How my Prayer Walk became my PRAISE!

Since Mothers Day, Arby (my dog) and I have been walking for at least a mile each day.  This has been a great time for me to pray and reconnect with God during the stillness of the morning.  The Lord gave me an assignment to not only cover my family in prayer,  but to extend it to a small group who wanted me to touch and agree with them for something from God.  Each day, even when I don't feel like it, the assignment to pray for others keeps me going.

So this morning was just like all the others....I cooked breakfast, my husband left to take the boys to school and Arby and I began our walk/run.  I always do a slow lap, close to home, just to warm my body up before I begin the jogging portion, which is a little farther from the house.  As we were finishing up the warm-up lap, we were alongside a major street, where cars can travel about 35 mph.  We were walking south, while cars traveled north.  Nothing unusual, right?  NOT!  All of a sudden,  I heard a loud noise.  One of the cars (slightly raggedy) hit a bump in the road and I noticed a cylinder shaped object break loose from under the car.  I thought it was the hubcap coming towards us but it was slightly smaller.   I was trying to decide in this split second, if I should turn around and run, stand still and hope that it would go around me or trudge ahead moving past it.  I FROZE, because I realized that it was traveling diagonally and directly towards us!  As the object hit the curb, it changed trajectory and popped up behind us, finally landed in the grass.  WHAT???!!!!

After my heart left my throat and settled back into my chest, I continued walking and thanking God.  Since I thought that the enemy was trying to discourage me and prevent me from my assignment, I was determined to finish this walk and to pray a little more fervently.  Arby and I entered the jogging phase and before I knew it, the mile was done.  I had completed my mile and I could have gone back to the house, but curiosity was getting the best of me.  I had to go back to the original lap to see if I could find out what that flying object was.  I couldn't see it from the sidewalk, so I had to go up on the next landing to find it.  When I found the object, I took a picture of it but I couldn't stop there.  I had to pick it up and hold it in my hand.  Once I picked it up, I realized that it weighed about 5 lbs.

The 5-lb. disc

My view of the street from where the disc landed. Imagine we're at the cone.

Let's calculate this thing..... a 5-lb disc, traveling at speeds of 35 mph or greater possibly striking me or the dog........where would I be right now?  Not sitting here typing this, that's for sure.  It was at that point that I began shouting out THANKYA  and HALLELUJAH!
My prayers became my praise! 

Now I know what Daddy is talking about when he prays, "Thank you for keeping us from dangers, seen and unseen".  I saw it, but couldn't move out of fear.  But God!  He created a protective shield around Arby and I, preventing any harm from coming to us.  You better believed I skipped back to the house, singing God's praises!!!

What did I learn from this?

1. Don't allow the enemy to take you off of your assignment and course.  (When it happened, my knees were shaking and I could have gone back to the house and just stopped praying.  But I believe that because I stayed and prayed, the names that I called out before God will be blessed today because of MY prayers.)
2. God is a keeper!  (When I don't see Him, He's there! When I don't feel Him, He's there! When it looks like it's the end, God is still right there!  So I must trust and believe that He's going to take care of me.)
3. You can do a praise dance in the middle of the street, with cars passing and a dog on the leash.  ( I don't need an organ, a praise team or a choir....I am the instrument of praise!

Be blessed today and if God places you on assignment, don't be fearful...........walk it out!.............

Mothers....We speak your name and we honor you

As we approach Mother's Day, I am reminded of all the wonderful things that my mother taught me.  I think of how she loved on, fasted for and prayed over me.  I am so grateful!  Though Mommy has been gone 2 years now, I can still hear her words of wisdom.  I can still hear her laugh.  I still see her silly little faces she would make for the camera.  I can still hear her calling out to God to save her family and sometimes just crying when she thought about the goodness of Jesus.  The songs that she wrote are stamped on my heart and I can still see how she would rare back and squal when the song got good to her. And when it got good to her...it was good for everyone else listening. I can still see her shout across the church in her stilettos and leave the choir hanging.  ("Excuse me sister choir director, what are we supposed to sing while you are dancing in the corner?" I'm just sayin'...)  All of that is my Mommy and all of Mommy is in me.  I tell people this often...2 weeks before she transitioned, she was pronouncing the benediction over her own life as she was praying an invocation over mine.  Invoking the spirit of God to rest, rule and reign over my life as I would go forth and do that which He has called me to do.  She was some kind of woman!

So this Mother's day I continue to honor the legacy of a woman who was the bomb.com and I speak her name, Nelda J. Mattison.

I'm reminded of a song performed by Pastor Shirley Caesar, called "No Charge".  As you read the lyrics, I want you to think of that Mother, Grandmother, Step-mother, Auntie, Sister, Godmother, Neighbor, Cousin, or any other mother-figure.  We thank her for not giving up on us, even when we were selfish and self-absorbed. They never charged us for advise, hugs and words of wisdom......all they did was love us...and at no cost.

Here are the lyrics, written by songwriters: Leon Ashley and Margie Singleton.

My sister's little boy came into the kitchen
One evening while she was fixing supper
And he handed her a piece paper
He had been writing on

And after wiping her hands on an apron
She took it in her hands and she read it
And this is what it said

For mowing the yard, five dollars
And for making up my own bed this week, one dollar
For going to the store, fifty cents
And playing with little brother while you went shopping, twenty-five cents

Taking out the trash, one dollar
And for getting a good report card, five dollars
And for raking the yard, two dollars
Total owed, fourteen seventy-five

Well, she looked at him standing there and expecting
And a thousand memories flashed through her mind
So she picked up pen and turned the paper over
And this is what she wrote

For the 9 months I carried you
Growing inside me, no charge

For the nights I sat up with you
Doctored and prayed for you, no charge

For the time and the tears and the costs through the years
There is no charge
When you add it all up the real cost of my love
Is no charge

For the nights filled with dred
And the worries ahead, no charge

For the advice and the knowledge
And the costs of your college, no charge

For the toys, food and clothes
And for wiping your nose there's no charge son
When you add it all up the real cost of my love
Is no charge

When you add it all up the real cost of my love is NO CHARGE! 

NO CHARGE!
NO CHARGE!
NO CHARGE! 

So for every Mother who has sacrificed so that her children could have a different experience and become all that they were purposed to become...

We speak your name and we honor you!
We speak your name and we honor you!

We speak your name and we honor you!

We speak your name and we honor you! 

Now go wish someone a Happy Mommy's Day and walk it out........... 

Forgive yourself TODAY

I forgive myself for studying too hard.

I forgive myself for not being at the top of my class.

I forgive myself for being way too silly.

I forgive myself for not laughing nearly enough.

I forgive myself for not losing the baby fat (although my baby is almost 11 years old)

I forgive myself for making you feel bad as I ate a salad and you ate the bacon cheeseburger and chili fries. (betta’ watch that cholesterol though…I’m just sayin’)

I forgive myself for not calling enough.

I forgive myself for talking way too much.

I forgive myself for not taking the dog for a walk everyday (we do have a backyard).

I forgive myself for not meeting the deadline.

I forgive myself for being the taskmaster so that we could make the deadline.

I forgive myself for writing you off.

I forgive myself for thinking of myself and not your drama.

I forgive myself for thinking I was better than you.

I forgive myself for even entertaining the idea that I am not worthy.

I forgive myself for staying on a job, long past its expiration date.

I forgive myself for quitting the job without a back-up plan.

I forgive myself for being passionate.

I forgive myself for not loving enough.

We have all had days when we felt that we have gone too far and or have not gone far enough.   The quickest way to have a miserable existence is to discount your own feelings and emotions and to hold onto mess that you cannot change.  And honestly it may not be that you can’t change it, but rather you have no desire to change.  No matter how you look at it...IT’S OK.  There is no one out there that believes you must be perfect, so go ahead and forgive yourself.  Live your truth, walk in it and be OK if that truth changes.   The way that you felt last week may not be how you feel today.  Own it and move on.

It is imperative that you are STILL for a while, as you are redirected.  No more crying over what was or what is not.  Unplug, and then regroup!  Everything that you’ve gone through had a purpose and a plan.  If you can hang on during the difficult parts of the journey, then just imagine what God has in store for you as you rest in Him. 

So my friend … forgive yourself, own your truth and walk it out!

Where have you been?

Where have I been you ask?
I've been inside my head. 
Contemplating. Questioning. Reflecting. Pondering. Searching. Researching.
And I'm perfectly okay with that.
Sometimes you need to pause and "be in your feelings", so you are forced to deal with your reality, seek clarity and get up running in a new direction.
Where have I been you ask?
Right where I'm supposed to be!

Quiet the voices, move and shift

Do the voices in your head ever keep your head spinning?
You think about the well-being of your family, how much laundry you still need to wash, your health, the job, your bills, the need to make more money, the desire to take a vacation and so much more.  All of these thoughts and ideas swim around in your head waiting to either take over or to be subdued.

Honestly, there have been many days when I've allowed those thoughts to rule over me and I felt crippled for a short period of time.  But any time in which I am worrying, is too much time!  I have found that by getting up and moving around, I am able to find a reprieve and the voices don't scream as loudly.  When I take time to walk the dog, find a zumba class or simply stroll around the block I lose myself.....NO, I find myself in the activity.

Yesterday, cutting the grass helped me to find center again.  Yes, I have a 14-year old who is more than able to cut our lawn, but sometimes I need to do it for my own well-being. 

The loud, continuous hum of the lawnmower quickly subdued the chatter of voices.  As the sound waves from the mower entered my ear and bounced off of my eardrum, I noticed that my entire energy shifted.  As I mowed in a linear pattern up and down the yard, I took pride in how straight the lines were.  Down one row and up the other, watching my handiwork transform the backyard, I smiled internally. I was faced with the challenge of making my yard beautiful and I forgot about all of those other things.  I was ready to conquer anything and able to subdue the nagging voices that had begun  to cloud my judgment.

Sometimes the spiritual journey is about moving your body and allowing the endorphins to take over and trigger a sense of happiness all over your body.   Once those endorphins kick in, your mood can do nothing else but SHIFT.  Moving is spiritual!  Moving can be like a fast beating drum like a runner or a zumba class or it can be slow and melodic, like a slow stroll around the block or a yoga class.  Whatever it is...FIND yourself in it and watch your entire day and mental status shift.

Now walk it out...

What's in a tear?

Have you ever wanted to cry?

Perhaps you lost a loved one and ache to hear their voice or hold their hand again.
Perhaps you realize that you just made a horrible decision and now you have to deal with the harsh consequences.
Perhaps you have more month than money and can't figure out how to pay your bills.
Perhaps in one trip to the doctor you received a diagnosis that will forever change your life.
Perhaps your dream marriage, home or vacation turned out to be a nightmare.

Do you ever want to cry?

Maybe you feel helpless...
Maybe you're frightened...
Maybe you're frustrated...
Maybe you're angry...
Maybe you're confused...
Maybe you're exhausted...

For all one knows you could be elated...
For all one knows you could be excited...
For all one knows you could be aroused...
For all one knows you could be reflective and thankful...
For all one knows you could be deeply sentimental...
For all one knows you could be extremely sympathetic...

There are so many reasons that we cry, but no matter the reason it seems that we shy away from this display of emotion because we don't people to assume that we're weak.  I think that we all need to pause for a second and realize that crying can be a beautiful thing.

I'm sitting up at 4 o'clock in the morning in silence.  I can hear the sounds of my husband breathing, the grunting of the dog in his sleep, the passing train that sounds so close that it must be in the backyard, the hum of the dryer, the agitation of the washing machine, the periodic drip of water from the faucet, the heater kicking on and off, the wind pushing against the windows and I can feel a warm stream of water cascading down my face.

I'm crying because...
I am completely still and thankful.
I am enjoying a moment of peace.
I am reconnecting with myself and with God.
I am finding my center after all of noise of the day.
When I think of God's goodness, I am completely overwhelmed.
I am humbled at the fact that God loves me and shows me daily.
After all that I've been through, I still have joy.

There is a song that I remember from my childhood, yet I didn't quite know what it meant until I matured.  Sometimes when I am alone and want to connect with God, I sing this song...

"Blessed quietness, Holy quietness

What assurance in my soul 

On a stormy sea, He speaks PEACE to me

And the billows cease to roll."

Now that's a good reason to cry!

I invite you to stay still long enough to feel God's presence and hear his voice and not be afraid to cry.  What's in those tears?  It's more than just saline and hormones.  Think of it as the act of transferance.  As you are releasing your emotions, God is replacing them with exactly what you need.

Your tears of frustration can become tears of faith.

Your tears of heartache can become tears of happiness.

Your tears of longing can become tears of love.

Your tears of desperation can become tears of deliverance.

So I encourage to be present in your emotions, but remain open to God and allow His love to transform your tears into something powerful.

Now grab a tissue my friend and walk it out!

What are you so afraid of?

You've been talking about it, but you haven't acted on it yet.
You've been awakened at night with only this on your mind, yet once you were fully awake you began to doubt your ability.
You talk about it constantly with friends, yet when given the opportunity, you shy away.
You've even prayed and asked God for direction, He showed you the path, yet you decided to turn around and head the other way.

What are you so afraid of?

Do you think that if you truly walked in your calling, your friends would walk away? (They're probably not your real friends.)
Do you think your family would think you're crazy?  Maybe you've heard this before..."How are you going to leave that good-paying job to do THAT".
Do you think that if you start it and somehow it doesn't work the way that you anticipated, you'll be embarrassed and have to "eat humble pie"?

So what?

What if all of these things do happen?  What if you're family and friends do treat you differently? What if your first attempt doesn't have the success that you had initially intended?  So what if you takes you a longer time to get there?

The fact of the matter is, you have experienced failure before.  At some point in your life, you have failed a test or two, yet you still graduated.  At some point in your life, you've experienced a horrible break up, but you're more discerning than you were before.  At some point in your life, you've had to eat different flavors of humble pie, but you're still standing.  At some point in your life, you've been in a financial situation, so broke is not a new concept to you.

You've experienced all of this before, so stop acting as if you don't know what to do.  You know that all you have to do is stop, assess the situation, pray, turn around, redirect and strike out again.  But you will notice that the next time.........you are stronger, wiser, more resilient, more focused and more determined.

You are able to carry the vision, because God gave the vision to you.
People will be blessed and inspired, once you begin to walk in your calling and follow your dreams.
You will learn and grow from the past and catapult yourself into your destiny, if you allow yourself to be open to the infinite possibilities.

My friend it's alright to be afraid, as long as you're not crippled by it.  There is no secret recipe...it takes hard-work, salty tears, prayer and resolution. Your journey may look totally different from the one who is running beside you...that's alright...just stay in your lane.

Now go lace up your tennis shoes and walk it out...