Could vs. Should

In the book, You Can Heal Your Life, by Louise Hay, she mentions that there is one word that she wishes could be stricken from the English language.  That word is SHOULD!

The word should is defined as such...Used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness, typically when criticizing someone's actions: "he should have been careful" .  It's such a powerful, yet condemning word.  If you think back to the last time you used the  word 'should', were you pointing your finger?  Were you trying to convey to your child, spouse, coworker or friend that something was done incorrectly?  Were you placing yourself in a position of high moral authority?  Probably so, if we are to be honest.  But what is most damaging is using the word on ourselves and replaying it on our mind.

• I should have gone to or finished college.
• I should have moved.
• I should have married someone else.
• I should have waited to have children.
• I should have left the job long ago.
• I should have eaten better.
• I should have gone to the doctor sooner.
• I should have gone to the gym.
• I should have _______________ (you fill in the blank).

Don't you feel heavy after just reading those statements?  It's as if you have no control over what happens in your life.  You are probably saying to yourself, "aww man, I should have done this or that thing, because I probably wouldn't be in the position that I'm in right now.  Well I'd like to posit into your spirit that if you would change the word should to could, things will start looking better.

The word could is  "used to indicate possibility".  It is a word that signifies hope and choice.  Could is an equally powerful word!  Could does not allow you to be led by the situation, but it helps you to reorient yourself,  in the midst of the situation.  Statements using the word 'could', show that you are hopeful that things will happen for you, if you take certain actions.

• I could further my education right now, if I search for a school that caters to older adults.
• I could put the love back in my marriage, if I do those things that I used to do that we both enjoyed.
• I could move now, if I save my money, step out on faith and just do it.
• I could learn to love and appreciate the stages that my children are in right now.
• I could apply for a new job or find ways to enhance my performance at my present job.
• I could eat more healthy foods, get off the couch and walk around the block once each day.
• I could _________________ (fill in the blank).

These 'could' statements are all a sign of optimism, hope and enthusiasm.  It places YOU back in control.  It is not a word of condemnation, but a word of choice.

You can choose how you want your life to play out.  Make a decision and stick to it.  If you don't like it, change it.  You have the power! It's time that we stop beating ourselves up and living in the place of lack. God wants us to live fulfilled lives.  John 10:10b says, "I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly." 

Now you could read this and still go back to the same negative thought patterns that tend to cripple you.  Or you could make up in your mind that I will make a conscious effort to think more positively, be more hopeful and take action.  The bottom line is, THE CHOICE IS YOURS!

Now walk it out...

Please invade my space!

The most amazing thing happened to me today.  I had to be a blessing in the midst of my hurt and it felt so good.

For the last 11 days, I have been Wonder Woman, caring for my parents.  Speaking life, health and wholeness in the midst of our situation.  It was difficult leaving them to return back to my own family. I wanted to store them in my luggage and bring them home with me.  Of course, we know that is not possible.  So I boarded the plane in tears, as I said goodbye to my Daddy.

My first flight was 3 hours and 50 minutes, the layover was as an hour and the next flight would be 45 minutes.  That wouldn’t be so bad if I were actually going to be home, but I still had another flight to catch.  Can you say, "serious fatigue!".

During my layover, I was trying to coordinate the last leg of the flight and I had a meltdown right there in the middle of the airport.

No more shiny bracelets and no more form fitting patriotic outfit, high heeled boots, tiara with the red star and the gold lasso.  Wonder Woman was plain old Sharri, who couldn’t fight the tears any longer.  I had to go into a stall in the ladies room and just cry.  I couldn’t stop.  I just couldn’t stop. Upon exiting the stall, I went to the sink still sniffling and trying to control the tears, as women walked around me and said NOTHING.  No – “Miss are you alright?”  “Can I call someone for you?”  “ Are you in trouble?” Nothing-just silence and eye aversion.  I eventually got it together and called my husband to arrange my pick-up from the airport, which would not occur until 8:45 pm.  As I waited for the next flight, I was able to calm down and board the plane.

Suddenly I hear a young lady, walking down the airplane aisle, talking on the phone using expletives.  She was obviously upset about something, because she kept using the same two words over and over again.  I must admit, I immediately judged her.  I said beautiful girl, ugly insides! She sat directly behind me.  Great!  As we were preparing to taxi the runway, I could hear those same 2 words ringing in my ears.  In a few more minutes, I heard sobbing.

"OK Sharri, what are you going to do?"  

Here’s another woman in tears and she is being ignored, this time by me.  Do I invade her space? Do I act as if I really don’t hear her?  Do I ignore the fact the she has covered her entire head with the soft, blue airplane blanket?  I couldn’t do that!  I simply turned around, touched her leg and ask if she was going to be alright.  When she uncovered her head, I saw a frightened woman, eyes red, sobbing uncontrollably, who whispers, “I’m scared, I don’t like this feeling”.  Without thinking, I continued to rub her leg (while another woman just looked at us), instructed her to take deep breaths and turn her overhead air on.  Once I realized that she was breathing more steadily, I assured her that she would be alright and turned back around for the remainder of the flight.

It was at that moment that I smiled inside and I realized how important it is to invade someone’s space from time to time.  I had to feel temporary loneliness in that bathroom stall, just so I could empathize with that woman on the airplane and minister to her.  I faced the fear of rejection by standing up and doing what I honestly felt in my heart...compassion. At the end of the day, I believe each of us wants to know that we matter and that we are not invisible.  Maybe you need to let someone know that you see them, hear them and that you value the fact that they are a part of the universe. 

God can heal your heart and you can be a help, even in the midst of your hurt.  But you might just have to take a chance and step outside of your comfort zone.  You matter to God and someone else needs to know that their existence matters to you.

Now walk in your healing and go invade someone’s space.

Got Faith?

Faith is standing in the midst of the storm, in a torrential downpour, lightning & thundering, windy & cold and clothes soaking wet; YET still believing that the sun (Son) is going to show up and brighten the day.

Hebrews 11:1 says, "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen".

We can believe God for others, but what do you do when you have to believe God for yourself?

Simple.......................you just believe!

Now walk it out!