I hadn't realized the leaves had changed until the tree had fallen

Last week, we celebrated Thanksgiving.  My husband and I cooked for more than 20 people and had an amazing time entertaining guests the entire weekend.  The only downfall to the holiday weekend was that we were hit with torrential downpours and eventually an ice storm.  We were lying in bed on Saturday morning and heard a sudden crash...it was the sound of the tree outside our bedroom  window splitting and falling to the ground.  (Thank God, it didn't damage the house.)

Throughout the day, we heard the crackling of tree limbs and watched, cautiously, as the wires crossing our backyard began to droop under the weight of the ice accumulation.  Thousands of people across the city, lost electrical power and trees lost limbs as the freezing rain continued to fall.  It wasn't until Sunday morning as I drove to church and again this morning as I walked Arby, that I noticed the leaves on the trees had already changed.  The leaves were so brilliantly colored.  Shades of ruby, violet, chartreuse, cocoa, cherry, turquoise and hazel all intermingled on the ground.  They were so beautiful!  The colors were so intense and immediately I felt a tinge of disappointment.  I wasn't disappointed because the limbs had fallen, but my heart sank because I realized that I had missed the changing of the season.  

Everyday I drive or walk along the same street lined by massive trees and I hadn't noticed the leaves had changed their hue.  It immediately made me stop to think what else I had been missing.  What things had I skimmed over because I was moving too quickly?  What cues had I missed to signal that I was embarking upon another season?   What cues have you missed?

Are you traveling along the same streets and missing the signs?  Are you going through life without recognizing the tiny joys and the beautiful shades that cover your personal landscape?  Are you so busy trying to get down the street of life that you have completely missed the trees and shrubs that line your path?  

• The laughter of your children?
• The hug of a friend?
• The smile of a stranger?
• The touch of your lover?
• The note of encouragement?
• The unexpected phone call? 

Have you missed it all?

Think about it!  Why are we constantly rushing through life, trying to reach our academic, financial and social goals; but missing the tiny details and crucial life experiences that were sent to make us recognize the beauty of God?  It's not too late to make a change!  You don't want to wait until a storm comes and the tree splits before you realize how beautiful it really was.

Be thankful for the few friends who are consistent in your life.....let them know that you appreciate them.

Be gracious and helpful to the senior citizen whom you see struggling to walk down the aisle...offer a cart or maybe your arm to help steady them.

Be mindful when you spend time with your children...recognize that 5 minutes of your undivided attention means a lifetime of your child knowing that you care.

Be present when your lover touches the small of your back....it might not be about intercourse but rather the touch symbolizes a form of intimacy and connection.

Be open to wisdom of others....they might save you a world of bad decisions.

Take time to notice every pigment and shade: brown or toffee-colored; green or mint; orange or apricot; red or cerise; yellow or lemon; blue or ultramarine.  Each color is vibrant and original and carries with it its own story.  Don't miss the message.  Don't miss the opportunity.  Don't miss the joy.  Relish every interaction.  Recognize each opportunity to grow.  There's still enough time to recognize the pulchritude of the leaves before the tree actually falls.

Now walk it out.............. and notice the leaves.

You are NOT your situation! You're so much more!

A few weeks ago, Courtland jammed his middle finger playing basketball and then injured it again the following week.  RICE... rest-ice-compression-elevation was our prescription once the x-ray determined that it was not broken.  I purchased a finger splint for him just to make him feel a little more comfortable and to prevent re-injury.

I noticed that he had begun wearing the splint and it was becoming a crutch.  If he would take it off around the house for a moment, he would go into a conniption if he couldn't find it before going out.  The whole scene was beginning to get old!  On Monday afternoon, I was picking him up from school and found him in one of the rooms finishing his homework.  I sat there with him as he finished and watched as he pulled the splint off and on.  He noticed that the splint had begun to smell after wearing it for so long.  I suggested that he take it off and begin squeezing a tennis ball to work on his flexibility. (We were still using ibuprofen for the residual swelling.)  He looked at me strangely and with doubt in his eyes; but the more I talked about the benefits of moving his finger he was willing to let the splint go.  That was Monday and this is Friday and he has not looked back since.  It made me think how he had begun to rely on the finger splint because he really thought that he still needed it.  The splint, however, no longer served any purpose (except by being a germ incubator).

That moment made me think about how easily we fall into the trap of living out of our hurt and pain.  We collect the titles of illness, misfortune and heartbreak and wear them like a badge.  We adapt our lives to accommodate the splint that we've grown accustomed to, without realizing that it is beginning to smell foul and is affecting those around us.

Think about it....

• You lost your job and now you feel inadequate which causes you to lash out at others.
• Your relationship ended and you immediately found someone else to take your mind off the hurt, not realizing that you are not giving them the full YOU because you don't know who that really is.
• You received the diagnosis and immediately started coughing, hanging your head and dragging your feet because of what the report said, Not because you actually felt sick.

So many times we act out of habit and societal norms.  If something sad happens, then surely we are to be sad.  If something hurts us then somehow we are now justified to take it out on those around us.  If we receive a disturbing phone call, it somehow should affect the rest of the day.

But what would happen if we actually began to act the opposite of what is normally expected?  What would happen if instead of jumping from one relationship to another, we'd actually take time to love ourselves first?  What would happen if after we received the report, we'd begin to thank God for our healing? What would happen if after losing our job, we'd actually work on rebuilding our resume and maybe enroll in school for another degree?

Sometimes it's easy to pick up the negative labels, but I challenge you to trample the label under your feet and stand tall.  You are NOT your situation!  You don't have to wear the label and badge of disappointment because God has created you for more.  Put on Deuteronomy 28:13 that reminds us that "you are the head and not the tail'.  Speak life over your situation and begin to "call things that are not as though they were".

I am Peace.
I am Joy.
I am the embodiment of Christ.
I am  fearfully and wonderfully made.
I am unique.
I am blessed.

Now recognize that you are not what you're going through...... be willing to change the label and
walk it out............!

You can't eat table food, if you're developmentally only ready for breast milk

I must share a bit of what I shared with a woman's group earlier today....a group in which I once held an officer position.  It's a testimony about moving when God says move, rather than participating in something because you've always done it. It's a testimony about how God still shows His mercy and allows a window to close on you, even when you refuse to close it yourself.  I've written about dancing in the hallway before and I've mentioned about faith in God when I left my job this summer.  This testimony is about my being transparent...honest with God, myself and others as God is building my faith muscles.

Here is a portion of the letter of encouragement that I shared with my Sister-friends. Please make sure there is a purpose for everything that you do!

Dear  _____________

If you have ever read my book or consistently follow my blog posts, then you know that I am literally an open book and tell all of my business. LOL. God allows me to use everyday situations, some sane and others totally crazy to minister to me and ultimately to others.  Whether I’m walking the dog, interacting with my family, gazing up into the sky or lying in the bed thinking, God talks to me and shows me another side of myself as I ascertain the different aspects of His love.

So why, when addressing my Sisters, would God to talk to me in any other way?  Prayerfully my transparency will minister to you and allow you to see another side of yourself and a different perspective of God’s love.

Back in March, God spoke to me and told me that it was time to leave my job.  WHAT??!!!  Are you crazy?  Honestly, things were becoming slightly uncomfortable for me in the office, and I didn’t realize that this was God’s way of slowly moving me out of that position.  (He knew that I was in so deep and so comfortable that I could have stayed there for many more years… just wasting time.) I was still going to teach my classes for two separate departments, but the part time office position that afforded me “play money” and the bulk of the boys’ tuition was going to be gone.  I’ve trusted God before and I knew from past experience that He would provide. (He ALWAYS does.) At the end of May, I said goodbye to a job that had been my home for the past 7 or 8 years because I believed and still do believe that God has created me for more.

It’s amazing though because as I was making physical moves, God was touching my heart and shifting my mindset.  My downfall was… I began to search things out on my own in attempt to make up that ‘money’ difference, but every door remained shut.  I had shut the door on one thing and expected God to move me quickly through the next door…but the next door was closed as well.

Me: Lord I know you didn’t bring me out in the hallway to leave me here.  I did what I thought you wanted me to do and I’m still in the hallway.  Pay my tithes and continue to be faithful, but I’m still in the hallway. Continue to be a light and encouragement to others, but I’m still in the hallway.  Crossed all my T’s and dotted all of the I’s, but I’m still in the hallway.

God:  Baby-girl, I guess you better figure it out until the next-door opens then.  In fact, I can’t even open the door because you’re not ready to walk through it.  There are some things that I need to teach you in the hallway.  There are some lessons that you need to learn in the hallway.  There are some old habits that you need to break in the hallway.  There’s quiet time that I’d like to spend with you in the hallway.  So the hallway can be a place of annoyance for you or a place of acceptance.  The hallway can be a place of pain or of peace; a place of complaining or a place of constant communication with me; a place of refusal or a place of refuge; a place of hurt or a sanctuary of healing.  It’s up to you Girl, what you decide to do while you’re here in the hallway.  The length of time that you’re in the hallway depends on how you react to the challenges that I place before you.  I don’t need your skill set to move you forward, all I want is your surrender.

Me: Okay God, I get it now.  So I guess I better learn how to dance. Excuse me while I go get my cutest high-heeled shoes because I’m ready to praise you and dance right here in this hallway. (Lawd knows, I love a cute heel.)

So that’s what I’ve been doing Ladies, I’ve been dancing in the hallway! And God has been revealing Himself to me.  I’ve been saying yes to some things and slowly walking away from others.  I’ve been cutting the fat and feasting off of the lean meat. (And we all know the fatty part of the steak is what gives it flavor.)  Honestly I have been fighting it since May, but I am learning to surrender my will to His.  I had saved my money to pay my dues and every time I was going to pay it, I needed it for something else.  So I’d put my coins to the side again, only to have to use it for something more pressing.  I thought I had to save face and just be a part of the organization because that was expected of me, but God quietly whispered, “Is this how you want to treat me in the hallway?”  And yes, I kept fighting back.  I hadn’t been able to do it myself, but God pulled the trigger by letting the bylaws of the organization end my participation.  Time finally expired for me to pay, but the next morning I was so relieved!  (I know that sounds crazy, but it is so true.) It’s just a part of my hallway experience!

I am not sad. I am not frustrated. I am not bemoaning my decision. (Pardon me, His will for me.)  I am learning to listen. I am building my faith muscles.  I am trusting God more and not relying on my connections.  I am preparing my heart and mind, as God is custom designing what’s on the other side of the door for me.  Correction…He already has what He wants for me on the other side of the door…. He’s just been waiting for me to grow up so I can handle what is through the next opening.  (There is nothing worse than giving a baby table food when he/she is still only able to digest breast milk.)  Let the church say….Amen!

So there it is Ladies, that’s my story and my hallway experience.  Too much information?!...too bad that’s just me.  I don’t know whom that was for, but I felt lead to share it with you.  As you are moving, working, growing and raising families, remember to keep your ear in tune to God’s voice.  God has created you to be a blessing to the people who have been placed in your path and there are some things that will only be accomplished if you decide to step up and do your part.  So live my Sister and if you ever find yourself between two doors and can’t find your way out, I challenge you to make the decision to dance in the hallway.  Drink the milk now and grow strong healthy teeth so God can prepare a feast before you and you're ready to take a bite!

Now walk it out...

UNPLUG THE OVEN.....it's way too hot in here!

This past Friday night, I cooked dinner and my husband decided to try a new pie recipe.  He makes the best sweet potato pies ever, but wanted to try sweet potato/pumpkin pie. (I'm telling you he really thinks he is Chef Boyardee.)  We were off to a late start, so the pies (2 deep dish) weren't done baking until 11 pm.  My microwave is situated over the oven, suspended underneath the cabinet.  There is a mechanism that helps the microwave to protect itself from too much heat exposure. If the oven gets too hot, there is an exhaust fan that immediately switches on inside the microwave and diverts the excess heat through the venting system in the ceiling. Normally, once the oven is turned off and gradually cools down the exhaust fan cuts off. 

Once the pies were finished, oven shut off, pies placed on table to cool, I snuck a piece of pie and journeyed into the bedroom.  After lying in bed and watching TV for a while, I needed a glass of water and had to go back to the kitchen.  I noticed the kitchen was still pretty warm and the exhaust fan on the microwave was still engaged.  Strange!  It had been nearly 45 minutes, so surely everything should have cooled off by now.  I turned the knobs on the stove to make sure they were all off and they were.  But when I opened the oven door, a gust of hot air nearly singed my eyebrows.  It was HOT!  Immediately I yelled for Byron and he rushed into the kitchen trying different things to shut the oven off.  Since it was after midnight, it was too late to call our handyman, so we searched the computer search engines by typing in “my oven won’t shut off”.  We received several things that could be wrong and found varying responses about the temperature apparatus gone bad and the like. They all suggested things that needed someone skilled to address. One response caught my attention though…it said to UNPLUG the oven. I did just that and called Oklahoma Natural Gas just to be sure that I didn’t have to worry about the gas line that went into the back of the oven.  After receiving a favorable response from them, we opened the kitchen windows (err on the side of caution), PRAYED and went to bed.

We didn’t need the oven on Saturday, but I wanted a bowl of Cream of Wheat on Sunday morning.  I decided to plug the oven back in, cook my breakfast cereal on the stovetop quickly before the oven could fully heat back up.  It worked and then I UNPLUGGED it once again.  For Sunday dinner we had our mouths set on stuffed roast chicken, so I turned the oven on once again, roasted my chicken and turned the oven back off.  This morning, I decided to make sausage egg burritos for the boys, before sending them off for school (that’s their favorite).   I plugged the oven back into the wall socket, cooked my sausage, combined the eggs, toasted the flour tortillas, grated the cheese, rolled the tortillas, UNPLUGGED the oven and called the boys for breakfast.

Hopefully today we’ll the oven fixed or replaced, since we’ve already informed our handyman.  But it got me thinking that sometimes we are like the oven that just won't turn off and continues overheating. So many times we’ve been caught up in situations, that if left uncontrolled, could potentially overheat,  cause a fire and damage everything around it.

·      A job where you’re unfilled because you’ve outgrown it….overheated.

·      A relationship that you keep trying to hold onto even though you know it serves no purpose and is unhealthy…overheated.

·      Family members that you keep trying to save, although they refuse to participate in their own liberation…overheated.

·      Worry and stress…stress and worry…more worry and more stress……..overheated.

·      Doing things that keep you running around busy, but not productive…overheated.

Becoming overheated may show up differently for each of us, but we know once the heat inside is too much to handle it has the potential to damage things around us.  In times like this, you must UNPLUG.  Perhaps you can’t permanently fix the situation that caused you to get overheated, but you can simply UNPLUG for a little while.

• UNPLUG from gossip.
• UNPLUG from the fatalistic view of yourself.
• UNPLUG from the Superman or Wonder woman persona.
• UNPLUG from draining conversations.
• UNPLUG from unhealthy relationships.
• UNPLUG from groups or organizations that take up too much of your time without yielding anything.
• UNPLUG - UNPLUG – UNPLUG

Once you’ve unplugged for a while and everything has cooled down, you have several options; you can plug back in on your schedule, fix the broken piece or completely replace it.  Only you can decide what is expedient for you.  The point is…you do have an option.  No one will force you to make the decision; it’s totally up to you.  The only time that you should stay plugged in consistently, is when you have control of the thermostat and can adjust it on your terms.  Until then just stay UNPLUGGED.

Now walk it out…