If you are an encourager, go ahead and encourage someone today. Stop living inside of your head. So many times, someone has come across my mind and I would wonder,"hmm where have they been?" At other times, I stopped and called their name in prayer. But lately, God has me using technology and either texting or calling them to let them know that they came across my mind.
Nine times out of 10, the individual needed my word, text or call because they were going through a rough patch and needed an uplift. Don't despise the gift that lies inside of you. If you have the gift of encouragement, go ahead and do it. It only takes a few minutes out of your schedule, but it could potentially alter someone else's course for the rest of the day, week or month.
Listen, you may not say things that will reach the masses, but you can affect the circle of influence where God has placed you.
I encourage you to be an encourager! Truth be told, it will bless you too.
Now walk it out...
Monday, September 8, 2014
Friday, August 8, 2014
Transition and Transformation...it's all in your mind!
This message was originally intended for the women in our women's ministry, but I couldn't keep it to myself. God gave it to me to bless you!
Hello my Sister,
This morning I woke up with you on my mind. Over the last couple of months, I have come across women who are experiencing great transitions in their lives. Some are going through a divorce; some have just gotten married; some are pregnant; some are dealing with the grief of losing a child; some are dealing with the fact that they will soon have an empty nest; some have moved to another state; some will soon relocate clear across the country; some are having financial difficulties; and some are on jobs that don't bring fulfillment, but pay the bills. There are other ladies who are depressed because they think they should be much farther along; some are trying to walk out of unhealthy relationships; some are dealing with health issues; and there are some who feel rejected by people and abandoned by God.
Whether you find yourself in any of these situations, you are still going through some type of transition. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines transition as a "passage from one state, stage, subject or place to another". We are all on the edge of a decision. We have a decision to accept the situation that we're currently in or the decision to move past our current location mentally, even if we can't separate ourselves physically. Transition!!!
Sometimes people look at my life and think that I have it all together. Look again! Yes, God gave me great parents and family, but I can remember those times when our electricity or water was temporarily cut off because the bill came before Daddy's paycheck. Yes, God blessed me with a voice to praise Him, but you weren't there the times when I cried and sang myself to sleep at night. Yes, I went to Spelman College and to Podiatric Medical School, but I'm still in debt over it. Some might even look at me and say, "hey, but you're a doctor". Uh yes, I am a PO-DI-A-TRIST (foot & ankle doctor)... I should be in a hospital somewhere, scrubbing in on a surgery or doing rounds at a nursing home. But Noooo I am here writing to you. What in the world?! What medical doctor sits and writes blogs to encourage people? I'm not supposed to be here!!!
Or am I right where God wants me?
I've seen great victory in my life because I transitioned my mind to believe that I am right where God wants me to be. Yes, I have been blessed with some wonderful things and opportunities, but even still I was "Created for MORE...".
You, too, can make that decision to believe that your transition is the precipice of your breakthrough.
My sister you are:
Personal note: During the last few years of Mommy's life, I began ministering to her about using what God had given her. My mother was an awesome singer, songwriter and directed many choirs in her day. She loved to encourage people. She could sit down to talk to you and preach a sermon right there. She gave the best hugs and people at her church loved to get a smile, hug or word of encouragement from "Sister Mattison". However during the last few years of her life she had so many challenges with her health. Kidney disease, joint disease and cancer was taking a slow toll on her. She couldn't make it to church as often as she'd like and if she did press her way, oftentimes, she was in excruciating pain. Oh but she could get a prayer through for you! I could tell that she battled with moments of depression, because she couldn't get around like she used to. But as God told Moses, to "use what he had in his hand"....I told my mother to use her words of encouragement to bless someone. Because she was so respected in the church, I knew that one word from her would brighten someone's day. My oldest brother bought her a box of cards and she began sending out cards to people on the prayer list. The month before Mommy passed, I went home and someone from church told me that she had received a card of encouragement from "Sister Mattison". She was so excited to tell me how special that one gesture made her feel.
See! No matter what situation you're in, God can use you to bless someone's life. You are Created for More than what you think! Maybe you can't do everything that you'd like to do, but once you make that transition in your mind, God can use you right where you are!!!
Hello my Sister,
This morning I woke up with you on my mind. Over the last couple of months, I have come across women who are experiencing great transitions in their lives. Some are going through a divorce; some have just gotten married; some are pregnant; some are dealing with the grief of losing a child; some are dealing with the fact that they will soon have an empty nest; some have moved to another state; some will soon relocate clear across the country; some are having financial difficulties; and some are on jobs that don't bring fulfillment, but pay the bills. There are other ladies who are depressed because they think they should be much farther along; some are trying to walk out of unhealthy relationships; some are dealing with health issues; and there are some who feel rejected by people and abandoned by God.
Whether you find yourself in any of these situations, you are still going through some type of transition. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines transition as a "passage from one state, stage, subject or place to another". We are all on the edge of a decision. We have a decision to accept the situation that we're currently in or the decision to move past our current location mentally, even if we can't separate ourselves physically. Transition!!!
Sometimes people look at my life and think that I have it all together. Look again! Yes, God gave me great parents and family, but I can remember those times when our electricity or water was temporarily cut off because the bill came before Daddy's paycheck. Yes, God blessed me with a voice to praise Him, but you weren't there the times when I cried and sang myself to sleep at night. Yes, I went to Spelman College and to Podiatric Medical School, but I'm still in debt over it. Some might even look at me and say, "hey, but you're a doctor". Uh yes, I am a PO-DI-A-TRIST (foot & ankle doctor)... I should be in a hospital somewhere, scrubbing in on a surgery or doing rounds at a nursing home. But Noooo I am here writing to you. What in the world?! What medical doctor sits and writes blogs to encourage people? I'm not supposed to be here!!!
Or am I right where God wants me?
I've seen great victory in my life because I transitioned my mind to believe that I am right where God wants me to be. Yes, I have been blessed with some wonderful things and opportunities, but even still I was "Created for MORE...".
You, too, can make that decision to believe that your transition is the precipice of your breakthrough.
My sister you are:
- more than your bank account
- more than your marital status
- more than your job
- more than your fertility situation
- more than your physical appearance
- more than ________________ (fill in the blank)
Personal note: During the last few years of Mommy's life, I began ministering to her about using what God had given her. My mother was an awesome singer, songwriter and directed many choirs in her day. She loved to encourage people. She could sit down to talk to you and preach a sermon right there. She gave the best hugs and people at her church loved to get a smile, hug or word of encouragement from "Sister Mattison". However during the last few years of her life she had so many challenges with her health. Kidney disease, joint disease and cancer was taking a slow toll on her. She couldn't make it to church as often as she'd like and if she did press her way, oftentimes, she was in excruciating pain. Oh but she could get a prayer through for you! I could tell that she battled with moments of depression, because she couldn't get around like she used to. But as God told Moses, to "use what he had in his hand"....I told my mother to use her words of encouragement to bless someone. Because she was so respected in the church, I knew that one word from her would brighten someone's day. My oldest brother bought her a box of cards and she began sending out cards to people on the prayer list. The month before Mommy passed, I went home and someone from church told me that she had received a card of encouragement from "Sister Mattison". She was so excited to tell me how special that one gesture made her feel.
See! No matter what situation you're in, God can use you to bless someone's life. You are Created for More than what you think! Maybe you can't do everything that you'd like to do, but once you make that transition in your mind, God can use you right where you are!!!
The Bible says in Roman 12:2, "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God". (I grew up on the King James version, but I like the New Living translation.) "Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect". It's about Transition and Transformation!!!
You have the opportunity to see yourself and your situation differently! Stop making excuses for what you can't do and begin to celebrate what you can do. Surround yourself with other sisters who can be real and transparent, who will lift your spirits when you need a boost. Stop focusing on doing and relish in the idea of being all that God has created you to be. No comparisons! No self- judgments! You have NOTHING to prove!
Transform your way of thinking and embrace the journey. God has called you to where you are for a purpose. He has a plan for you and if you stay connected, He will begin to reveal His plan to you. My sister, trust the process and enjoy the journey. You were "Created for More...".
Now walk it out...
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
Prayer, Distractions and Fear
Sunday morning, I decided to take the dog for an
early morning walk. It was about 6:30
am, the air was cool, the streets were quiet, and I began praying for my
family, as Arby trotted along happily.
My prayers were really getting intense and I felt as if God was really
listening to me. Arby and I turned the corner, only to see two unleashed
pit-bull puppies tussling in their front yard.
I tried to exit onto another street before we were spotted. As I headed down the side street and turned
my back, I could hear the owner yelling, “come back here”. I had to make a split second decision. Do I quickly run down the side street with
Arby? Or do we turn around, face the dogs and move closer towards the dogs and
their owner?
We opted to face
the dogs. My fear was if I ran away, I
would draw the dogs further away from their owners, which would offer us no
protection. So I decided to stay the course. They were puppies and they
wanted to play, so they began sniffing Arby and tried to intimidate him. He froze, as I tried to pull him away from
the other two dogs. About that time, the
owners reached us with the leashes, apologized and we kept moving along our
initial path.
After three
blocks, the adrenaline began to wear off and I remembered that I had been
praying over my family before all the excitement began. So I started in prayer once again and was
immediately flooded with emotion. It
dawned on me that as I began to get closer to God and pray intentionally over
my family, the enemy sent something to scare me and get me off of my desired
path. HE LOST! As I picked up praying, where I’d left off,
there was a great sense of calm that lasted for the duration of the morning
walk.
Once you decide to
place your family before God, there might be distractions sent to get you off
course. There will be a thousand excuses
as to why you don’t have time to do this.
But if you face the distractions, overcome the fear, and live with
intentionality, God will create such a peace in your life, which will spill
over onto the ones that you love.
In the last few days, I've heard so many messages about overcoming your fears. Fear is a natural emotion given by God to protect us in times of danger. There is an alert that goes through your nervous system that uses fear to equip you for battle or to enable you to run to safety (fight or flight). The thing we must do is channel the fear, so that it propels us to move forward. The dogs on our path were nothing but a distraction to veer us off of our course. The fear that I felt was REAL, but when I channeled it and moved closer to confront it, the boldness inside of me sprang up. We faced the fear, found out the situation was not as bad as I had initially thought, and continued moving in the same direction that we had set before us.
I praise God for a Sunday morning stroll to reinforce how I can ignore the distractions and face the fear.
Now grab your sneakers and walk it out....
I praise God for a Sunday morning stroll to reinforce how I can ignore the distractions and face the fear.
Now grab your sneakers and walk it out....
Thursday, July 3, 2014
If it doesn't fit, you must acquit!
If you are above the age of 30, you know this phrase quite well and probably know exactly where you were when you heard it. (Hint: The OJ trial). Well of course we aren't talking about him today, this is about you and I and the great lengths we go to, in order to make something fit.
So let's have a podiatric teaching moment. I'm sure you have heard of corns and callouses. It's those dry patches of skin on the bottom of your feet or on the bend of your toes. They are usually caused by an excessive amount of friction that a shoe places on high pressure points of the foot. At times, they can be unsightly, so we get a pedicure where the nail tech buffs or sands down the extra layer of skin. No problem right? Sure, if you don't go back to the same thing that caused the extra friction in the first place. There is another type of corn though that no one else can see but you. It's called heloma molle, or soft corn. A soft corn, commonly found between the 4th & 5th toes, is usually caused by an abnormality in bone shape of the toes. Extra pressure is put on this area by adjacent bones rubbing up against each other, especially seen in women wearing high heels and forcing extra pressure to the front of the foot inside a narrow shoe toe box.
Class is in session. Are you still with me?
The soft corn may get better if you switch to flatter shoes with a wider toe box, allowing for each toe to have space and not abut each other. If this doesn't work though, it may call for surgery to reshape the bones that are causing the problem. So you do know that you're not reading this, so you can enter podiatric medical school. There is always a life lesson!
So I must tell you a story...
My husband and I had the opportunity to get away for a few days and last night we went to dinner. I had packed a comfortable black & white maxi dress, but had forgotten the shoes at home. Rather than choose a different outfit and wear shoes that I had in my suitcase, I got the bright idea to hunt for a pair of shoes close to the hotel. (I mean it doesn't take much for me to have a reason to shop.) Yes, I could have worn the black sandals that were in my suitcase, but I know that my husband likes to see me in heels, because my calves are poppin'. (Okay, so now that I'm saying that....it's really dumb because the dress was so long that he couldn't see my calves anyway.) Duh!
When I went to the neighboring shopping area (not a mall), I walked into a store that had several black shoes. I saw one of the cutest black wedges, but they didn't have my size. The saleswoman showed me another shoe, but all she had was a 9.5, not a 10. She told me to try it on because the shoes ran big anyway. Sure enough the right shoe fit just fine, but that left shoe was another story. I even said to her, I have problems with my left foot, so I'm really not sure. (Side note: About 6-7 years ago, while on family vacation, I was trying to convince my younger son to jump in the hotel pool. To show him that I wasn't afraid, I ran and jumped high in the air and into the water to create a splash and squeal with laughter. However my squeal was one of pain...I had jumped into the wrong end of the pool (only3.5 feet) and jammed my left big toe on the bottom of the pool. Honestly, thank God I didn't break my foot. Since that time however, my left foot has not been the same and I'm noticing more and more that as I age and fluctuate in weight, my left foot becomes more challenging to fit into a cute shoe.) So back to the story...
I knew that I shouldn't have purchased that shoe, but it was cute AND 40% off. It was a done deal! I immediately had buyer's remorse, but I went back to the hotel to shower and get ready for dinner. Of course, my hubby loved the shoe so I put it on. But before leaving for dinner, I had to take the shoe off, pull out the hotel blow dryer, trying to heat the leather, and stretch the shoe before placing it back on. Because I'm a podiatrist, I know how to shave the soft corn between the toes; so I basically performed bathroom surgery on myself. (Those little black sandals were still calling my name. "Pick me...oooh please pick me".) I ignored the cries of the sandal and put the heels on anyway. (I'm not totally stupid though, because I did wrap the sandals and place them inside of my purse.) Initially walking in them was not that bad. But as we rode to the restaurant, I could feel a dull aching pain creeping from my foot to my leg and on up into my thigh. My foot joints were maligned and it was causing a discomfort that was beginning to affect other parts of my body. I tried to shift in the car, but it still was uncomfortable. After a while my body got used to the pain and blocked it out. (The body has a way to adapt and push past or numb the pain.) As I entered the restaurant, my foot was no longer an issue, especially after a glass of wine. (...Don't judge me!) I was fine, until after dinner when it was time to stand and walk back to the car. As soon as I got in the car, I pulled those sandals out and my little toes began to cheer.
So what do these black pumps have to do with my life, you ask.
They have every thing to do with you and I and how we continue to keep things that are not good for us. It's about how we keep things around us to "save face". It's about how easy it us for us to ignore the tiny little voice in our head that tries to warn us to act differently. It's about how we live in the past, because it's familiar, and we've learned how to numb the pain. It's how we are afraid to branch out and try something new for fear that we will be judged or not liked. This is about our lives!
As a I mentioned, my accident happened about 5-6 years ago and it's been progressively getting worse. Do you think that I should have changed my shoe style a long time ago to prevent this day from coming? See the problem was not just the jamming of the big toe. The jamming caused my 1st metatarsal-phalangeal joint to be compromised, so the bones can no longer glide on each other smoothly. So my big toe is limited, which caused my other joints in my foot to shift, which when jammed into a tight toe box, causes friction between the 4th & 5th toe, leaving me with a painful soft corn that no one else can see. The problem is that I can lie to myself and act as if nothing is wrong, because the corn is not visible to anyone. The corn may not be visible, but the effects of the corn are palpable.
People may not see the corn, but they see you limping.
People may not see the corn, but they see you wince in pain.
People may not see the corn, but they can see your change in attitude when you are tested and have to walk a long distance.
People may not see the corn, but they observe how you numb the pain by drinking or snapping or lying and acting as if everything is alright. But deep down inside, you are hurting at the core.
So what can we do about it now? It's time to raid the closet and get rid of those things that are keeping us bound and locked into a state of pain.
Maybe it's those green, suede sling-backs of envy....maybe you're jealous of your co-worker or a sibling.
You need to let it go!
Maybe it's those navy patent leather, open-toed shoes of a hard heart...someone hurt you in the past, while you were open and vulnerable, so now you have created this false sense of toughness and speak with a sharp tongue.
You need to let it go!
Maybe it's those strappy, black red-bottoms...for each strap that covers the skin, there is an open space that leaves you exposed.
You need to let it go!
Let go of the past hurts, pains, incidents, accidents, things that you cannot change! They do not suit you well. If you keep them around for too long, they will only cause other problems. So let it go!
Make the decision right now, to let go of the past and live smarter, wiser and healthier, so you can move into the next phase of your life. When you are no longer living out your past pains, you can move into your future and affect change in other people.
Change your shoes, change you mindset, change your destiny and change your legacy!
Now walk it out...
So let's have a podiatric teaching moment. I'm sure you have heard of corns and callouses. It's those dry patches of skin on the bottom of your feet or on the bend of your toes. They are usually caused by an excessive amount of friction that a shoe places on high pressure points of the foot. At times, they can be unsightly, so we get a pedicure where the nail tech buffs or sands down the extra layer of skin. No problem right? Sure, if you don't go back to the same thing that caused the extra friction in the first place. There is another type of corn though that no one else can see but you. It's called heloma molle, or soft corn. A soft corn, commonly found between the 4th & 5th toes, is usually caused by an abnormality in bone shape of the toes. Extra pressure is put on this area by adjacent bones rubbing up against each other, especially seen in women wearing high heels and forcing extra pressure to the front of the foot inside a narrow shoe toe box.
Class is in session. Are you still with me?
The soft corn may get better if you switch to flatter shoes with a wider toe box, allowing for each toe to have space and not abut each other. If this doesn't work though, it may call for surgery to reshape the bones that are causing the problem. So you do know that you're not reading this, so you can enter podiatric medical school. There is always a life lesson!
So I must tell you a story...
My husband and I had the opportunity to get away for a few days and last night we went to dinner. I had packed a comfortable black & white maxi dress, but had forgotten the shoes at home. Rather than choose a different outfit and wear shoes that I had in my suitcase, I got the bright idea to hunt for a pair of shoes close to the hotel. (I mean it doesn't take much for me to have a reason to shop.) Yes, I could have worn the black sandals that were in my suitcase, but I know that my husband likes to see me in heels, because my calves are poppin'. (Okay, so now that I'm saying that....it's really dumb because the dress was so long that he couldn't see my calves anyway.) Duh!
When I went to the neighboring shopping area (not a mall), I walked into a store that had several black shoes. I saw one of the cutest black wedges, but they didn't have my size. The saleswoman showed me another shoe, but all she had was a 9.5, not a 10. She told me to try it on because the shoes ran big anyway. Sure enough the right shoe fit just fine, but that left shoe was another story. I even said to her, I have problems with my left foot, so I'm really not sure. (Side note: About 6-7 years ago, while on family vacation, I was trying to convince my younger son to jump in the hotel pool. To show him that I wasn't afraid, I ran and jumped high in the air and into the water to create a splash and squeal with laughter. However my squeal was one of pain...I had jumped into the wrong end of the pool (only3.5 feet) and jammed my left big toe on the bottom of the pool. Honestly, thank God I didn't break my foot. Since that time however, my left foot has not been the same and I'm noticing more and more that as I age and fluctuate in weight, my left foot becomes more challenging to fit into a cute shoe.) So back to the story...
I knew that I shouldn't have purchased that shoe, but it was cute AND 40% off. It was a done deal! I immediately had buyer's remorse, but I went back to the hotel to shower and get ready for dinner. Of course, my hubby loved the shoe so I put it on. But before leaving for dinner, I had to take the shoe off, pull out the hotel blow dryer, trying to heat the leather, and stretch the shoe before placing it back on. Because I'm a podiatrist, I know how to shave the soft corn between the toes; so I basically performed bathroom surgery on myself. (Those little black sandals were still calling my name. "Pick me...oooh please pick me".) I ignored the cries of the sandal and put the heels on anyway. (I'm not totally stupid though, because I did wrap the sandals and place them inside of my purse.) Initially walking in them was not that bad. But as we rode to the restaurant, I could feel a dull aching pain creeping from my foot to my leg and on up into my thigh. My foot joints were maligned and it was causing a discomfort that was beginning to affect other parts of my body. I tried to shift in the car, but it still was uncomfortable. After a while my body got used to the pain and blocked it out. (The body has a way to adapt and push past or numb the pain.) As I entered the restaurant, my foot was no longer an issue, especially after a glass of wine. (...Don't judge me!) I was fine, until after dinner when it was time to stand and walk back to the car. As soon as I got in the car, I pulled those sandals out and my little toes began to cheer.
So what do these black pumps have to do with my life, you ask.
They have every thing to do with you and I and how we continue to keep things that are not good for us. It's about how we keep things around us to "save face". It's about how easy it us for us to ignore the tiny little voice in our head that tries to warn us to act differently. It's about how we live in the past, because it's familiar, and we've learned how to numb the pain. It's how we are afraid to branch out and try something new for fear that we will be judged or not liked. This is about our lives!
As a I mentioned, my accident happened about 5-6 years ago and it's been progressively getting worse. Do you think that I should have changed my shoe style a long time ago to prevent this day from coming? See the problem was not just the jamming of the big toe. The jamming caused my 1st metatarsal-phalangeal joint to be compromised, so the bones can no longer glide on each other smoothly. So my big toe is limited, which caused my other joints in my foot to shift, which when jammed into a tight toe box, causes friction between the 4th & 5th toe, leaving me with a painful soft corn that no one else can see. The problem is that I can lie to myself and act as if nothing is wrong, because the corn is not visible to anyone. The corn may not be visible, but the effects of the corn are palpable.
People may not see the corn, but they see you limping.
People may not see the corn, but they see you wince in pain.
People may not see the corn, but they can see your change in attitude when you are tested and have to walk a long distance.
People may not see the corn, but they observe how you numb the pain by drinking or snapping or lying and acting as if everything is alright. But deep down inside, you are hurting at the core.
So what can we do about it now? It's time to raid the closet and get rid of those things that are keeping us bound and locked into a state of pain.
Maybe it's those green, suede sling-backs of envy....maybe you're jealous of your co-worker or a sibling.
You need to let it go!
Maybe it's those navy patent leather, open-toed shoes of a hard heart...someone hurt you in the past, while you were open and vulnerable, so now you have created this false sense of toughness and speak with a sharp tongue.
You need to let it go!
Maybe it's those strappy, black red-bottoms...for each strap that covers the skin, there is an open space that leaves you exposed.
You need to let it go!
Let go of the past hurts, pains, incidents, accidents, things that you cannot change! They do not suit you well. If you keep them around for too long, they will only cause other problems. So let it go!
Make the decision right now, to let go of the past and live smarter, wiser and healthier, so you can move into the next phase of your life. When you are no longer living out your past pains, you can move into your future and affect change in other people.
Change your shoes, change you mindset, change your destiny and change your legacy!
Now walk it out...
Saturday, June 28, 2014
I've betrayed myself
It's 4:00 am and I am up drinking hot lemon water (from the sexy clear coffee mug), washing clothes and watching my recorded showings of Super Soul Sunday. I just finished watching an episode with Carolyn Myss, where she talks about intuition, grace and being true to yourself. She said that a there is nothing worse than betraying yourself. She and Oprah likened it to being in a marriage that you know isn't good for you or staying on a job that you're not supposed to be on. But what if you haven't experienced these big things. You might say, "oh no that's not me...I have not betrayed myself...my marriage is fine, my kids are adjusted, I have a great job...betrayal is not my experience." Don't jump so quickly that you miss the lesson, because I almost did.
I forgot to mention that I am up so early because I have indigestion. I was awakened at 3:00 am with an uncomfortable knot in my throat and chest (not a heart attack because I knew the culprits). Yesterday, I cooked dinner before going to the gym with the husband, so we could eat a healthy meal upon our return. However after the gym, we made a quick stop at "H & 8th" which is a new food truck event that happens on the last Friday of every month. Food trucks are set up within a 3 block stretch and people come from all parts of the city, willing to stand in long lines to taste the cuisine and to enjoy the electric atmosphere. It's really a fun event. I was exhausted after the gym and just wanted to go home. However my hubby wanted to just stop by and check it out. So we did...
I waited in the car and when he returned, he entered the car and said, "I have one of your favorites...". He had gotten me, fried okra. And oh was it cooked well and quite delicious! I ate it on the way home, still ready to eat the dinner that I had already prepared. Once we arrived home, I realized that he had actually purchased a fried chicken wing dinner with more okra. I gave the boys 2 of my wings and preceded with the purchased dinner. That would have been fine, but I decided that I needed to taste what I had prepared, along with the purchased items. (I did mention that I had just gone to the gym. Duh...what was I thinking?) So I had officially stuffed myself, with 2 dinners and a margarita. Hmmm, not felling so well. But it doesn't end there...
Earlier in the day I had promised my younger son that we would make a cake. So while we were in the kitchen, I did just that. One strawberry cake...coming up soon! I lounged around, while waiting for the cake to cook, cool and be frosted. When it was finally done, I announced that the cake was ready. Oh the squeals of excitement that coursed through our home. Everyone was pleased and Mommy had done well for the evening. Or had she?
Not only did I sabotage my workout with fried okra, fried chicken wings, a margarita, the prepared dinner and strawberry cake; but I had the bright idea of placing a little ice cream (that had been in the freezer for weeks) to accompany the cake. Oh yeah I forgot to mention that at the tender age of 42, I have discovered that I am lactose intolerant. Can this evening get any worse?
In the last 12 years or so, I have struggled with ice cream and sometimes milk (I've recently switched to rice milk). Just 3 weeks ago after eating a small scoop of ice cream, I was doubled over in pain the next day. A friend suggested keeping Beano in my purse, so if I ever decided to cheat again, I would be prepared. (Hmm...if I ever decided to cheat, I'd be prepared......cogitate on that for a moment.) I have cheated since then, taken the Beano and the next morning realized that I had no gas effects, but I did have an uncomfortable knot in my chest/throat. One would think that I would have gotten on the right track, stayed away from dairy, which would negate the need for the Beano....right?. Obviously not, because I'm awake writing you, pain still in my chest/ throat, sipping on hot lemon water making promises to God that "if you let me get out of this one...I won't do it again".
The revelation of why I am sitting here is in a line from the prerecorded show with Oprah and Carolyn Myss. She said, when your life path begins to harm you it means you have taken a detour and when you feel like you're losing yourself, it means that you are betraying yourself in some way. She goes further to say that when you betray yourself, you are no different than any other person that might have betrayed you. Oh Lawd, really?!
You mean that I can knowingly betray myself? Although I had already messed up the evening with my horrible food choices, I took it a step further and betrayed myself by popping the Beano in my mouth before eating the ice cream. I knew what I was doing was wrong for me, but I wanted to experience it and feel the temporary high.
You are probably saying to yourself, yeah Sharri that was pretty dumb! Let me caution you not to judge my actions so quickly, before you examine what is going on in your life. So many of us are keeping something around for that "just in case" moment.
I forgot to mention that I am up so early because I have indigestion. I was awakened at 3:00 am with an uncomfortable knot in my throat and chest (not a heart attack because I knew the culprits). Yesterday, I cooked dinner before going to the gym with the husband, so we could eat a healthy meal upon our return. However after the gym, we made a quick stop at "H & 8th" which is a new food truck event that happens on the last Friday of every month. Food trucks are set up within a 3 block stretch and people come from all parts of the city, willing to stand in long lines to taste the cuisine and to enjoy the electric atmosphere. It's really a fun event. I was exhausted after the gym and just wanted to go home. However my hubby wanted to just stop by and check it out. So we did...
I waited in the car and when he returned, he entered the car and said, "I have one of your favorites...". He had gotten me, fried okra. And oh was it cooked well and quite delicious! I ate it on the way home, still ready to eat the dinner that I had already prepared. Once we arrived home, I realized that he had actually purchased a fried chicken wing dinner with more okra. I gave the boys 2 of my wings and preceded with the purchased dinner. That would have been fine, but I decided that I needed to taste what I had prepared, along with the purchased items. (I did mention that I had just gone to the gym. Duh...what was I thinking?) So I had officially stuffed myself, with 2 dinners and a margarita. Hmmm, not felling so well. But it doesn't end there...
Earlier in the day I had promised my younger son that we would make a cake. So while we were in the kitchen, I did just that. One strawberry cake...coming up soon! I lounged around, while waiting for the cake to cook, cool and be frosted. When it was finally done, I announced that the cake was ready. Oh the squeals of excitement that coursed through our home. Everyone was pleased and Mommy had done well for the evening. Or had she?
Not only did I sabotage my workout with fried okra, fried chicken wings, a margarita, the prepared dinner and strawberry cake; but I had the bright idea of placing a little ice cream (that had been in the freezer for weeks) to accompany the cake. Oh yeah I forgot to mention that at the tender age of 42, I have discovered that I am lactose intolerant. Can this evening get any worse?
In the last 12 years or so, I have struggled with ice cream and sometimes milk (I've recently switched to rice milk). Just 3 weeks ago after eating a small scoop of ice cream, I was doubled over in pain the next day. A friend suggested keeping Beano in my purse, so if I ever decided to cheat again, I would be prepared. (Hmm...if I ever decided to cheat, I'd be prepared......cogitate on that for a moment.) I have cheated since then, taken the Beano and the next morning realized that I had no gas effects, but I did have an uncomfortable knot in my chest/throat. One would think that I would have gotten on the right track, stayed away from dairy, which would negate the need for the Beano....right?. Obviously not, because I'm awake writing you, pain still in my chest/ throat, sipping on hot lemon water making promises to God that "if you let me get out of this one...I won't do it again".
The revelation of why I am sitting here is in a line from the prerecorded show with Oprah and Carolyn Myss. She said, when your life path begins to harm you it means you have taken a detour and when you feel like you're losing yourself, it means that you are betraying yourself in some way. She goes further to say that when you betray yourself, you are no different than any other person that might have betrayed you. Oh Lawd, really?!
You mean that I can knowingly betray myself? Although I had already messed up the evening with my horrible food choices, I took it a step further and betrayed myself by popping the Beano in my mouth before eating the ice cream. I knew what I was doing was wrong for me, but I wanted to experience it and feel the temporary high.
You are probably saying to yourself, yeah Sharri that was pretty dumb! Let me caution you not to judge my actions so quickly, before you examine what is going on in your life. So many of us are keeping something around for that "just in case" moment.
- Just in case my husband makes me mad, I still have my "friend's" number in my phone or on Facebook...I can just send a quick inbox or text, cause I know he'll make me feel better. Self-betrayal.
- Just in case my co-worker acts a fool, I still have that tape that could potentially damage his/her career. "They deserve it anyway". Self-betrayal.
- Just in case I'm running low on cash and I know the cashier really made a mistake by giving me too much money back, I quickly walk out the store before anyone realizes it. Self betrayal.
Okay too deep for you...try these on for size...
- I make a mistake, but I lie and blame someone else. Self betrayal.
- I'm having a bad day, so I make everyone else around me suffer. Self betrayal.
- My feelings are hurt, so I gossip about someone else to make myself feel better. Self betrayal.
- Someone drives too slowly on the highway, so I drive up beside them, 'mean-mug' or give them the finger. Self betrayal.
- I know I shouldn't have that extra glass of wine, but "we're all just having fun, one more can't hurt". Self betrayal.
- I know I should pay my tithes, but I really need a new outfit. "God wants me to look good on Sunday". Self betrayal.
- I know I'm trying to lose weight, but I'll just hide a few snacks and indulge when I'm alone. Self betrayal.
We've all participated in some form of self-betrayal and the first thing we must do is acknowledge it. You can't fix or adjust what you refuse to acknowledge. (I'll tweet that later.) The opposite of betrayal is devotion, faithfulness, fidelity, honesty, loyalty, truthfulness and support to name a few. Choose today to be honest and open with yourself. Be truthful. Develop a relationship of fidelity with yourself. Be open to the fact that there might be a better way to accomplish that which you need to accomplish. Don't look for the shortcut, oftentimes it will cause you more pain.
Today I will be true to myself! No more self sabotaging behavior. I deserve to treat myself better.
Now walk it out...
(Praise God that the pain in my throat/chest has subsided, now I'm about to walk over to my purse, get the bottle of Beano and throw it away. No more self-betrayal...it's just too painful.)
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
I'm so uncomfortable...I vow to make ONE change
Have you ever picked out your clothes for work the night before, only to wake up with a different idea and then have to change the outfit because it didn't look the way that you expected. Well that happened to me this morning. How frustrating!
We ate late last night, after yet another baseball and basketball game. I shared a bacon cheeseburger and fries with my son and I was actually pretty full. However due to to the high salt content and lying down on a full stomach, I awakened with sausage fingers and toes. I was swollen. Silly me? I know better right?!
So what I had intended to wear was no longer in my purview. I wrestled with a few ideas, tried on different outfits and grew more and more frustrated. I went to the kitchen, drank some hot lemon water and stepped on the scale. Okay, so how did my scale break from the last time I stepped on it? Doggone scale malfunction! The devil is a liar!
Yes the devil is a liar, but he didn't make me eat that bacon cheeseburger last night, pasta the night before last, cake last weekend, fudge brownies last week or the sips of wine here and there (only for medicinal purposes........NOT.) I quickly realized that my diet is out-of-control! Yes I have been going to the gym, but I've not been making the healthiest choices as far as food is concerned. Jumping in a zumba class, but jumping on every french fry I could get my hand on. Gliding on the elliptical machine, but mindlessly allowing that cinnamon roll to gently glide down the back of my throat. OUT OF CONTROL, I say!
Because I have been exercising, my legs are actually pretty strong..... I could drop kick you in a minute. But my midsection is another story. Muffin tops are meant to be eaten with the rest of the muffin, but this muffin top that is sitting over the top of my jeans is not appetizing. I must make a change!
The challenge is in changing my mindset and then changing my actions. Rather than say that I am going to eat nuts and berries for 10 days and drink only water, I decided to be a little more realistic. (We both know that at that 11th day, I would probably binge and mess up the whole plan anyway.) I will start small and focus on being mindful.
I have decided to change one thing.....
I vow to practice mindfulness and actually taste my food.
You might be saying, Sharri that is pretty lame! But when I think about my eating pattern, I realize that this must be MY first step. If you've read any of my other blogs, you will realize that we are a very active family. Because my boys have seemingly hundreds of sporting events each week and we have responsibilities at church and work, we are always on the run. So I eat on the run and I eat between fixing meals and I eat standing up leaning over the kitchen island, rather than sitting down in a chair and allowing my food to digest properly. I honestly can't tell you the last time that I actually tasted my food after the first bite. Why? Because I'm always in a rush. Yes, the first bite is always so delicious, but the rest of the meal is usually a blur. (I know that you've experienced this before, as well.)
So this morning I made the first step. I made a banana, blueberries, strawberries and orange juice smoothie before leaving for work and it took me 2 hours to sip on it (I can usually scarf it down in 7 minutes flat). I honed in on the little pieces of blueberry skin and the tiny seeds from the outside of the strawberry that don't totally blend. I focussed on the sweetness of the banana that raises the smoothie to another level. I made myself taste all of it. As I was mindful in my tasting of every component, I slowed down and enjoyed the drink. I couldn't scarf it down, because I had to allow each sip to linger on my taste buds for a moment. "This tastes really good! Not only that, but I don't feel bloated and full." There was no back up in the digestive process because I allowed my body to work on it a little at a time. (By the way, I sipped the smoothie as I slowly ate a wholesome grains & cranberries nutrition bar. I could actually taste the cranberries in the bar. Wow!)
I tell this story, not to make you change your diet, but to help you change your mindset. Everything we do begins as a thought and whether we realize it or not, that thought quickly becomes an action and that action soon becomes a pattern. This is about changing your mindset and making a vow to yourself to do something differently.
So for me, I want to change my eating pattern, but it begins with the vow that I made to taste my food, one bite at a time.
One simple vow leads to one tiny change, which leads to a change in mindset, which will determine your actions and develop a new pattern, which ultimately makes you better!
Focus in on that ONE pattern or habit that you need to break and start by making just ONE vow!
Now walk it out.............
(Yes, I vow to walk to that store and get my money back for that malfunctioned scale! Okay, so maybe that's a little too extreme. Maybe I'll just try it again in a week or so and see what it reads then. Hopefully one vow, new thoughts, new actions and a new pattern will give me a new result the next time I step on the scale.)
We ate late last night, after yet another baseball and basketball game. I shared a bacon cheeseburger and fries with my son and I was actually pretty full. However due to to the high salt content and lying down on a full stomach, I awakened with sausage fingers and toes. I was swollen. Silly me? I know better right?!
So what I had intended to wear was no longer in my purview. I wrestled with a few ideas, tried on different outfits and grew more and more frustrated. I went to the kitchen, drank some hot lemon water and stepped on the scale. Okay, so how did my scale break from the last time I stepped on it? Doggone scale malfunction! The devil is a liar!
Yes the devil is a liar, but he didn't make me eat that bacon cheeseburger last night, pasta the night before last, cake last weekend, fudge brownies last week or the sips of wine here and there (only for medicinal purposes........NOT.) I quickly realized that my diet is out-of-control! Yes I have been going to the gym, but I've not been making the healthiest choices as far as food is concerned. Jumping in a zumba class, but jumping on every french fry I could get my hand on. Gliding on the elliptical machine, but mindlessly allowing that cinnamon roll to gently glide down the back of my throat. OUT OF CONTROL, I say!
Because I have been exercising, my legs are actually pretty strong..... I could drop kick you in a minute. But my midsection is another story. Muffin tops are meant to be eaten with the rest of the muffin, but this muffin top that is sitting over the top of my jeans is not appetizing. I must make a change!
The challenge is in changing my mindset and then changing my actions. Rather than say that I am going to eat nuts and berries for 10 days and drink only water, I decided to be a little more realistic. (We both know that at that 11th day, I would probably binge and mess up the whole plan anyway.) I will start small and focus on being mindful.
I have decided to change one thing.....
I vow to practice mindfulness and actually taste my food.
You might be saying, Sharri that is pretty lame! But when I think about my eating pattern, I realize that this must be MY first step. If you've read any of my other blogs, you will realize that we are a very active family. Because my boys have seemingly hundreds of sporting events each week and we have responsibilities at church and work, we are always on the run. So I eat on the run and I eat between fixing meals and I eat standing up leaning over the kitchen island, rather than sitting down in a chair and allowing my food to digest properly. I honestly can't tell you the last time that I actually tasted my food after the first bite. Why? Because I'm always in a rush. Yes, the first bite is always so delicious, but the rest of the meal is usually a blur. (I know that you've experienced this before, as well.)
So this morning I made the first step. I made a banana, blueberries, strawberries and orange juice smoothie before leaving for work and it took me 2 hours to sip on it (I can usually scarf it down in 7 minutes flat). I honed in on the little pieces of blueberry skin and the tiny seeds from the outside of the strawberry that don't totally blend. I focussed on the sweetness of the banana that raises the smoothie to another level. I made myself taste all of it. As I was mindful in my tasting of every component, I slowed down and enjoyed the drink. I couldn't scarf it down, because I had to allow each sip to linger on my taste buds for a moment. "This tastes really good! Not only that, but I don't feel bloated and full." There was no back up in the digestive process because I allowed my body to work on it a little at a time. (By the way, I sipped the smoothie as I slowly ate a wholesome grains & cranberries nutrition bar. I could actually taste the cranberries in the bar. Wow!)
I tell this story, not to make you change your diet, but to help you change your mindset. Everything we do begins as a thought and whether we realize it or not, that thought quickly becomes an action and that action soon becomes a pattern. This is about changing your mindset and making a vow to yourself to do something differently.
So for me, I want to change my eating pattern, but it begins with the vow that I made to taste my food, one bite at a time.
- You might need to change your pattern of complaining about your job, make a vow to wake up every morning in gratitude for your job.
- You might need to change your pattern of gossiping, make a vow to delete the contacts of negative people from your phone.
- You might need to change your pattern of eating, make a vow to try one new vegetable or fruit each week.
- You might need to change your pattern of living a sedentary lifestyle (you don't have to go to the gym), make a vow to get up and walk in place during each TV commercial.
- You might need to change your pattern of belittling your children, make a vow to quote Psalm 127:3 each morning, "Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him".
- You might need to change your pattern of criticizing your spouse, make a vow to say one nice thing to him/her each day.
One simple vow leads to one tiny change, which leads to a change in mindset, which will determine your actions and develop a new pattern, which ultimately makes you better!
Focus in on that ONE pattern or habit that you need to break and start by making just ONE vow!
Now walk it out.............
(Yes, I vow to walk to that store and get my money back for that malfunctioned scale! Okay, so maybe that's a little too extreme. Maybe I'll just try it again in a week or so and see what it reads then. Hopefully one vow, new thoughts, new actions and a new pattern will give me a new result the next time I step on the scale.)
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Sibling rivalry is REAL and so is the LOVE
Having 14- year old and 10- year old sons, you can only imagine the raging hormones in the house. There is constant competition, constant fighting, constant bickering, constant "out-doing" one another, constant "Mom I don't know why he was born". Then in the next moment they are outside playing ball together, video games together, laughing together, watching television together and working together to gang up on me and their dad. I think it's totally hilarious!
Well in the last few days, I have seen these too dudes show love to one another and it has completely warmed my heart.
On Saturday, Courtland was invited to a birthday party at a water park. When he left around 1pm, Chandler was so excited to have the house to himself. He lounged around, didn't have to share his stuff and was relieved that he wouldn't have to talk to anyone for a couple of hours. Actually the 3 of us, went out for a little while and attended a nice event in the park. My husband and I had 2 more events to go to, so we dropped Chandler back at the house. (It's so nice when they are old enough to be left at the house for a couple of hours.) We returned home a few hours later and I noticed that Chandler was beginning to ask about his younger brother. Hmmm?!
We ate dinner, lounged around and rested a while before my hubby had to get back up and continue working on his sermon. While I'm in the kitchen, getting a snack, Chandler rolls up on me and says, "When is Courtland coming home? He's been gone a long time. Can you have that much fun at a water park?" To which I replied, "who would make a boring a water park, of course, he's having fun".
I got so tickled because what he couldn't say was that he actually missed his little brother. That although the house was quiet, it was too quiet for him because his little (annoying) brother wasn't around. Well his brother arrived shortly after 8 pm. Guess who was standing behind me at the door when he pulled up? (Don't worry Babe, I won't expose you and make you turn in your player card...I'll just blog about it.) In a matter of moments, the house was once again filled with laughter and chatter.
They can't stand each other at times, but they don't want to be separated for too long either. Hilarious!
Well last night, I saw the tables turn once again.
Chandler had a full day yesterday. He had football team power camp at 6:30 am. Went to the gym with his father around 1:30pm to play several basketball games with the medical students, went to VBS and had 2 basketball games last night (the first one began at 8:45pm). A full day!
Everyone who knows Chandler can appreciate that he's a hard worker on the field or the court. He sweats like crazy and leaves his all on the court. During the 2nd game, I saw him go down after a shot. When he didn't pop back up, his coach went to him and "Dr. Mom" left the stands to get to the court, as well. He was having a Lebron moment. Really?! My baby's calf was cramping like crazy. I have never seen a muscle knot up quite like that. His coach had his foot and was stretching his leg out, while I massaged his calf and applied ice.
Enter the little brother...
Courtland was my gatorade guy and our water bottle boy. After the game, we dropped them off at home so we could make a quick run to the store and pick up bananas for a smoothie. My phone rang, a call from Chandler's phone, but when I answered it...it was Courtland's voice. He was asking questions about his brother. "Mom, should he take a warm shower or a cold shower? Mom, I gave him some more ice." (Look at the little caregiver!)
After arriving back home and making an Elvis smoothie (bananas, peanut butter, chocolate protein powder, milk and ice) for him, we said goodnight to the boys and my hubby and I cleaned up the kitchen. Thirty minutes later, as I made my way to the bedroom, I noticed that Courtland was not in his room. As I walked towards Chandler's room, I was about to go into mean-mommy-mode and start fussing about getting in the bed. (I just knew they were up playing video games.)
When I got to his room, I saw the most beautiful thing! Chandler was sprawled out on his bed as usual and lying right beside him, wrapped in a white comforter was his little angel. Courtland had gotten in the bed with his brother and there they were lying head-to-toe. No fighting, no bickering, no competition....just snoring. Man-down and brother came to the rescue!
So when your children are fighting and act as if they can't stand each other, know that they really do have each other's back when life gets tough. They showed me in these 2 instances that they truly are, "my brother's keeper".
Now walk it out....
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