It's time to replant!

This semester in seminary, I am taking a writing course.  I'm a blogger and like to tell narratives that come alive on paper.  Academic writing is an entirely different ballgame, so I'm excited about the opportunity to increase my writing skills.  One of the writing prompts this week was to share one of our earliest memories of writing.

This is what came to mind...

I am not quite certain that I remember in detail my first writing experience, but I do know that I was a letter writer.  I used to write my mother little notes to express my feelings.  Wait, I do remember something!

My mother loved plants and in front of the back-glass patio door was her table full of different types of plants.  Each day, I watched her talk to them, water them, pick off dead pieces and just smile as she watched them grow.  One evening, while my parents were out, my little brother and I were playing around and I fell on the table, knocking one of the pots to the floor.  The plant came unrooted and one of the branches snapped.  I'm pretty sure horror was plastered across my face! I scrambled to pick it up and clean up the mess.  I tried to pack the dirt back down and stuffed the broken limb back into the dirt. 

For the rest of the evening, I watched the plant table to see if anything would change.  Would anyone notice that it looked different?  Would the other plants on the table expose my clumsiness?  My stomach was in knots! After giving the plants the ‘side-eye’ for the rest of the evening, it was time to go to bed.  My older brother coaxed us into going upstairs and getting in the bed before Mommy and Daddy returned.  But something was not right.  I had a nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach.  What was worse, breaking Mommy’s plant or acting as if nothing ever happened, which was really lying about it?  So, what did scary Sharri do? 

I went back in the den, picked up the weary plant, placed it on the kitchen table and wrote Mommy a note of apology before going to my room.  I do not remember the exact words, but I can feel the sentiment even now.  I expressed in the letter how sorry I was to break her plant and I would pay for her to get another one.  After having bared my soul in the letter, I went to bed.  The next morning, when I came down to the breakfast table, the plant was gone, the note was gone, and no one ever mentioned a word about it. It was at that point that I realized to always be honest, not just in my behavior, but honest in my writing as well.  Thanks Mommy!

First of all, kudos to Mommy for giving me the space to be a kid.  Retelling this story makes me think about how important grace is.  She could have responded in so many different ways, but maybe my authenticity connected with her spirit and she already felt my repentant nature.  I hope that I have been able to show this type of grace to my children.

This also showed me something about opening your heart to people and being authentic.  At my core, I wanted Mommy to not be hurt that her beloved plant had been uprooted.  But she probably looked at me as that little plant that would be uprooted time and time again throughout my life.  She knew that the plant wasn't dead, it just needed to be replanted.  Of course, I didn't know that.  Maybe that was a lesson in life that what appears to be broken, really isn't.  Yes, the foundation may have shifted, but it can be replanted and the dirt gently packed around the roots once again.

What you thought was lost and over, is not.  The dirt has only shifted, go back and replant it another way.

Now show yourself some grace, start replanting, and walk it out....

Surrounded by Love

     Last night, I began to anticipate the morning when I would turn 49 years old.  My mind went back in time and I immediately thought of my mother.  Had she been excited knowing that she was about to deliver a baby who almost didn't make it here?  This bundle of joy, ME, who was probably kicking around trying to find some more space in the womb was the same little surprise which kept my mother from having surgery 9 months earlier.  She was scheduled to go in for a procedure, because she had a history with female reproductive issues.  However, as they were prepping her, they took another blood test and said "Mrs. Mattison, you will not be having the procedure today BECAUSE YOU ARE PREGNANT".   I can only imagine how my mother prayed over me for the next 9 months, waiting for the day that we would meet face-to-face.  In fact, it was a Sunday morning that she would miss singing in church, because I was ready to make my entrance into the world. Today, I thought about her.  Oh, if she could see me now!  She'd probably look at me and start crying as she retold this same story.  Her baby-girl was a fighter and was meant to be here.  Thinking of her, as my introduction into and the guide through this world makes me smile.

    Another thing that makes me smile is the love of my husband and my boys.  Earlier in the week, Byron mentioned that he would put me up in a hotel so I could do my nails, read or sleep without any disturbances. Just kick back and enjoy my birthday in solitude. I did not reject the idea because honestly I had already had a thought of doing a solo 'stay-cation'. (Mama just needed a moment.)  He booked the reservation, but I wasn't as excited as I thought I would be. I woke up at 5 am and was happy to clean my house, while everyone still slept.  I ran out to a store for what I thought would be a quick trip and stayed too long.  Ugh!  All I wanted to do was go home, to my people and my own bed. The longer I remained out of the house, the stronger the urge was to just get back home.  When I made it back to the house to pack for my overnight stay, I had to tell Byron that I no longer wanted to go.  He was baffled, but I was resolute. I cancelled the reservation.  What made me happy was that he felt me, he heard me and just wanted to do something nice JUST FOR ME.  However the urge was to spend MY day with MY family.  Once I decided to stay home, Byron and Courtland immediately left home to pick up an ice cream cake (a childhood favorite) and some goodies.  I did my own manicure and pedicure in the living room, while watching a silly movie.  We ordered take out and just enjoyed a nice afternoon/evening together.  As the evening comes to a close and I sit in bed typing this, I realize how blessed I am.  I was loved immensely when I entered this world and at the tender age of 49, I'm still surrounded by love.  I'm grateful!

Now when they get the call one day next week that I'm not coming home, it's because I decided to go for my one-night stay-cation after all. Ha!  On that note........let's walk it out.

Center yourself

     When was the last time you noticed the ground under your feet and how your feet rested on top of the ground?  When was the last time that you felt the chair supporting you?  When was the last time that you sat so quietly that you could hear the tiniest gnat flutter past your ear? When was the last time that you recognized and acknowledged that as you take oxygen into your body, your rib cage actually expands;  and as you exhale, your chest once again falls to resting position?  When was the last time that you were so in tune with the earth that you could hear the steady rhythm drawing you to your center?

If you don't remember the last time, then I invite you to pause now to feel, recognize and acknowledge all of those things aforementioned.

Go ahead...it's your time.  Take a few moments to engage with what you've just read.

Nope, not ready; you haven't done it yet!

Pause......

Breathe in for 4 counts & breathe out for 8 counts.
Again, breathe in for 4 counts & breathe out for 8 counts.
And again, in for 4 counts & breathe out for 8 counts.
Last time, breathe in for 4 counts & breathe out for 8 counts.

Now take time to notice how you feel.

Feel calmer? Heart rate slow down a tad? Do you feel a little warmer? Feel lighter?

If you said yes, to any of these questions then you have probably begun to move back towards YOUR center.  If you answered no to more than one, then repeat the exercise.

During this tumultuous health crisis in our country and around the globe, it's easy to simply lose yourself in the news and hysteria.  You see people running to the store and hoarding and suddenly the fight or flight system is activated in you and you find yourself acting out of character. When this happens, it's time for you to center yourself.

This is not an exercise intended for you to extract yourself from the world and forget about all of your problems; but it is a time to say "I will create a space for myself in this world to recognize and appreciate that I am here and fully engaged".

Just a brief pause...
A moment of recognition...
A glimpse of gratitude...
A time of solace and stillness..
A meditative moment...
A time of tranquility...

And if ever you feel yourself over-stimulated by the latest news reports, repeat this exercise and choose: Faith over fear, Peace over panic and Harmony over hysteria.

God sees, God knows, and God loves...now take comfort in that and walk it out...


Not too far left...

                                                                                                                               ...Not too far right

CENTER

Not so easy today

Today was my first day back at work and Courtland's first day back to school, after the Christmas break.  We got in late last night because he had basketball games yesterday evening.  It ended with all of us falling over in the bed last night.  So my morning quiet time was cut short because we woke up running and on a mission today.

I worked all day, had to do after school pick-up, grabbed dinner for the family, went to Bible study and had a staff meeting afterwards.  Umm, I think home-girl is a little tired.  But as soon as I walked through the door, I realized that I had not completed my 21 minutes of exercise today.  "Let's go Arby...time to get your leash and go for a moonlit stroll".

And so Arby and I set out at 9:21pm ready to get our exercise on.  I turned on my gospel music station, put the phone in my pocket, with a leash in one hand and a golf club in my other hand.  This was my "quiet" time with God.  For those 21 minutes, I was able to pray and talk with God; such a beautiful time alone, yet together.  There were a couple of things that I needed to leave at the feet of Jesus.  I prayed "Lord take this anxiety away" and as quickly as I said it, I had to rephrase and say, "Lord, I give you my anxiety".  At that moment I realized that the power was in my hands.  If I don't want it, it's up to me to LET GO OF IT.  (I swear, I'm trying not to pick it back up again. Ha!...pray for a Sista.)

Today was not a perfect prayer time, but it was still meaningful because I had an opportunity to share my heart with God, knowing that I had been heard.  Whether you are riding in your car, lying in your bed, walking across the street or sitting at a table, your life can always be a prayer.  Your prayer life doesn't have to be hard, just open your mouth (and heart) and begin talking with God.

Now walk it out....

Work on YOU!

Welcome Back Friends.

Two nights ago,  the Golden Globe Awards Show was on the television.  I was doing something else, but I remember looking up periodically and the movie 'Marriage Story' had been nominated in several categories.  Because my hubby and I host an annual marriage retreat, I was intrigued.

Last night after running around together as a family, we decided to go to our own corners of the house and watch whatever we wanted to watch on television.  I'm really not an action flick chic...I am more the romantic comedy or sappy love story, so I chose the movie, " Marriage Story" and no one dared to bother me. Ha!

I hadn't watched the trailer, so I really didn't know what the movie was about.  I just turned it on, and sat down with a bowl of cheerios, ready to be entertained.  I was surprised after the first scene that this movie was not about a happy, loving marriage building and growing stronger together; but rather it is described as an "incisive and compassionate look at a marriage breaking up and a family staying together".

Break up?! Umm...not quite was I was looking for, as the co-host of a marriage retreat where our goal is to strengthen marriages...BUT IT SPOKE TO ME.

The movie is poetic as it begins from the viewpoint of each spouse writing down and telling why they fell in love with the other individual, then the rest of the movie away from that.  I won't give it away if you haven't seen it, but I will share with you the lessons that were learned.  

Number one lesson:  Be true to who you really are.  This can apply to your marriage, friendships, family, workplace interactions, etc...  So many times we enter relationships and because we've been together for a long time we think that one must begin compromising oneself away, so as not to ruffle any feathers.  Initially, you may have set out building relationship and trusting one another, then you hit a bump in the road and realize that "I don't want to do it like that anymore".  Speak up!  Not to hurt the other individual, but rather to let them know what s going on inside of you.  You are cheating the other individual out of getting to know and love the real you.

Number two lesson:  Give grace to allow others to grow.  First of all, I hope you are engaged in relationships where you can be authentically open and honest with one another.  Relationships are not static, but dynamic and ever-evolving and we must allow grace for the other individual to grow.  Who they were 20 years ago is probably not the exact replica today.  Heck, depending on what happened 2 weeks ago, they have already begun to shift just a little bit.  Take a deep breath.....it's going to be alright.  Change is inevitable...the key is giving grace and allowing that change to take place.  

Number three:  Be clear in your expectations and check in periodically, when you are not in crisis mode.  In the movie, there was a scene where the individuals started out having a cordial conversation, then it shifted totally when they began to share what their experience was within the relationship.  Each one of them had their own version of what had happened in the marriage and they spoke to the other person with such vitriol.  Uh, it was so painful to watch!!!  But when it was over, they both stood in heartache, tears, regret and yes, even forgiveness.  If you work a 9 to 5 job, at some point you've had a quarterly or yearly review.  This is the time when a supervisor has an opportunity to review your work and share (hopefully positive) feedback with you.  It is difficult not to fight back, if the supervisor disagrees with your work; but it is necessary to receive the comments so you can grow and become a better employee.  (Side note: If you don't like the review system, you might want to start your own company and be your own boss. Ha!)  This extremely difficult conversation was the shift for them and they actually began building and working together to create the best environment for their son.  

You might be wondering, "so what are you saying Sharri?' This is not 'happy new year' language!".  But I beg to differ....

The beginning of a new year is the perfect time to reevaluate ALL of your relationships.  Have discussions with your people to make sure that you are being authentic and bringing the best version of yourself to the table.  If you are not being true to yourself,  how in the world can you be true to others?  Take a moment to get away and spend quiet time with yourself, then go back and check in with those with whom you are relationship.  When Mommy transitioned in 2013, I began to see life a little differently.  But Baby.....when Daddy transitioned (almost a year ago), my entire universe sHiFtEd.  I'm so grateful to those around me who have given me grace to hurt, stretch and evolve.  But I'm also patting myself on the shoulder for not allowing myself to become stagnant, but rather giving myself an opportunity to experience new things and take flight.

Do the self-work this January! Set yourself up for authenticity and success, by digging deep and uncovering the better version of yourself.  You are worth it and all of your relationships will be better because you've done the work.

During these 21 days, dig deep and get ready to emerge so you can..... walk it out.

It's a 21-day Journey: Time to Recharge

It is 2020 and I am so grateful to be alive and well.  As my 15-year old would point out to me, "this is your 1st blog of the DECADE Mom". Everything is monumental with that kid. Ha!

The New Year brings about a fresh start and new beginnings for everyone.  A new resolve to eat better, exercise more, pray more consistently and spend less time wasting energy on unnecessary things and inconsequential people.  Even our church family begins the new year with a 21- day fast, a reminder to put God first.  I'm excited for this time because it's a continuation of something that I actually began at the end of 2019.  This fast will allow me to retune and refocus some of the things that I decided to do a little differently.

I came across this quote yesterday and it just centered everything for me.  Theologian Barbara Brown Taylor said, "I have a number of different callings. And I think it's possible to be called away from things I have been called to in the past.  There are goodbyes as well as hellos in our callings.  Because a calling doesn't have to be for a lifetime".  This resonated with me because I KNOW that God's favor and anointing rests on me and over the years God has gifted me to do numerous things.  But I also recognize as the Bible says in Ecclesiastes 3, "For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;..."  What you did last year may not be what you're called to do THIS year, but you will only recognize that if you stay connected to the power source.  

Have you ever needed to recharge your cell phone?  If you know the charger is already plugged into the wall and all you have to do is walk over and plug the source into the phone, wouldn't you look ridiculous if you stood at the opposite side of the room just looking at the charger and wishing that the phone would miraculously regain its power?  Instinctively, you know to walk your little happy tail over to the socket, plug the phone in and wait for time to pass so your phone can work efficiently.  Standing there hoping and wishing for the phone to charge sounds absurd, yet we do that when it comes to spirituality and plugging our souls back into its true power source.  I invite you to take this journey with me for the next 21 days.  Consider this your opportunity to recharge your battery!  It's been a while since I've blogged consistently, but I am feeling CALLED to do it for the next 21 days.

I'll share that I've also been called to walk my dog for 21 minutes for the next 21 days. (Arby and I started last night and he was soooo happy.)  I've also been called to pray with my kids for the next 21 days.  (They pray first, then I close out our prayer.)  This will give me an opportunity to hear what's on their hearts and for them to hear what's on my heart for them.  So yes, the family-focused journey that I began with them years ago, when I wrote the book, continues. But rather than just praying OVER them, I am praying WITH them. (No longer babies.... but young men. They are 19 and 15 years old now....a totally different calling. My God today!!!)

Each day, my goal is to check back with you and share with you the latest revelations resulting from my own plug-in.  It is my prayer that this will encourage you to reconnect to your power source as you meet me here daily.

Be well, be intentional, get plugged in and WALK IT OUT....