Love is not spelled L-O-V-E....

    18 years ago today, I remember Byron and I standing before both of our pastors as they officiated our wedding ceremony.  I will never forget that my Pastor said that Love is not spelled L-O-V-E, but rather it's spelled W-O-R-K!  Apparently it stuck with Byron as well, because he uses it today in most of the wedding ceremonies which he performs.

     Today has been a GREAT day.  From Byron professing his love for me from the pulpit before the entire congregation, to us leaving the boys and sneaking away for evening appetizers, wine and dessert.  Just me and my Boo!  Talking about everything and nothing at all. Holding hands as we walked from the restaurant to the car and back.  Gently touching the small of my back as he corralled me through the restaurant to our seat. Holding my hips as I leaned in to kiss him.  Nothing special, no elaborate gifts...just the two of us living and loving in the moment.

     It's funny though when I think about it...every day of our 18 year marriage has not always been like today.  There were days that I wanted to be so far away from him, but I knew if I ran to my mother, she'd only send me right back.  There were days that both he and I were tired of the shenanigans and just wanted OUT.  There were days that we cried ourselves to sleep (he might say that he didn't cry) wondering, "was this what marriage was supposed to be about?".  There were days filled with issues and struggles and heartache, BUT through it all we made it to see this day.  It took W-O-R-K during those difficult times when we didn't necessarily see, nor feel the L-O-V-E.

     I'd like to encourage you today, if you've ever been in love, are in love right now or hope to one day find your Love, to be realistic while remaining hopeful. Let's talk about marriage and  L-O-V-E...

LOVE is more than a long stroll along the beach or boardwalk; sometimes it's a narrow street filled with potholes.
LOVE is more than clear blue skies; sometimes it's a grey sky filled with dark clouds and lots of tornadic activity.
LOVE is more than a medium rare steak, grilled asparagus with garlic mashed potatoes; sometimes it's a can of Spam and stale crackers.
LOVE is more than raising 2.5 children who are smart, athletic and outgoing; sometimes it's raising a child with special needs.
LOVE is more than driving a Range Rover or fancy car, sometimes it's a 'hooptie' that can only be entered through the passenger door.
LOVE is more than sitting on the front row, dressed in the finest clothes, looking "church pretty"; sometimes it's wearing overhauls, working under the hood of a car with dirt and grease under your fingernails.
LOVE is more than a passion-filled night of intimacy and pleasure, sometimes it's sitting by the  hospital bed praying for God to allow the treatment to work this time.

     Love is W-O-R-K!  Love has to be honest and realistic.  Love has to be understanding and forgiving.  Love is ever evolving and transforming itself as you grow as a couple and an individual.  Love does not rush to judgment too quickly.  Love is seeking professional help and counseling, so you can be a better spouse.  Stop saying "I know the Lord is going to work it out".  Yes, He can work it out, but you must participate in your own liberation.  When you got married, you didn't ask Jesus to meet the caterer, pick out the cake, go to the dress fitting and order invitations..........#jesusbeaweddingplanner.  So why on earth should we sit around today waiting on Jesus to "fix it" when He has given us the ability to seek counseling, see a financial planner, go to the gym to lose that extra weight or be a little more adventurous in the bedroom?  WHY people????

YES...God designed marriage, but it's up to us to work the marriage!

Again, I am so grateful to God for allowing me to know Byron for 24 years and to spend 18 years of marriage with him. In order for us to spend the next 18 plus years together, we must continue to do the work and W-O-R-K it in L-O-V-E!

So I encourage you to love real hard and do it on purpose!  I can almost promise that if you are honest with yourself, do the work, while seeking God's direction, your marriage can be revived, restored and the flame rekindled.

I close by telling the LOVE of my life, 'Happy Anniversary Sweetheart'.  I'm reminded of a Kurt Carr song that says,

"For every mountain, He brought me over 

For every trial, He's seen me through

For every blessing, Hallelujah

For this I give you praise."

And yes I'm praising God that He blessed me with a wonderful man who is a doting husband, loving father, dynamic leader, great listener and loyal friend.  We made it this far by faith and I am willing to work the work, so that our love continues to grow.

Whether you are married and in love, want to fall in love, thinking about loving somebody, preparing yourself for love....you must first be willing to Love yourself first and be ready to do the WORK when you have the opportunity to share your LOVE with someone else.

Now walk it out...

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SURRENDER....and go take a seat Ma'am / Sir...it's not about you!

This morning I posted this message on Facebook:

Free yourself from your past and live in the moment! 

You won't get very far if your head is constantly on a swivel.

 Eyes forward, heart lifted, mind made up and moving forward!

I thought that was going to be all, but of course, in God-like fashion, He urged me to share the "back story" with you.

I wrote last month about how God gave me permission to leave my office job.  To do what?, you ask.  I still don't know, but I am working and waiting as the plan is slowly being revealed.  Before I left though, I created folders and files for the next person who is to replace me.  (Just to help make the transition a little smoother.)

I must admit though that I have been saying, that God took away my passion for the position so He could take me to the next level.  This morning I received a revelation though..... perhaps God took away my passion for the position because He intends to take it to the next level through someone else.  Though I did GREAT work and was quite innovative, perhaps God needed to move me out of the way to get that work done and to bless the next individual.

OUCH! For real God??!! That stings!

Sometimes we think that things happen to us and for us because God is going to bless us beyond measure.  But what if it's not even about you? (and most things aren't) What if God really needs us out of the way because it's time to bless the next individual. (Maybe they are the one who is "next in line for a miracle"...in my Shirley Caesar voice.)   What if He just needed us to prepare the way?
I'm reminded of the scripture that says,

1 Corinthians 3:6-8 --> ⁶ I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the increase. ⁷ So then neither he who plants is anything, nor he who waters, but God who gives the increase. ⁸ Now he who plants and he who waters are one, and each one will receive his own reward according to his own labor.

 Interpretation please?!

The bottom line is that it doesn't matter who God uses to get His work accomplished.  The point is that the work will get accomplished and God will still get the glory.  So stop tripping!!!

That former job, that past relationship, your ideas that you put on the table, the connections that you made, the great job that you did was all wonderful and is a part of God's plan.  You may have planted the seed or maybe you were the next person who came along and watered the seed...but only God can actually make the seed grow.  So get over yourself and be just be available to be used.  Then when it's over, walk away with a smile on your face, knowing that you did YOUR part.   

This was so real for me this morning that it brought me to tears, while I was driving my car.  In my own egotistical self-righteous mindset, I was actually looking to get credit for all I had done.  But my spirit man awakened in me and told me to be humble, realizing that I was simply an instrument that God chose to use during a particular season.  That season of my life is over and it's a good thing! 

Just like we have four natural seasons: winter, spring, summer and fall.....God doesn't intend to keep us locked into one thing.  The winter has to surrender the cold, so the spring can bring forth tiny buds on the trees.  The spring has to surrender the rainy season, so the flowers can blossom in the summer.  The summer has to surrender the heat, so the coolness of the fall can flow through.  The fall has to surrender it's colorful leaves, so the winter can storm through and freeze everything over, just to start the cycle over again with a fresh, clean slate.  No season is better than the other.. each is different!

So I will end, with how I began the day:  Free yourself from your past and live in the moment! 

Appreciate where you are right now and always be ready to be moved into your next season.  No apologies, no excuses, just surrender.  Because once you surrender your will, God has a way to bless you right where you are ( probably because you are now humble enough to realize that this whole thing is NOT about you).

Side note:  After I cried and surrendered my feelings and emotions, I received a call from someone who wanted to move a meeting up with me.  I think it was just a tiny reminder from God that, "if you move yourself out of My way, I can bless you and blow your mind".

I encourage you to get out of your own way, recognize that you are a PART of God's plan and not the entire plan, surrender your season and walk it out....

 

On the Rooftop with God

At 6 am, I found myself lying flat on my back, looking up into the sky, recognizing the immensity of God.  I was invited to attend spiritual yoga on a restaurant rooftop, by a sweetheart of a friend/sister and I felt right at home.  I love nature and relishing in the beauty of God's creation, so it was rather reassuring to realize that there was nothing hindering my connection to God and the vast twilight sky.

The instructor didn't necessarily whisper, but she proclaimed the word of the Lord boldly and with passion, as soft music played in the background.  If you know anything about how the body works, you know that it takes time for your muscles to relax.  You can make a sudden movement and your muscle oftentimes counteracts that move which further tightens the muscle.  However if you slow down, release and stretch, you will notice that the muscle fibers will eventually relax and lengthen.  It was during those times that the instructor would offer to us that we should release whatever is keeping us back from recognizing the love of God.  As those muscles in my back and hamstrings were releasing, I was in the process of surrendering my will to the Father.

The scripture that she continuously referenced this morning was, Luke 12:32:

Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom.

Simply put, God takes pleasure in sharing His love, forgiveness, joy and peace with you.  He is not sitting back in judgment throwing all of your mistakes in your face.  He loves you and wants what is best for you.  It reminds me of how I treat my boys...... I want them to be successful, productive, humble leaders and it warms my heart when I see them doing things that will point them in that direction.  But even if they don't do what I'd like, I don't throw them away.....I place a gentle hand or speak a word that will guide them back to the right path.  I am patient with them and God is patient with me!

This means that I can rest in Him and be patient with myself as each of those muscles, or strongholds or dilemmas or issues are fully released. I don't have to walk in fear or condemnation, I walk in confidence because I know that it warms God's heart to give me exactly what I need.

I encourage you today to find a park bench, a little plot of grass, a rooftop, an open window, a beach or any place that calms you down and brings you joy.  Then look up into the Heavens, observe the beauty of nature and relax in Him.

Now walk it out......