Monday, February 18, 2013

Could vs. Should

In the book, You Can Heal Your Life, by Louise Hay, she mentions that there is one word that she wishes could be stricken from the English language.  That word is SHOULD!

The word should is defined as such...Used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness, typically when criticizing someone's actions: "he should have been careful" .  It's such a powerful, yet condemning word.  If you think back to the last time you used the  word 'should', were you pointing your finger?  Were you trying to convey to your child, spouse, coworker or friend that something was done incorrectly?  Were you placing yourself in a position of high moral authority?  Probably so, if we are to be honest.  But what is most damaging is using the word on ourselves and replaying it on our mind.
  • I should have gone to or finished college.
  • I should have moved.
  • I should have married someone else.
  • I should have waited to have children.
  • I should have left the job long ago.
  • I should have eaten better.
  • I should have gone to the doctor sooner.
  • I should have gone to the gym.
  • I should have _______________ (you fill in the blank).

Don't you feel heavy after just reading those statements?  It's as if you have no control over what happens in your life.  You are probably saying to yourself, "aww man, I should have done this or that thing, because I probably wouldn't be in the position that I'm in right now.  Well I'd like to posit into your spirit that if you would change the word should to could, things will start looking better.

The word could is  "used to indicate possibility".  It is a word that signifies hope and choice.  Could is an equally powerful word!  Could does not allow you to be led by the situation, but it helps you to reorient yourself,  in the midst of the situation.  Statements using the word 'could', show that you are hopeful that things will happen for you, if you take certain actions.
  • I could further my education right now, if I search for a school that caters to older adults.
  • I could put the love back in my marriage, if I do those things that I used to do that we both enjoyed.
  • I could move now, if I save my money, step out on faith and just do it.
  • I could learn to love and appreciate the stages that my children are in right now.
  • I could apply for a new job or find ways to enhance my performance at my present job.
  • I could eat more healthy foods, get off the couch and walk around the block once each day.
  • I could _________________ (fill in the blank).

These 'could' statements are all a sign of optimism, hope and enthusiasm.  It places YOU back in control.  It is not a word of condemnation, but a word of choice.

You can choose how you want your life to play out.  Make a decision and stick to it.  If you don't like it, change it.  You have the power! It's time that we stop beating ourselves up and living in the place of lack. God wants us to live fulfilled lives.  John 10:10b says, "I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly." 

Now you could read this and still go back to the same negative thought patterns that tend to cripple you.  Or you could make up in your mind that I will make a conscious effort to think more positively, be more hopeful and take action.  The bottom line is, THE CHOICE IS YOURS!

Now walk it out...

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