Two years ago, I began on this health quest. I was doing Zumba at least 4 times a week and counting my calories on the Myfitnesspal app. I was so excited to work out and everyone in the house knew that I was serious. The boys would see me after putting on my workout clothes and they would say,"have a good time at Zumba Mommy". I was sold out! Even when my mother fell ill and passed, I was still diligent in my health quest. I was determined not to allow my heartache and grief keep me from maintaining my own health.
I was happy to purge my closet and bless other people with remnants from my wardrobe. I was even more excited to go into the stores to purchase clothes in a smaller size. Anyone who knows me, pretty much agrees that I am a morning person. So if I wasn't doing Zumba in the evening, I was surely getting to the gym about 5:30 am to run on the treadmill or do the elliptical machine. This was my pattern and it was truly working for me.
Well something happened at the end of last year that changed my workout schedule and caused me to revert back to my old ways. My husband developed blood clots in his lungs and we discovered some underlying health conditions, which caused him to spend the entire week of Christmas in the hospital. Praise God that all went well and he returned home. From the moment he returned home, he was determined to make some major health changes. We ate differently, he began an exercise regimen that fit his schedule and I supported him in all of his efforts. As he began losing weight and his body began changing, I was so excited for him. We had to take his pants to be altered, because they were falling off of him. And he even ordered smaller sizes. What an exciting time!!!
But I have a confession to make... I resented my husband for getting in shape and doing better than me. Ridiculous right?
I didn't realize at the time, but my workout schedule was almost nonexistent. My morning workouts were over and evening Zumba was no longer a contender in the Coleman schedule. During the summer, my husband and I would sometimes go to the gym together, but I was not consistent. Slowly, but ever so surely my weight began to creep up. Then the semester began and the boys returned to school. All of my focus shifted to them and not on my own wellness. It's funny because as my husband continued to go to the gym, he began encouraging me to go whenever I got a free moment. Are you serious? Is this dude coaching me now? OH GREAT!
Present day...
I have noticed that I haven't been feeling as good as I used to. I know it's simply because I have picked up a few extra and unnecessary pounds. Yesterday, I was talking to someone who is working with a private trainer. When she asked if I was still working out. I said no and then I heard myself going through a list of reasons why I wasn't doing what I knew I should be doing. When I finished, I thought to myself, 'how lame'. So many times I have criticized others for making excuses and not tapping into what they know is right for them. I had become one of THEM. Oh Lord please help!
I really don't want to be the type of person who blames everyone else for why they're not accomplishing certain things. The funny thing is that I was able to disguise this behavior because it was wrapped in a few of my successes. Yes, I'm celebrating the publishing of my new book, celebrating the opening of my business account, celebrating my opportunity to speak at a women's conference on the East Coast.......but failing in the upkeep of ME.
Well this morning when I woke up, I laid in bed trying to decide if I was going to get up and go to they gym. The kids are out of school, it's raining outside and this bed is quite comfortable. As I swung my feet over the side of the bed, I made up my mind that I was going to put my workout clothes on and go to the gym. As I was dressing, my husband woke up and asked if I wanted to go to breakfast. I heard myself say, " Sure, after I work out". Did that just come out of my mouth? Woohoo! My first step towards making my health a priority once again.
I arrived at the gym and did the elliptical for 35 minutes, traveling 3 miles and burning over 300 calories. But I knew that I needed to do some circuit training. However, every time I look at those 19- red Hoise fitness machines, I instantly become intimidated. I made up my mind and decided to ask one of the trainers for assistance. I admitted to her that I loved cardio, but machines were not my favorite. "Which machines should I make a part of my workout regimen?" Well, wasn't I pleasantly surprised when she only chose 4 out of the 19 machines for me to work on? She said that if I did these 4, I would cover every large muscle group in my body. I'm glad to say that I did it and felt great afterwards. It wasn't as bad as I had imagined.
So today, I reclaimed ME and moved past an 'unreal' fear. As I was finishing up in the gym, I began to talk to myself and decided that I would no longer blame anyone else for causing me not to accomplish my goals.
I will pick the exercise schedule that works best for me, even if it means getting up while it's still dark outside and the family is still asleep.
I will control my portion sizes while I am making healthier food choices.
I will not be intimidated by what I think will be difficult.
I will ask for assistance when needed. (Remember the 19 machines, turned out to be only 4 machines for me.)
I will not rest on the laurels of success in certain areas, without attempting to gain success in all areas.
I will treat myself well, so that I can be around for my family. ( I can't help them when I don't help myself!)
I encourage you take a look at your situation and if there is anything that is keeping you in fear from branching out... acknowledge it, confront it and work through it. For you it may not be exercise. It might be a dream that you haven't begun to actualize. It might be a career shift. It might be facing the reality of your situation and working to improve it.
Take time to focus on the betterment of you and less time blaming others. They are doing them, it's time to do YOU!
Now walk it out...
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