow others to grow. First of all, I hope you are engaged in relationships where you can be authentically open and honest with one another. Relationships are not static, but dynamic and ever-evolving and we must allow grace for the other individual to grow. Who they were 20 years ago is probably not the exact replica today. Heck, depending on what happened 2 weeks ago, they have already begun to shift just a little bit. Take a deep breath.....it's going to be alright. Change is inevitable...the key is giving grace and allowing that change to take place.
Number three: Be clear in your expectations and check in periodically, when you are not in crisis mode. In the movie, there was a scene where the individuals started out having a cordial conversation, then it shifted totally when they began to share what their experience was within the relationship. Each one of them had their own version of what had happened in the marriage and they spoke to the other person with such vitriol. Uh, it was so painful to watch!!! But when it was over, they both stood in heartache, tears, regret and yes, even forgiveness. If you work a 9 to 5 job, at some point you've had a quarterly or yearly review. This is the time when a supervisor has an opportunity to review your work and share (hopefully positive) feedback with you. It is difficult not to fight back, if the supervisor disagrees with your work; but it is necessary to receive the comments so you can grow and become a better employee. (Side note: If you don't like the review system, you might want to start your own company and be your own boss. Ha!) This extremely difficult conversation was the shift for them and they actually began building and working together to create the best environment for their son.
You might be wondering, "so what are you saying Sharri?' This is not 'happy new year' language!". But I beg to differ....
The beginning of a new year is the perfect time to reevaluate ALL of your relationships. Have discussions with your people to make sure that you are being authentic and bringing the best version of yourself to the table. If you are not being true to yourself, how in the world can you be true to others? Take a moment to get away and spend quiet time with yourself, then go back and check in with those with whom you are relationship. When Mommy transitioned in 2013, I began to see life a little differently. But Baby.....when Daddy transitioned (almost a year ago), my entire universe sHiFtEd. I'm so grateful to those around me who have given me grace to hurt, stretch and evolve. But I'm also patting myself on the shoulder for not allowing myself to become stagnant, but rather giving myself an opportunity to experience new things and take flight.
Do the self-work this January! Set yourself up for authenticity and success, by digging deep and uncovering the better version of yourself. You are worth it and all of your relationships will be better because you've done the work.
During these 21 days, dig deep and get ready to emerge so you can..... walk it out.
Two nights ago, the Golden Globe Awards Show was on the television. I was doing something else, but I remember looking up periodically and the movie 'Marriage Story' had been nominated in several categories. Because my hubby and I host an annual marriage retreat, I was intrigued.
Last night after running around together as a family, we decided to go to our own corners of the house and watch whatever we wanted to watch on television. I'm really not an action flick chic...I am more the romantic comedy or sappy love story, so I chose the movie, " Marriage Story" and no one dared to bother me. Ha!
I hadn't watched the trailer, so I really didn't know what the movie was about. I just turned it on, and sat down with a bowl of cheerios, ready to be entertained. I was surprised after the first scene that this movie was not about a happy, loving marriage building and growing stronger together; but rather it is described as an "incisive and compassionate look at a marriage breaking up and a family staying together".
Break up?! Umm...not quite was I was looking for, as the co-host of a marriage retreat where our goal is to strengthen marriages...BUT IT SPOKE TO ME.
The movie is poetic as it begins from the viewpoint of each spouse writing down and telling why they fell in love with the other individual, then the rest of the movie away from that. I won't give it away if you haven't seen it, but I will share with you the lessons that were learned.
Number one lesson: Be true to who you really are. This can apply to your marriage, friendships, family, workplace interactions, etc... So many times we enter relationships and because we've been together for a long time we think that one must begin compromising oneself away, so as not to ruffle any feathers. Initially, you may have set out building relationship and trusting one another, then you hit a bump in the road and realize that "I don't want to do it like that anymore". Speak up! Not to hurt the other individual, but rather to let them know what s going on inside of you. You are cheating the other individual out of getting to know and love the real you.
Number two lesson: Give grace to allow others to grow. First of all, I hope you are engaged in relationships where you can be authentically open and honest with one another. Relationships are not static, but dynamic and ever-evolving and we must allow grace for the other individual to grow. Who they were 20 years ago is probably not the exact replica today. Heck, depending on what happened 2 weeks ago, they have already begun to shift just a little bit. Take a deep breath.....it's going to be alright. Change is inevitable...the key is giving grace and allowing that change to take place.
Number three: Be clear in your expectations and check in periodically, when you are not in crisis mode. In the movie, there was a scene where the individuals started out having a cordial conversation, then it shifted totally when they began to share what their experience was within the relationship. Each one of them had their own version of what had happened in the marriage and they spoke to the other person with such vitriol. Uh, it was so painful to watch!!! But when it was over, they both stood in heartache, tears, regret and yes, even forgiveness. If you work a 9 to 5 job, at some point you've had a quarterly or yearly review. This is the time when a supervisor has an opportunity to review your work and share (hopefully positive) feedback with you. It is difficult not to fight back, if the supervisor disagrees with your work; but it is necessary to receive the comments so you can grow and become a better employee. (Side note: If you don't like the review system, you might want to start your own company and be your own boss. Ha!) This extremely difficult conversation was the shift for them and they actually began building and working together to create the best environment for their son.
You might be wondering, "so what are you saying Sharri?' This is not 'happy new year' language!". But I beg to differ....
The beginning of a new year is the perfect time to reevaluate ALL of your relationships. Have discussions with your people to make sure that you are being authentic and bringing the best version of yourself to the table. If you are not being true to yourself, how in the world can you be true to others? Take a moment to get away and spend quiet time with yourself, then go back and check in with those with whom you are relationship. When Mommy transitioned in 2013, I began to see life a little differently. But Baby.....when Daddy transitioned (almost a year ago), my entire universe sHiFtEd. I'm so grateful to those around me who have given me grace to hurt, stretch and evolve. But I'm also patting myself on the shoulder for not allowing myself to become stagnant, but rather giving myself an opportunity to experience new things and take flight.
Do the self-work this January! Set yourself up for authenticity and success, by digging deep and uncovering the better version of yourself. You are worth it and all of your relationships will be better because you've done the work.
During these 21 days, dig deep and get ready to emerge so you can..... walk it out.
Monday, January 6, 2020
It's a 21-day Journey: Time to Recharge
It is 2020 and I am so grateful to be alive and well. As my 15-year old would point out to me, "this is your 1st blog of the DECADE Mom". Everything is monumental with that kid. Ha!
The New Year brings about a fresh start and new beginnings for everyone. A new resolve to eat better, exercise more, pray more consistently and spend less time wasting energy on unnecessary things and inconsequential people. Even our church family begins the new year with a 21- day fast, a reminder to put God first. I'm excited for this time because it's a continuation of something that I actually began at the end of 2019. This fast will allow me to retune and refocus some of the things that I decided to do a little differently.
I came across this quote yesterday and it just centered everything for me. Theologian Barbara Brown Taylor said, "I have a number of different callings. And I think it's possible to be called away from things I have been called to in the past. There are goodbyes as well as hellos in our callings. Because a calling doesn't have to be for a lifetime". This resonated with me because I KNOW that God's favor and anointing rests on me and over the years God has gifted me to do numerous things. But I also recognize as the Bible says in Ecclesiastes 3, "For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;..." What you did last year may not be what you're called to do THIS year, but you will only recognize that if you stay connected to the power source.
Have you ever needed to recharge your cell phone? If you know the charger is already plugged into the wall and all you have to do is walk over and plug the source into the phone, wouldn't you look ridiculous if you stood at the opposite side of the room just looking at the charger and wishing that the phone would miraculously regain its power? Instinctively, you know to walk your little happy tail over to the socket, plug the phone in and wait for time to pass so your phone can work efficiently. Standing there hoping and wishing for the phone to charge sounds absurd, yet we do that when it comes to spirituality and plugging our souls back into its true power source. I invite you to take this journey with me for the next 21 days. Consider this your opportunity to recharge your battery! It's been a while since I've blogged consistently, but I am feeling CALLED to do it for the next 21 days.
I'll share that I've also been called to walk my dog for 21 minutes for the next 21 days. (Arby and I started last night and he was soooo happy.) I've also been called to pray with my kids for the next 21 days. (They pray first, then I close out our prayer.) This will give me an opportunity to hear what's on their hearts and for them to hear what's on my heart for them. So yes, the family-focused journey that I began with them years ago, when I wrote the book, continues. But rather than just praying OVER them, I am praying WITH them. (No longer babies.... but young men. They are 19 and 15 years old now....a totally different calling. My God today!!!)
Each day, my goal is to check back with you and share with you the latest revelations resulting from my own plug-in. It is my prayer that this will encourage you to reconnect to your power source as you meet me here daily.
Be well, be intentional, get plugged in and WALK IT OUT....
The New Year brings about a fresh start and new beginnings for everyone. A new resolve to eat better, exercise more, pray more consistently and spend less time wasting energy on unnecessary things and inconsequential people. Even our church family begins the new year with a 21- day fast, a reminder to put God first. I'm excited for this time because it's a continuation of something that I actually began at the end of 2019. This fast will allow me to retune and refocus some of the things that I decided to do a little differently.
I came across this quote yesterday and it just centered everything for me. Theologian Barbara Brown Taylor said, "I have a number of different callings. And I think it's possible to be called away from things I have been called to in the past. There are goodbyes as well as hellos in our callings. Because a calling doesn't have to be for a lifetime". This resonated with me because I KNOW that God's favor and anointing rests on me and over the years God has gifted me to do numerous things. But I also recognize as the Bible says in Ecclesiastes 3, "For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;..." What you did last year may not be what you're called to do THIS year, but you will only recognize that if you stay connected to the power source.
Have you ever needed to recharge your cell phone? If you know the charger is already plugged into the wall and all you have to do is walk over and plug the source into the phone, wouldn't you look ridiculous if you stood at the opposite side of the room just looking at the charger and wishing that the phone would miraculously regain its power? Instinctively, you know to walk your little happy tail over to the socket, plug the phone in and wait for time to pass so your phone can work efficiently. Standing there hoping and wishing for the phone to charge sounds absurd, yet we do that when it comes to spirituality and plugging our souls back into its true power source. I invite you to take this journey with me for the next 21 days. Consider this your opportunity to recharge your battery! It's been a while since I've blogged consistently, but I am feeling CALLED to do it for the next 21 days.
I'll share that I've also been called to walk my dog for 21 minutes for the next 21 days. (Arby and I started last night and he was soooo happy.) I've also been called to pray with my kids for the next 21 days. (They pray first, then I close out our prayer.) This will give me an opportunity to hear what's on their hearts and for them to hear what's on my heart for them. So yes, the family-focused journey that I began with them years ago, when I wrote the book, continues. But rather than just praying OVER them, I am praying WITH them. (No longer babies.... but young men. They are 19 and 15 years old now....a totally different calling. My God today!!!)
Each day, my goal is to check back with you and share with you the latest revelations resulting from my own plug-in. It is my prayer that this will encourage you to reconnect to your power source as you meet me here daily.
Be well, be intentional, get plugged in and WALK IT OUT....
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