Give yourself a little grace: the
best form of #selfcare.
We have all shown kindness to
someone and told them how things will turn out fine. We have helped to
quash their fears and anxieties. Many of us have become the biggest
cheerleaders for other people. However, when it comes to forgiving
ourselves for mistakes or misjudgments, we tend to speak self-doubt. As kids we
used to make mistakes and keep on playing, quickly moving on to the next thing.
However, as adults, we have developed an amazing sound system in our heads that
continuously repeats the same soundtrack. The track replays words like, “You
should not have done that.” ;“You know better.”; and “What will THEY
think?” We repeat our sorrows, our mishaps, our missteps, our troubles only to
end up back where we started, in regret.
Today, I invite you to learn a
different mechanism and play a different soundtrack. Trust me, you
deserve it. My mother-in-law used to always tell me that “you can’t
give from an empty cup”, which was always my signal that I was running too much
or being too hard on myself and just needed to sit down for a moment to catch
my breath. On the last day of January, here are five easy steps to continue
the year and jumpstart your latest “self-care” regimen.
#1 – PAUSE
When you notice that you have lost
your center, simply pause. Sometimes we are so busy helping others that
we fail to realize that we have reached our limit and need help. Ask
yourself some questions:
- v How do I feel?
- v What are my thought patterns?
- v Why am I snapping at people?
Pause for a moment to place yourself
at the center of YOUR world. Be
concerned about what is troubling you. Just PAUSE for a moment to prepare
yourself to learn something new about yourself and your current situation.
#2 - BREATHE
Deep breathing resets your internal
system and triggers your body to act differently. Put one hand on your
chest and the other on your belly. Breathe in for a count of 4 and exhale for a
count of 8. The goal is to rid the body of any negative feelings and
thought patterns that have invaded your body.
- v Inhale peace, exhale pain
- v Inhale serenity, exhale sorrow
- v Inhale calm, exhale chaos
You have the power to shift the
perception of any situation simply by taking a deep breath. Every morning and evening, I pause to listen
to my “Shine” app, which was created by a group of multicultural women. There is a soothing calmness about their
insights and one of the main features is learning to BREATHE. When you place one hand on your chest and the
other on your belly and focus on how your body feels as your chest cavity and
diaphragm rises and falls with each inhalation and exhalation. When your focus is there, your cares melt away
for that moment in time. I have found
that now that I practice deep breathing daily, I am able to calm myself at any point
throughout the day.
#3 – RECENTER
People who talk to themselves are
oftentimes seen as crazy or delusional. I would like to change the
narrative in this instance. Sometimes it is absolutely necessary to
encourage yourself by speaking out loud. Negative thoughts are usually
the things that run around in our heads and keep us in silent pain.
Positive self-talk shifts the atmosphere. The air changes around you when
you speak encouraging words aloud. As the atmosphere shifts, your body
shifts simultaneously and you begin to regain your center.
Come on, give it a try…
- v I am beautiful. #shiftandrecenter
- v I am powerful. #shiftandrecenter
- v Everything that I need already lies within me. #shiftandrecenter
- v I am worthy to put myself first. I am a priority! #shiftandrecenter
Do you feel it? The shift is
happening right there in your at the cellular level.
#4-INVITE
Only invite people to be into your
space who understand that your peace is paramount. Invite only those
things that feed your soul. Fill your space with positivity and do not
feel bad if you must leave some family or friends behind. The pandemic
has shown us so much. The fact that we
have been isolated and away from many of our friends as actually been
liberating for so many. Even as we
recently went through the holiday season, if we followed CDC recommendations,
we could not have those big family gatherings.
If you are to be honest, you have allowed too many individuals to sit at
your table and you all have outgrown the space.
Still good people, but no longer in your circle and THAT HAS GOT TO BE
OKAY WITH YOU. Now you have the leisure
and pleasure of inviting ONLY those individuals back into your circle who feed
your soul. I am reminded of the
scripture that many quote out of Genesis, “May the Lord watch between me and
thee while we are absent from one another”.
Well Ma’am and Sir, the Lord will continue to watch between us while we
are absent, which will be forever. Love
you, but no longer invited into my space. Say it with me people, “I have grown”.
#5- RESET & Move Forward
Oftentimes, we have situations that
keep us bound. We focus on the wrong things in the past and simply cannot seem
to start over. It is alright to begin anew. Even as we have entered
the year 2021, we can reset as we leave some of those hurts, fears, and pains
behind us in 2020.
- v New mindset
- v New determination
- v New outlook
- v New goals
- v New dreams
- v New peace
- v New joy
Self-care is what is needed
today. Give yourself a little grace for what you did or did not do or for
what you may have missed. You deserve the same grace that you freely give
others. So, as we continue to move throughout this year, practice #selfcare by
showing yourself a little grace. It is time to hit the reset button and begin
anew. Extend grace to yourself and keep
it moving.
~PAUSE-BREATHE-RECENTER-INVITE-RESET~
Now walk it out…
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