Day #2 - Laugh from your Belly - 40 Days: Focus on My Family

When was the last time that you heard yourself laugh? I mean really laugh.  Laughing so hard that you could hear your own voice ringing in your ears.  Well yesterday was just that kind of day for me.  However, I must give you the backdrop of the story.  To just rush in and tell you the story would be a disservice.

Earlier this week, my husband and sons arrived home to find water running out of the garage and flowing down our driveway, which was already covered in snow from the latest snowstorm.  We immediately turned off the water for the night. A pipe had burst behind the hot water tank in the garage.  First night in the home without running water. Nothing could be done until the next morning, so we’d have to stick it out for the night. For people who say bottled water is wasteful, I say you’ve never been without running water.  We drank bottled water when we were thirsty and boiled the bottled water to wash up for the evening and the next morning.  Well we survived but my husband’s mind was fixated on staying the next night at the hotel, if the problem persisted.  While we were at school and work, the broken pipe was being replaced.  However later that evening, we were informed that there was another leak somewhere in the wall behind the shower. What?  Are you kidding me?  Mr. Coleman made the executive decision that we were moving into a hotel. That’s just the beginning of the story though.

We checked into the hotel, allowing the boys to get settled in, while we ran back to the house to pack for the night and to get clothes to wash, because the boys had no clean uniforms for the week.  No, I’m not laughing yet!

When we returned to the standard hotel room, equipped with 2 queen beds and a pullout sofa, I began to get the boys ready for bed.  First one in the shower, please step up!  I began to unpack and get things situated when I noticed something black on the floor, at the base of the window curtains.  I pulled back the curtains and kicked the object, which I initially thought was a sock that the boys had thrown there.  Boy am I glad that I kicked the object and not picked it up with my hands.  I’m not laughing yet, but you might holler when I tell you what it was…it was a pair of dirty underwear. 

What in the world?!!!

Underwear on the floor, yet we were all still fully dressed.  I immediately called down to the front desk personnel, who was so apologetic and decided to move us immediately.  We moved just 4 doors down to a 2-bedroom, 2-bathroom suite.  Okay, so I might be chuckling a little by now because God really has jokes. I almost forgot to mention that the new room would be complimentary for our inconvenience.  THANKYA!  Okay, so things aren’t looking that badly right about now.

Now to the story…

The next morning, we enjoyed breakfast provided by the hotel and got the boys off to school.  My husband and I went back to the hotel and waited until the afternoon, when we’d meet the plumber back at the house.  In the meantime, we went to the exercise room and then decided to go swimming.  Now this is where my laughter began.  This pool was totally kid friendly.  On one end of the pool it was only 1 foot deep, where a toddler could play with the hoses and water spouts.  It had a rainfall apparatus shaped like a mushroom, where the water ran off the top of the tall mushroom, back into the pool.  On the deepest end, which was 4 feet tall, was a basketball hoop.  So here is my husband, in the wading pool, lying under the mushroom so the water could pound on his back, looking like a whale that had been washed up on the shore. And I was by the basketball hoop, doing slam-dunks, as if I were a star player for the WNBA.  We were two big kids, laughing and playing like we were 5 and 6 year olds. What a time!  I could hear my laughter echoing in the room and it was music to my ears.

But the music didn’t stop there…

I picked the boys up from school, while my husband went to prepare for Bible study.  The boys ate pizza in the lobby of the hotel as they completed their homework.  Not a care in the world, because we had promised that they could go swimming once their work was completed.

Within 2 hours, the three of us were in the pool.  After only a short amount of time, I heard it again.  As I watched my darling sons enjoying each other’s company, without a care in the world, on a school night, I began to hear the bellowing sounds of laughter.  My boys were laughing at me and I was laughing hysterically as I missed one basketball shot after another.  We laughed TOGETHER and it felt so good.

It felt good to let down my inhibitions and just have fun.

It felt good to not be the stern mommy who would make them go to the room and get ready for bed.

It felt good to just let them have pizza, while they worked. (No veggies in sight.)

It felt good to see them forget how much they can annoy each other and just have fun playing together.

It felt good to sit down in the lobby and eat the food that my husband brought after Bible study…. Mind you, it’s now after 9 pm on a school night.

It felt good to hear the boys say, “thanks Mom and Dad, this was fun”.

Sometimes your greatest laughter comes when you let down your guard and allow yourself to be a child again.  But even greater than that is the gift that you can give your children to hear you laugh like them.  What a blessing it is for them to realize that parents are human, funny, silly and trustworthy all wrapped up in one.

What did I give my children today?

I gave them the lesson that even when things don’t go exactly as planned that God can still use that situation to make you smile.

I showed them how to trust God and (when I didn’t lose my cool about the underwear in the room) He gave us an even better room...for FREE.

I gave them the joy of experiencing laughing with and at their Mommy.

If you have a child, niece, nephew, family friend or neighbor…. take them out to play, let yourself go and just LAUGH until you hear the sounds of laughter ringing in your own ears.

Now walk it out…

40 days: Focus on my Family - Day #1

Today marks the beginning of the Lenten season.  Forty days, which lead up to Resurrection Sunday, or Easter, as most of us call it.  It’s a time when Christians remember the sacrifice that Jesus made before he went to the cross.  It is usually remembered by giving something up as a sign that you want to identify with the suffering of Christ.  So if I really love strawberry cake, I might give up sweets during the Lenten season, as a sign that I want God more than I want food.  Whatever it is, we do it, but sometimes it’s just a way to check off a box to say that I did “something” during this season.

This past weekend, I began pondering what I might give up.  I immediately went to the legalistic view of what I shouldn’t have and what I needed to give up.  No starches, dairy, white flour, wine, etc.… but then I realized that I was considering it because I was thinking about checking the box and changing my diet.  In my mind, if I cut all those things out…by Easter Sunday, I would be svelte and sexy.  Really Sharri?   Are you really about to make this time of consecration about you looking good?  (Uh hello…yes) Don’t judge me, I’m being transparent!

It’s funny though because the time that I was thinking about giving something up, I also was thinking about my family and taking time out for them.  I told my husband that I wanted to turn the TV off during dinner and perhaps play a game of Uno, with our boys while eating.  I don’t know, does that sound crazy to you?  Maybe a little!  But there is this nagging in my spirit to stop and appreciate my family.  Stop rushing through family meals, in order to finish watching the latest TV show. Stop fussing when the evening doesn’t go the way that I thought it would go. 

Have you ever yelled at your kids, not because they had done anything wrong, but because you were exhausted and your fuse was just a little too short.  Have you ever ignored your spouse because he didn’t have time to help you clean up, so you don’t have time to cuddle?  Have you ever looked at caller ID and said I’m not talking to that family member today, because I don’t need any more drama?  If you said yes to any of these things, guess what…you are human. Each of us has experienced a time or two when we just didn’t feel like being bothered.  The time has come that we learn to put all of this into perspective and find our center, when it comes to our families.

Join me during this 40 - day journey as I endeavor to be mindful and fully aware of what I speak and how I act towards my family.  Rather than give something up, I’d like to honor God by giving something TO my family. 

• ·      Give them my undivided attention. 
• ·      Give them my unconditional love.
• ·      Give them a listening ear.
• ·      Give them time to read together.
• ·      Give them the experience of playing a game with me.
• ·      Give them an opportunity to express their ideas and not talk over them. 

All of these things not only pertain to my children, but to my husband, as well.  Many marriages fail because the couples forget how to be attentive to each other’s needs.  Its time to make that shift and refocus our thoughts, mind and emotions to honoring the people whom we say we love.

If you’d like to enhance family relationships and honor God, please meet me here each day to reflect on where you can make some changes, resist the temptation of returning to our old ways, refocus our energy on caring for our loved ones and rejoice at our own rebirth during this process.

Now walk it out…

Dancing on the Windowsill

This morning, I was sitting on my parents couch as the sun was beginning to rise. I had awakened early, as I normally do when I’m at home.  I couldn’t go back to sleep so I decided to catch up on some magazine reading, which I rarely ever have time to do in one sitting.  As I was reading, the room slowly grew a little brighter.  The sun’s beautiful rays were beginning to creep into the apartment living room, illuminating my space and making it a little easier for me to see the words on the page.

I was losing myself in the magazine and enjoying myself as I quickly went from one article to the next. I no longer realized the intensity of the sun’s rays, because I guess I had grown accustomed to them and just expected them to be present.  What was initially wonderment at the sun’s rays, had turned to indifference, because I now took them for granted.  I expected the sun to shine, because that what it’s supposed to do.  Article after article, losing myself in each story, enjoying just being in my own space; I was happy to be sitting here.  But as the sun’s rays peaked and intensified through the window, I began to notice a small clamoring sound. 

I turned toward the sound, which seemed to be coming from the heating unit under the window.  I immediately thought I was going to have to let Daddy know that something was wrong with his heater, signaled by this loud, rhythmic clicking.  Upon further inspection, I noticed a little hula dancer was generating the clicking sound, standing atop the windowsill.

The hula dancer, who was dressed in a yellow pleated skirt with matching tube top, lei and flower in her hair, stood no more than 2 inches tall on a white base.  On the base, in front of her feet, was a silver plate. I couldn’t help but smile, because it was funny to watch the hula dancers’ hips move to the clicking sound.  She was somehow creating her own music.  I picked up the little lady and placed her on the table in front of me, the clicking stopped but there was still a slight movement in her hips.  I picked her back up returned her to her rightful place, back on the windowsill, and the clamoring sound began again with a rekindled intensity in the hip movement.  I smiled from ear to ear as I received the revelation.

That benign metal plate on the base, in front of the dancers’ feet, was actually a solar panel.  The panel was collecting the rays from the sun and was converting it into electricity.  The joy of solar energy is that it’s collected from a natural source and is replenished naturally. While I was enjoying my morning reading and the sun was shining into that apartment living room, the panel was storing energy and converting it.

Ms. Thang, dressed in her cute, little yellow outfit, had been placed in a prominent place on the windowsill where she would have the benefit of capturing the sun’s rays. She moved and clicked because she had been poured into.  She moved and clicked, because she was in the right location.  She moved and clicked because someone knew her purpose and gave her the proper space to allow her potential to grow.  She moved and clicked because that was what she was designed to do.  Even when I moved her to the coffee table, behind a tissue box, (sorry but I had to test my theory), I noticed that the clamoring sound immediately ceased but her hips swayed intermittently. It wasn’t a consistent movement, but rather a slight ‘shimmy’ that would pause every few seconds.  So why the shimmy, you ask?

She had been moved out of her prominent position, on the windowsill, but there was still something inside of her that reminded her of what she was made to do.

The light wasn’t as bright as it used to be, but there was a stored energy inside the solar panel that gave her a glimpse of her true worth.

Moved, but not forgotten.  Displaced, but not destroyed.

I’ve got to try this one more time……… I moved her back to the windowsill and almost immediately the clicking sound began.  WOW!

What does this mean?  What is the point of telling this story?

It simply reminds me of how you have listened, been poured into, taught, trained and expected to perform in a certain area, but you have somehow lost your position.  You know what it is that God has spoken to you and has predestined for you, but you have conveniently hid yourself from the direct rays.

You have listened to the naysayers…so you have hidden yourself behind the tissue box, on the coffee table, away from the light source.

You have begun doubting your own dreams…so you have hidden yourself behind the tissue box, on the coffee table, away from the light source.

You have reached a certain point in your life and because you feel that you SHOULD have arrived by now, you downplay what you have done…so you have hidden yourself behind the tissue box, on the coffee table, away from the light source.

You think of how much it’s going to cost and then you look at your bank account and you talk yourself out of it… you have hidden yourself behind the tissue box, on the coffee table, away from the light source.

Hey, hey, hey…there is still hope!

You are really not that far from the windowsill.  In fact, it only took me 2-3 steps to walk from the coffee table back to the window.

2-3 steps to realize that the solar power works best when it’s directly connected to the Son (oops, I meant to say the sun).

2-3 steps to see you regain your joy.

2-3 steps for you to believe again.

2-3 steps for you to dream BIG dreams again.

2-3 steps for you to realize that God placed the solar panel there, when you were created.  He meant for you to be in this position of prominence.

Maybe the circumstances of life have caused you to doubt your own strength and now you feel stuck.  Get over yourself please!  The Bible says in Psalm 30:5, “weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning”.

It’s morning time, my friend.  Get up and stand close to the windowsill.

It’s morning time…allow God to pour directly into you. 

It’s morning time…your days of hiding are over.

It’s morning time…it’s time to reclaim your rightful position.

It’s morning time…bask in the beauty of God and realize how quickly you’ll start to shimmy.

It’s morning time…don’t be afraid to perform the task that you were intended to perform and listen for that clicking sound.

Get up my friend, hiding and mourning time is over because your brand new morning is here.  Regain your place on the windowsill; create your own music and shimmy, click and shake.  Not because you are being forced to, but rather because that’s what you were designed to do.

It’s your morning season, NOW WALK IT OUT…(and don’t forget to add a little shimmy!)

I must add this little caveat… this morning is exactly one-day after we remembered & celebrated the one-year anniversary of Mommy’s transition and promotion.  I believe that she allowed me to see the beauty of a brand new day, with this hula dancer.  If she could share a few words with us, I believe she would say” Baby-girl, your mourning is over and your new morning is here.  Regain your rightful position on that windowsill of life.  I prayed for you and over you all of those years, so that you would recognize the beauty that lies deep within you.  It’s your time to shimmy, click and move and if you can…. do it in some really cute high-heeled shoes”. - Thanks Mommy!

Live. Love. Learn Women's Empowerment Luncheon

I'd like to share the transcript of my speech that I was able to share with a room full of beautiful sisters, sponsored by HomeCourt Support, Spouses and Family Members of Oklahoma City Thunder Players, Coaches and Basketball Operations Staff.  We enjoyed a delicious lunch at KD' s Southern Cuisine restaurant.  I was honored to share the podium with Ms. Lucille O'Neal, author of "Walk Like You Have Somewhere to Go" and mother of former NBA star, Dr. Shaquille O'Neal.

What a beautiful day!  I pray that although you may not have been there, that you will still gain something from the speech.

Live. Love. Learn.  Hmm?
Three simple words… so short & easy to write.
Live. Love. Learn. 
Three simple words…  precise, yet profound.
……………………………..… concise, yet charming.
Live. Love. Learn. 
Three simple words…. Succinct, yet significant.
…………………………………..little, yet lively.

Live. Love. Learn. 
What does is it mean to live?  Does it simply mean that you can inhale and exhale? Is live merely the opposite of die?  I dare say that as we breathe in and out, allowing the oxygen to travel through the alveoli of our lungs, going throughout all the tissues of our body, allowing it to nourish our muscles and every cell, picking up all the wastes and being expelled as carbon dioxide….many of us  are still dead.
Ø Dead to the dreams that were once placed inside of us.
Ø Dead to the feeling that although I may have failed, I can actually try it again another way.
Ø Dead to the fact that in spite of all the things that I’ve been through that God can still bless my mess.
Ø  Just DEAD! 
Ø Breathing but dead, laughing but dead, crying but dead, in a relationship but dead, having good sex but dead; taking care of our children but dead. 
Dead to the possibility that there is another way.

But thanks be to God My sisters, I caught you just in time….I came to revive you and speak life into your situation today.
 I want you to LIVE.
§  Live with the expectation that life can & will get better.
§  Live with the understanding that your setback is simply a setup for you to be blessed.
§  Live with the recognition that failure is nothing but feedback from the universe for you to re-evaluate your experience, and use the information gained to readjust and try it another way.
§  Live with the knowledge that if you can conquer the inner obstacles or negative voices inside your head, no external obstacle can kill your spirit.
Ladies I want you to inhale…
ü Inhale peace and allow it to run to your pancreas, which produces the insulin that comes to the rescue during digestion and helps to lower the blood sugar levels, which protects your cells.
ü Inhale joy and allow it to run to your jejunum (which is part of the small intestine… because I want you to feel joy in the pit of your belly)
ü Inhale understanding and let it tickle the uvula at the back of your throat. So every thing that enters your mouth has to be sprinkled with a little understanding and you don’t take things so personally.
ü Inhale expectation and watch it stir up the endocrine glands,which will secrete the right amount of hormones into your bloodstream, keeping you even- keeled.
ü Inhale forgiveness and let it reach your feet, so as you are walking along your journey you are less likely to lash out at others, but you stand ready to forgive.

Come on ladies…. breathe it in…. breathe it in…. YES, you’re beginning to LIVE.

Now that you’ve begun to LIVE, you have to move onward to LOVE. There are different forms and styles of expressing love. To describe these styles, the Ancient Greeks came up with four terms:
1. Agapeà : This is an unconditional love that sees beyond the outer surface and accepts the recipient for whom he/she is, regardless of their flaws, shortcomings or faults. It’s the type of love that everyone strives to have for their fellow human beings.
2. Phileoà The phileo love refers to an affectionate, warm and tender platonic love. It makes you desire friendship with someone.
3. Storgeà This is the love that parents naturally feel for their children; the love that members of the family have for each other.
4. ErosàEros is a passionate and intense love that arouses romantic feelings. It’s an emotional and sexual love.

But I think we are missing one and it’s probably the most important one.
               This type of love enables you to live with purpose.

               This type of love helps you make sound decisions that can enhance your life.
               This type of love will allow you to get up and walk for just 20 minutes a day, because you know exercise strengthens  your body.

                This type of love gives you the courage to say no when the action would compromise your belief system.
                This type of love will make you go sit in a quiet room for 15 minutes, just to clear your mind, so you can re-emerge rejuvenated.
               This type of love says, “Put on your oxygen mask first and then assist the person sitting next to you”.

This type of love is the greatest love of all…..what is it Ladies?...SELF-LOVE.

o  It cannot be bought in a beauty store, does not come with a makeover, or with a new set of clothes.
o  Self-love does not come from the latest book or inspirational reading. 
o  Self- love does not come by watching Oprah (Super soul Sunday) or Iyanla (Fix my Life).
o  Self-love is learning how to decipher that still, small voice inside, when God whispers into your spirit and tells you how special you are, that He would guide you and what purpose your life is to fulfill.

Today my Sisters, I want you to turn to the correct frequency of your Soul.
(take your hand, place it on your chest and  act as if you are turning the radio dial, trying to find the right station)

v     If you get the message that you are worthless, turn the dial and change the frequency… Zora Neale Hurston said, “Sometimes, I feel discriminated against, but it does not make me angry. It merely astonishes me. How can any deny themselves the pleasure of my company? It’s beyond me.” (You matter my Sister.)
v     If you get the message that you are insignificant and no one will accept me, turn the dial and change the frequency….I think I hear the words of Malcolm X, “We cannot think of being acceptable to others until we have first proven acceptable to ourselves.”
v     If you get the message that you are incapable of performing a task, turn the dial and change the frequency…. Listen to the words of Jeremiah talking about his conversation with God…God said “Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew all about you.
Before you saw the light of day,
 I had holy plans for you:
A prophet to the nations— that’s what I had in mind for you. ”I’ll tell you where to go and you’ll go there.
I’ll tell you what to say and you’ll say it.
 Don’t be afraid of a soul.
I’ll be right there, looking after you… I’ve given you a job to do 
among nations and governments…Your job is to pull up and tear down,
take apart and demolish. 
And then start over,
building and planting.”

My sister you can start over TODAY! TODAY! TODAY! TODAY!

So ladies now that we know how to Live and we know how to Love ourselves, now we must Learn.  
Learn what, you ask?
I want to leave you with a few quotes that I believe will help us all as we are on our journey.

Mahatma Gandhi said
Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

Live with purpose and intention, living your life as if this were your last chance. Then love yourself enough to keep learning.  In everything that we do, we must make it our life’s mission to keep growing and developing and maybe even reinventing ourselves.  If you don’t like something about yourself…it’s Okay…. go ahead and change the frequency.

Benjamin Franklin
Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.
Take someone on the journey with you.  Maybe it’s time for you to be a mentor.. As you are growing, invite a sister- friend along with you in the process.  You’ll be amazed how much you can glean from one another.  Involve someone else who will support you along the journey.

Last but not least.  In fact, I think this has become my favorite quote.

Friedrich Nietzsche said
He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying.

Simply stated nothing happens overnight…we all have to start at some point.  We might be at different stages of the process, but we’re all just trying to fly. 

 If you’ve ever flown in an airplane, you’ll realize that every passenger must go through some of the same things initially.  
Ø We all have to go to the TSI agents and show our ID and boarding pass.
Ø Whether you take your luggage on the plane or choose to have them stowed underneath, we all have to place whatever items we have in our possession on the conveyer belt to be scanned and then walk through the body scanners ourselves.
Ø But once we get past that point, everything changes; people begin scurrying in different directions because now they have to find the correct departure gate.

·    Maybe your gate is a little farther to walk than your sisters, but guess what...you’re still in the airport. 
·    Maybe you arrived early and you have to sit in the waiting area until the flight is ready…it doesn’t matter……… you’ll get on the plane, at your appointed time.
·    Maybe you are running late and barely made it to the gate…you’re out of breath, you hit a couple of people in the head with your bag as you are trying to take your seat, but it really doesn’t matter how you got there.........because you made it and you’re now seated on the plane.
Each of us has our own destination that God has planned for us, but just realize that your flight might take a little longer than someone else’s.  But no matter how long it takes; we will eventually land at our final destination.

So hear me ladies, be willing to learn from your sisters journey.  Don’t be the one who didn’t pack a travel bag the night before, overslept the morning of, arrived to the airport late, without an ID and boarding pass and now has an attitude with everyone, as if everyone else  is wrong. Don’t get left behind due to lack of preparation!

Ladies,
Live. Love. Learn
3 simple words…but they’re jam-packed with PURPOSE, POTENTIAL, PROMISE and POWER.

1. Live as if today were your last.
2. Love yourself first.
3. Learn the joys of standing, walking, dancing and running, because if you can appreciate each of those stages eventually you will fly.

Follow me on twitter: @soul2soledoctor

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