After that realization, I could hear these three words in my spirit, "secure the home". It wasn't an audible voice, but I responded with a "what did you say?" inquisitive look on my face. Just as gently and peacefully, as the first time, I heard those three words resonating again, "secure the home". Those words were like the vibrations of low notes resonating from a cello or bass well after the bow has been lifted off the string. It was a sound that rang in my ears and shook me to the core. It wasn't scary, but I knew that it hadn't come from me. It was the Lord sweetly saying for me to "secure the home".
Although I'd heard it and felt it in my spirit, I hadn't truly digested what it actually meant. It would take an entire day of conversations, text messages, phone calls, face-to-face dialogue and social media scrolling to fully appreciate what those three words meant for me. We live in a society where everyone wants to be recognized and considered important for getting the most 'likes' or for having the largest number of followers on all the social media platforms. They share with you the most important details of their lives. You usually see their highs in print, but very rarely their honest lows. Sometimes, if you're not careful, you will begin to judge your life based on the "false" life of others.
Fast forward 2 weeks....
Well it has obviously taken more than one day to digest the true message. I am now sitting in the middle of my bed on a Sunday evening, two weeks later after writing the opening of this blog. It has taken a few more experiences within the last two weeks for me to completely understand the weight and significance of that voice still resonating inside.
This message is a message of settling into the seat which God has prepared for you. As our women's ministry is preparing for our Empowerment Conference entitled, "Preparing for Uncharted Territory: Mind, Body and Soul" it became so clear to me that God won't send you out to do the 'next best thing' until you can honor your current position or situation. By this I do not mean to settle for where you are in life, because I believe that you should always live with some type of expectation; however, you have the opportunity to see where you are as a blessing. When my husband and I were dating in college and began to get serious, we talked and dreamed about how we would spend the rest of our lives together. We said that we never wanted to raise latch-key kids. His church and my medical practice would somehow be in close proximity, so that our children would either go to the church with him or with me to the medical practice after school, then we'd all go home together as a family in the evening.They would never have to let themselves in the house as young children because one of us would be there.
Well he got the church, but I never opened the medical practice. But you know what, to this day, our kids are not latch-key kids. When I taught HS Chemistry and then began teaching at the University, I always had time to cook a full breakfast, send them off to school, do pick-ups, cook dinner and spend time with them. They never had to wait for me to get home from work and let themselves in the house. (So many of you have to do that and I commend you for your hard work, intense scheduling and sacrifice.) I didn't realize that I was getting exactly what I had dreamed about with Byron well over 20 years ago. Though I have been frustrated so many times within this past year, I realized that my frustration was because I was so busy trying to "keep up" and secure myself, my future and my career that I had lost sight of the gifts that God has given me. God has given me an absolutely amazing family, who need me in the role that I play at the moment. It's not that God is not willing to do wonderful things to secure my career, but He simply wants to know that he can trust me to make sure my home is anchored first, before I move into what He has planned for me.
What have you been frustrating your will over? You keep asking the same questions, " God why not me?, Why not now? When will I get mine? Do you see me God?". God will continue to sit in silence until you begin to learn the lesson of appreciating your current location. There are some things that you need to experience and learn from today that will prepare you for the tremendous blessings that God has planned for you next month or 5 years from now.
So today, I am content in knowing that this season will not last forever; but while I'm here, I am to make sure that my home is secure. Be sure that my husband knows that I have his back; that my kids know that they can talk to me about anything; that they are all well fed and cared for and that the boys know how to pray. I need to be sure that they see me cry and rejoice....and know how to show compassion. We are preparing our boys to "grow and go" each day. THIS is indeed a full time job and a blessing! For none of this do I receive a paycheck, but my rewards are priceless as I watch them develop into strong, young, gifted and compassionate black men.
No longer will I wrestle with the thoughts that "I'm not doing what I went to school for" (and paid good money for, if I may add); but rather I will continue to embrace where God has planted me and the assignment that He's given me. I WILL SECURE MY HOME FIRST! For those of you who work outside of the home, the same applies to you. Securing the home is about making sure you appreciate where you are at the moment, instead of pining away for where you think you ought to be. Securing the home is living in the moment and appreciating the journey. Where you are right now is only a part of the greater journey, so make a decision to embrace it and then grow from it.
Now walk it out!
