Love is not spelled L-O-V-E....

    18 years ago today, I remember Byron and I standing before both of our pastors as they officiated our wedding ceremony.  I will never forget that my Pastor said that Love is not spelled L-O-V-E, but rather it's spelled W-O-R-K!  Apparently it stuck with Byron as well, because he uses it today in most of the wedding ceremonies which he performs.

     Today has been a GREAT day.  From Byron professing his love for me from the pulpit before the entire congregation, to us leaving the boys and sneaking away for evening appetizers, wine and dessert.  Just me and my Boo!  Talking about everything and nothing at all. Holding hands as we walked from the restaurant to the car and back.  Gently touching the small of my back as he corralled me through the restaurant to our seat. Holding my hips as I leaned in to kiss him.  Nothing special, no elaborate gifts...just the two of us living and loving in the moment.

     It's funny though when I think about it...every day of our 18 year marriage has not always been like today.  There were days that I wanted to be so far away from him, but I knew if I ran to my mother, she'd only send me right back.  There were days that both he and I were tired of the shenanigans and just wanted OUT.  There were days that we cried ourselves to sleep (he might say that he didn't cry) wondering, "was this what marriage was supposed to be about?".  There were days filled with issues and struggles and heartache, BUT through it all we made it to see this day.  It took W-O-R-K during those difficult times when we didn't necessarily see, nor feel the L-O-V-E.

     I'd like to encourage you today, if you've ever been in love, are in love right now or hope to one day find your Love, to be realistic while remaining hopeful. Let's talk about marriage and  L-O-V-E...

LOVE is more than a long stroll along the beach or boardwalk; sometimes it's a narrow street filled with potholes.
LOVE is more than clear blue skies; sometimes it's a grey sky filled with dark clouds and lots of tornadic activity.
LOVE is more than a medium rare steak, grilled asparagus with garlic mashed potatoes; sometimes it's a can of Spam and stale crackers.
LOVE is more than raising 2.5 children who are smart, athletic and outgoing; sometimes it's raising a child with special needs.
LOVE is more than driving a Range Rover or fancy car, sometimes it's a 'hooptie' that can only be entered through the passenger door.
LOVE is more than sitting on the front row, dressed in the finest clothes, looking "church pretty"; sometimes it's wearing overhauls, working under the hood of a car with dirt and grease under your fingernails.
LOVE is more than a passion-filled night of intimacy and pleasure, sometimes it's sitting by the  hospital bed praying for God to allow the treatment to work this time.

     Love is W-O-R-K!  Love has to be honest and realistic.  Love has to be understanding and forgiving.  Love is ever evolving and transforming itself as you grow as a couple and an individual.  Love does not rush to judgment too quickly.  Love is seeking professional help and counseling, so you can be a better spouse.  Stop saying "I know the Lord is going to work it out".  Yes, He can work it out, but you must participate in your own liberation.  When you got married, you didn't ask Jesus to meet the caterer, pick out the cake, go to the dress fitting and order invitations..........#jesusbeaweddingplanner.  So why on earth should we sit around today waiting on Jesus to "fix it" when He has given us the ability to seek counseling, see a financial planner, go to the gym to lose that extra weight or be a little more adventurous in the bedroom?  WHY people????

YES...God designed marriage, but it's up to us to work the marriage!

Again, I am so grateful to God for allowing me to know Byron for 24 years and to spend 18 years of marriage with him. In order for us to spend the next 18 plus years together, we must continue to do the work and W-O-R-K it in L-O-V-E!

So I encourage you to love real hard and do it on purpose!  I can almost promise that if you are honest with yourself, do the work, while seeking God's direction, your marriage can be revived, restored and the flame rekindled.

I close by telling the LOVE of my life, 'Happy Anniversary Sweetheart'.  I'm reminded of a Kurt Carr song that says,

"For every mountain, He brought me over 

For every trial, He's seen me through

For every blessing, Hallelujah

For this I give you praise."

And yes I'm praising God that He blessed me with a wonderful man who is a doting husband, loving father, dynamic leader, great listener and loyal friend.  We made it this far by faith and I am willing to work the work, so that our love continues to grow.

Whether you are married and in love, want to fall in love, thinking about loving somebody, preparing yourself for love....you must first be willing to Love yourself first and be ready to do the WORK when you have the opportunity to share your LOVE with someone else.

Now walk it out...

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