Sunday, January 31, 2021

Give yourself a little grace: the best form of #selfcare

Give yourself a little grace: the best form of #selfcare.

We have all shown kindness to someone and told them how things will turn out fine.  We have helped to quash their fears and anxieties. Many of us have become the biggest cheerleaders for other people.  However, when it comes to forgiving ourselves for mistakes or misjudgments, we tend to speak self-doubt. As kids we used to make mistakes and keep on playing, quickly moving on to the next thing.  However, as adults, we have developed an amazing sound system in our heads that continuously repeats the same soundtrack. The track replays words like, “You should not have done that.” ;“You know better.”; and  “What will THEY think?” We repeat our sorrows, our mishaps, our missteps, our troubles only to end up back where we started, in regret.

Today, I invite you to learn a different mechanism and play a different soundtrack.  Trust me, you deserve it.  My mother-in-law used to always tell me that “you can’t give from an empty cup”, which was always my signal that I was running too much or being too hard on myself and just needed to sit down for a moment to catch my breath.  On the last day of January, here are five easy steps to continue the year and jumpstart your latest “self-care” regimen. 

#1 – PAUSE

When you notice that you have lost your center, simply pause.  Sometimes we are so busy helping others that we fail to realize that we have reached our limit and need help.  Ask yourself some questions:

  • v How do I feel?
  • v What are my thought patterns?
  • v Why am I snapping at people?

Pause for a moment to place yourself at the center of YOUR world.  Be concerned about what is troubling you. Just PAUSE for a moment to prepare yourself to learn something new about yourself and your current situation.

#2 - BREATHE

Deep breathing resets your internal system and triggers your body to act differently.  Put one hand on your chest and the other on your belly. Breathe in for a count of 4 and exhale for a count of 8.  The goal is to rid the body of any negative feelings and thought patterns that have invaded your body.

  • v Inhale peace, exhale pain
  • v Inhale serenity, exhale sorrow
  • v Inhale calm, exhale chaos

You have the power to shift the perception of any situation simply by taking a deep breath.  Every morning and evening, I pause to listen to my “Shine” app, which was created by a group of multicultural women.  There is a soothing calmness about their insights and one of the main features is learning to BREATHE.  When you place one hand on your chest and the other on your belly and focus on how your body feels as your chest cavity and diaphragm rises and falls with each inhalation and exhalation.  When your focus is there, your cares melt away for that moment in time.  I have found that now that I practice deep breathing daily, I am able to calm myself at any point throughout the day.

#3 – RECENTER

People who talk to themselves are oftentimes seen as crazy or delusional.  I would like to change the narrative in this instance.  Sometimes it is absolutely necessary to encourage yourself by speaking out loud.  Negative thoughts are usually the things that run around in our heads and keep us in silent pain.  Positive self-talk shifts the atmosphere.  The air changes around you when you speak encouraging words aloud.  As the atmosphere shifts, your body shifts simultaneously and you begin to regain your center.

Come on, give it a try…

  • v I am beautiful.  #shiftandrecenter
  • v I am powerful. #shiftandrecenter
  • v Everything that I need already lies within me. #shiftandrecenter
  • v I am worthy to put myself first. I am a priority! #shiftandrecenter

Do you feel it? The shift is happening right there in your at the cellular level.

#4-INVITE

Only invite people to be into your space who understand that your peace is paramount.  Invite only those things that feed your soul.  Fill your space with positivity and do not feel bad if you must leave some family or friends behind.  The pandemic has shown us so much.  The fact that we have been isolated and away from many of our friends as actually been liberating for so many.  Even as we recently went through the holiday season, if we followed CDC recommendations, we could not have those big family gatherings.  If you are to be honest, you have allowed too many individuals to sit at your table and you all have outgrown the space.  Still good people, but no longer in your circle and THAT HAS GOT TO BE OKAY WITH YOU.  Now you have the leisure and pleasure of inviting ONLY those individuals back into your circle who feed your soul.  I am reminded of the scripture that many quote out of Genesis, “May the Lord watch between me and thee while we are absent from one another”.  Well Ma’am and Sir, the Lord will continue to watch between us while we are absent, which will be forever.  Love you, but no longer invited into my space. Say it with me people, “I have grown”.

#5- RESET & Move Forward

Oftentimes, we have situations that keep us bound. We focus on the wrong things in the past and simply cannot seem to start over.  It is alright to begin anew.  Even as we have entered the year 2021, we can reset as we leave some of those hurts, fears, and pains behind us in 2020.

  • v New mindset
  • v New determination
  • v New outlook
  • v New goals
  • v New dreams
  • v New peace
  • v New joy

Self-care is what is needed today.  Give yourself a little grace for what you did or did not do or for what you may have missed. You deserve the same grace that you freely give others. So, as we continue to move throughout this year, practice #selfcare by showing yourself a little grace. It is time to hit the reset button and begin anew.  Extend grace to yourself and keep it moving.

 

~PAUSE-BREATHE-RECENTER-INVITE-RESET~

 

Now walk it out…

 

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